Radio 2 in the Park 2024

[Mike]

Every single conversation i have with my parents eventually turns into a conversation about moving house. they know i hate the idea, they know its tearing me apart inside, and yet they will not shut up about it.

Not happy.

on top of that i didnt get any sleep at all last night and spent 3 hours looking at the clock going round. just couldnt get to sleep.

Not having a good day.

[YoppaDo]

2 deadlines on one day, gonna be up a couple o hours yet. Cracking open the Red Bull!

[Nik B.]

I've just got in a bit of a mard today for no reason. Kinda ruined my evening =*[

[Lucinda]

I suppose it's a good thing in a way.

He just doesn't feel the same. Disappointed, but in a way I kind of knew. It was just so hard to tell, especially after what happened on Saturday. But he was sweet about it and I genuinely believe he didn't mean to mess me around. At least I still have a great friend. Just have to keep it that way because I don't want this to bother me any more than it has to but it can end up that way.

I don't want to be tranqulized any more. I want to feel. I don't think I should stop taking the drugs till I see the doctor on Friday though. I've got a hell of a weekend coming up in terms of coursework as well. Yay.

[Bumble_85]

Awww that's rubbish but at least you know now.

I am so fricking cold. Despite the heating having been on a lot. Stupid snow and not enough people being in our house at the minute. I have 3 layers on and am still cold. Gah.

My computer is dying. Again. I have no money for a new one. This is rubbish.

[DC]

i'm really sick of seeing people my age all around me in happy relationships, it always gets in my face a lot near valentines day. trust me i can always pick out a happy couple from a mile off, even if i don't know who they are. won't seem to happen for me at all and it's really pissing me off now.

also i want a ps3 so i can have the new resident evil when it comes out, but the price of it all puts me off. though i've heard that the new resi games have lost the horror edge that resi 1,2,3 & code veronica had. apparently they are action games now which is a downer.

[Viv]

I've got an interview at 1000 hours this morning. I'm well scared.

I've voted for Adele on the Brits page.

Takes ages to actually get to the voting bit. Annoying. And why do they need my telephone number. Are the planning large amounts of unwanted texts.

[Guest CancerForTheCure]

Vampires chasing you? What films have you been watching lately? I at least hope they were good looking ones!

Twilight 3 times but shhhh it didn't have anything to do with it

Lucinda, I think it's really good that you still have him as a friend. Don't give up - it seems that he's still unsure even if he says he doesn't feel the same way. He might change his mind.

I had mooting today. I've only been sleeping 4-5 hrs a day for the past week and that's really not good considering how ill I am (and it's just getting worse). During the moot I threw a coughing fit and felt really faint - luckily that was after my submission but I still didn't like disturbing other people. The judge was very intimidating and quite patronising which didn't help. I can finally get some sleep which is a good thing but then I have to spend the whole weekend preparing for my tutorials and my constitutional law book still hasn't arrived. Argh.

[Grace]

I'm going out on Monday night and my bloody dress hasn't arrived (meaning I now won't have a chance to return it if it doesn't fit) and my Mum has just decided she'll no longer get me some shoes I've been pining after (despite the fact she's paying for my bloody brother to go skiing. Skiing! All I want is some fecking shoes!) so my whole beautiful outfit I had planned is now not going to happen.

It's times like these I really miss the girly thread.

[Jono]

Grrrr that sucks about the shoes Grace. What happened to the girly thread?

It became a girly group.

[Jono]

Not really sure why one can't just create a thread about the clothes dilemma!

[Grace]

Not really sure why one can't just create a thread about the clothes dilemma!

It's not the same! *sob*

[EllieForPresident]

I lost a piece of pepperoni off of my pizza in transfer from oven to plate

:'( sympathy please

[Lucinda]

Lucinda, I think it's really good that you still have him as a friend. Don't give up - it seems that he's still unsure even if he says he doesn't feel the same way. He might change his mind.

First off, I don't think I should hang on to the idea that he might change his mind. It won't do me any good.

I saw him today, I mean we talk and stuff but it doesn't feel the same. I can tell he's feeling awkward and embarrassed. I can totally see his side of the situation but it doesn't make me feel any better. I know it will just be a matter of time before we're having a laugh together like we were before and conversations flow and stuff.

It's just bad timing really. What with what tomorrow is and also with me trying to come off the tranquilizers. I feel like shit right now. I got home just before 7, tried to think of what I wanted to eat for tea, couldn't make up my mind, got a cup of fruit tea (I'm well hardcore), sat on the sofa and somehow fell asleep because I felt too apathetic to move. I'm having one of those nights where staring at the walls seems like a valid activity. My head hurts and I am sort of hungry but don't feel inspired by any of the food I've got.

I've got to write an essay essentially before 6pm Monday. I saw the doctor today and he said I should take less of the Diazepam. I want to stop taking it so I can think clearly.

I feel like sooner or later it's going to catch up with me and I'm going to let it all out and bawl my eyes out. Unfortunately that may well end up being tomorrow night. Sorry, this has been more of a blog entry than a post but this is what currently sucks in my life.

[Behelzebub]

OK, I now officially have no idea how much work I'm supposed to be doing here... our year abroad tutor at Birmingham told me I only had to do 15 credits but everyone else seems to think we have to do 30. So now I'm very confused and just want to know for sure what the hell I'm supposed to be doing. The Birmingham Spanish department really p*ss me off sometimes, I think they actually like confusing us and changing things without telling is, they're almost as badly organised as the uni here.

So I'm in a kind of 'staring at the walls' mood as well at the moment and may very well also end up crying my eyes out at some point (although for slightly different reasons). I'm starting to wonder if I'd be better off giving up and coming home, I honestly don't think I've ever felt as stressed as I have done these past few months... the sooner this whole year abroad thing's over the better, I just want to go back to my proper uni and spend time with my friends and get back into my normal routine again.

[Viv]

I'm thinking of you, Lucinda (and Behelzebub!! - please don't give up!!!).

[Jono]

I feel shit. I am at home because I wanted focus on my studies and clear my mind. Instead my dad is at home and so my mum is forcing all of the jobs on him causing much arguments. I didn't sleep until 3am last night and was woken up at 7am. My illness is getting to me and I don't want to leave the house.

[Nik B.]

I feel shit. I am at home because I wanted focus on my studies and clear my mind. Instead my dad is at home and so my mum is forcing all of the jobs on him causing much arguments. I didn't sleep until 3am last night and was woken up at 7am. My illness is getting to me and I don't want to leave the house.

Life can be hard when you aren't at you're best, All you can do is persevere and hope for the best, and things tend to improve...

Sadly I can't practice what I preach. Although my mental health has started to improve, my physical health has started going downhill. I've stopped regularly eating, at most a small meal in the evening, which I don't normally finish. whenever I do eat now I feel incredibly sick for about an hour after, and quite frankly I just don't want to eat anymore. Also I'm not hungry so that doesn't help. I've started feeling weak and been having dizzy spells for the last few days, and my balance and coordination have gotten much, much worse. I can't walk straight anymore, and usually I nearly fall over at least once a day. It's beginning to bug me now.

Still two weeks till my next Doctors appointment though, that sucks

[Lucinda]

I feel for you both, Jono and Nik. My illness is getting to me as well. The IBS is getting me down because I'm so bored of what I can eat and because of things like pancake day and Easter imminent and things I can't enjoy being everywhere. I mean to an extent I've got used to it but I still find it unfair and depressing.

It's weird how many physical symptoms you can get when your mental health is bad and it just spirals downwards. I've been struggling to eat lately too. Last night is the first time in ages I ate a proper evening meal and it was anxiety provoking but I managed to actually sit down and eat a meal with someone else. I don't know what to suggest really except eat small amounts of anything that you feel you can manage and try drinks with sugar in, fruit juice or milk if you can't manage solid food. Low blood sugar will make you feel dizzy and unbalanced.

I'm off the Diazepam again because I need to be able to concentrate. I don't feel too panicky today because I didn't spend very long on campus. The computer room where everyone works makes me feel sick and panicky after about 10 minutes in there, it's really bad. I just can't do any work at uni but when I'm at home I get distracted and also lonely.

The depression and anxiety gets worst in the evenings. Last night Strongbow Boy came round because he owed me food and we cooked a meal and watched a movie. I want to go out or do something... anything to distract me from how I feel. The counsellor said that everyone in my group keeps themselves busy so that we don't have to face up to what we're actually feeling and that we should let the bad feelings in or something and face them.

I can't help wondering if I'm going to feel this bad and anxious and ill for the rest of my life. Even if it's just on and off, it's a difficult thing to come to terms with.

[Guest CancerForTheCure]

Some of you may have heard on the news that yet another soldier died in Afghanistan. I have seen him a few times as he was my mum's friend's fiance. He was the only person that mattered in her life and I just cannot imagine what she must be going through right now - every time I saw her or spoke to her on the phone he was all she ever talked about. He was probably one of the nicest people out there. It's just so hard to believe when it's actually someone you know. There was absolutely no reason for him to die.

[cxx666]

Now this really sucks in my life right now........

I was accused of cheating by my now-ex with a girl from work. While I am 100% honest in saying I didnt cheat, I will happily admit that I thought she was absolutely gorgeous from the day I met her. In the month before the breakup, and since it, I've become good friends with this girl,. So much so that its got to the point where if I'm not with her all I can is think about her. I discovered a few weeks ago that it was common knowledge among the weekend and evening staff that I liked her. I chose to say nothing to her, but carried on talking to her all the time on text and sending occassionally flirty messages to eachother

In the last 2 weeks people have been telling me they thought she might have liked me back because to them it looked like she was givin off those signals when we were together, and th fact we've been out in our cars andto the cinema outside of work. So because of this I have made an extra effort to get her interested. I began to get suspicions myself when she told me she'd have come round and help me decorate my room if she hadn't been staying with a friend at the weekend, although it was hard to tell if that was a joke or not.

To cut a very long and confusing story short last night we were out with some people from work, and when I was giving her a lift home i decided to tell her. She initially seemed confused and we talked about it a little more, only for me to learn she had know for the last week how I feel but that she woudnt let it affect our friendship and she was glad i told her because she says im 1 of her best friends and would have wanted to know anyway. Everyone at work that I told today / last night have been surprisd and confused that she didnt say she felt the same

I am determined not to let it change anything either so i have been carrying on today as i did before, and she seems to be the same. However things took a strange turn when a simple joke comment about police uniforms evolved into us tellin eachother little bits about our "private" past, but not going into too much detail (I won't say any more because its a family forum ) We're gonna go out after she's finished college on friday for a while, and we're goin out with some people from work on saturday night so im gonna see how she is around me then but at the moment.

so in a nutshell, what sucks? getting mixed message from a girl, telling her how you feel and not hearing the same thing back

sorry for the extra long story there everyone

[KingTutsWWH]

Far too many people I loved and cared about have died recently. Just found out about yet another today. I suppose this is to be expected when you reach a certain age, but to me they all seemed so young. Feeling decidedly maudlin this afternoon, and that's putting it mildly.

[Lucinda]

Nati and Paula, I'm so sorry to hear about the people you know who've died.

so in a nutshell, what sucks? getting mixed message from a girl, telling her how you feel and not hearing the same thing back

This is sooooo the story of me and Strongbow Boy. Mixed signals for so long and everyone else thought there was something going on and then I told him how I felt and he didn't tell me how he feels. So eventually I asked and he said he was confused and needed more time. The difference is that he is really quite inexperienced in these things. So I made a move on him. I got a good reception at the time but we talked about it and he said he still didn't know what he felt. Then a week ago he said he just doesn't feel the same way and only likes me as a friend.

Anyhow. I have no regrets about making a move, I'm glad I did it because it's better than never knowing. I hope things turn out better for you. Sounds like this girl just hasn't made her mind up 100% whether she wants to take your friendship to the next level because there are some risks.

Right now, things are slightly on the up for me from a pretty low base.

[Viv]

I'm in a really bad mood today. And someone next to me keeps coughing, and getting on my f*** nerves.

[Nik B.]

The good news is that I've been eating more. The bad news is that my Dizzy spells aren't spells anymore and aren't going away. It kinda feels like a scary dream right now, and I'm not liking it. Very scared actually, I hate it when this happens... Oh yeah this kinda things happened before, just not for such a long period of time.