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cxx666

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Everything posted by cxx666

  1. Well I've given the alcohol a shot and it wasn't all that bad. I can easily live without it but at least I know I am able to do it if needs be. In time I'll come to agree that I'm well rid but for the time being she is still all I can think about. Its a ridiculous situation to be in, we've been apart for as long as we were seeing eachother now but every day I wake up with a sick feeling knowing I lost her and going it all over in my head about how if I'd just thought a bit more about the hangover and how bad it was that I may have been bumped up to boyfriend status already. I thought a bit about how I try and appear to others, particularly my image, and in all honesty I've tried to do what I can to be appealing to people and its got to the point where I'm not entirely sure what my image actually is any more. Maybe I tried to hard to look smart and presentable which contributed to me being dull. From having seen the guy she is with now, perhaps the trainers and hoody (ie real me) type is more what she likes on a day to day business. My mind still isn't a good place to be right now.
  2. Well I've given the alcohol a shot and it wasn't all that bad. I can easily live without it but at least I know I am able to do it if needs be. In time I'll come to agree that I'm well rid but for the time being she is still all I can think about. Its a ridiculous situation to be in, we've been apart for as long as we were seeing eachother now but every day I wake up with a sick feeling knowing I lost her and going it all over in my head about how if I'd just thought a bit more about the hangover and how bad it was that I may have been bumped up to boyfriend status already. I thought a bit about how I try and appear to others, particularly my image, and in all honesty I've tried to do what I can to be appealing to people and its got to the point where I'm not entirely sure what my image actually is any more. Maybe I tried to hard to look smart and presentable which contributed to me being dull. From having seen the guy she is with now, perhaps the trainers and hoody (ie real me) type is more what she likes on a day to day business. My mind still isn't a good place to be right now.
  3. Well less than 2 weeks after 'ditching' me she had started seeing someone else and according to Facebook he is now the boyfriend. I feel shit, all I can think about is her/us and what could have been while she has moved onto someone else so quickly, clearly she meant a lot more to me than I did to her. I remember on our 5th date, pretty much 5 weeks in, she told me normally she would be scared off at the prospect of getting serious but with me she didn't feel scared by it and how she had been talking to her friend about it only a couple nights before. I've been racking my brains to think about what I could have done and should have done not only on our last date but also in general to have made her want to be with me. I know I need to try and find hobbies or interests, I know I might need to consider becoming an occasional drinker, I know I need to learn to stop talking about work, I need some selling points, something that actually makes women want me. I'm too much of a safe option and I've paid the price by losing someone that very quickly meant a lot to me.
  4. Women really are a mystery DC. Over the last few days I've been able to piece together what I think my problem has been. As I said everything was fine on Friday night and initially on Saturday morning she was ok as well. However she said something to me about how her friends thought it was strange she'd be with someone as "straight edged" as me as she usually seems to go for the bad boy type, which to be honest came as a surprse to me as she always came across as thoughtful considerate etc and frankly too intelligent to go for those sorts. I made a joke about if I ever saw her with one of those I should just disappear, she said no and nothing moer was said about that. Fast forward to the tweets and there were 2 references over the weekend to me being a bus driver, and I remembered I had made a couple of comments relevant to our trip into town that were bus related, although I maintain they were appropriate to what we were doing at the time, and a joke about going to work for something to do this week before shows because i was bored and it wasn't taken as a joke. Her dating page has been changed from saying she wants a guy to bring her flowers to now saying that flower typ guys end up being boring. I think its safe to say that last week her friends took the decision that I was boring based on the fact I don't drink. Its a stupid attitude to take but sadly I have come across it many a time before, some people simply can't accept that someone can be sober and still have a good time. This then planted the idea in her head and the unfortunate combination of her being tired, badly hungover, and with womens problems, made her much more irritable and she picked up on what I'd said and came to the conclusion I had nothing going on in my life. I don't know why she didnt talk to me about it rather than just jumping ship, perhaps it was to try and spare my feelings I'll never know. I've tried to get in touch with her about it, she didn't answer the phone when I called and the following text explaining why I called was also ignored. I wanted to see if it was something that could be worked through but I'm having to accept that I'm not going to ever hear from her again. Its frankly ruined my fortnight off work and because of it all I'm really not looking forward to going back to work on Monday. I've had friends being supportive but I think the mess that my head is in is going to take a long time to get sorted out.
  5. Well I met someone about a month ago and we started dating, all was going well I thought, and it seemed to be until that suddenly changed yesterday. I don't use twitter but she told me she did, and told me her username which I remembered and I occasionally had a look at it and I saw she wrote nice things about our dates. However yesterday was different, it was clear she wasn't in a good mood when we were on our date as she was very hungover and had hardly any sleep. So i took to twitter when she nipped off to use the phone and say she had been bitching about me to the world. My crime? Simply doing what we had originally planned to do when she would rather have stayed in her bed, which she gave me absolutely no indication she wanted to do. So she left a lot earlier than planned yesterday due to her phonecall and I didnt hear from her this morning which was unusual, although deep down I knew that it wasn't going to have any other result. She had made up her mind either yesterday or today that it was to end and when we spoke on facebook she was reasonably decent about it, I'm not ready for a relationship, you're a lovely guy but I'm not right for you etc etc, however she then gloated about it on twitter later so I told her I knew about what had been written there. I've no doubt she no longer considers me to be a lovely guy and her latest one on there which was aimed at me was without a doubt anger and hate laiden. I just wish I knew what had caused the sudden change of feeling about me, I think something happened when she was out on Friday night but I guess I'll never know.
  6. Well the passengers who had offended me in particular were all relatively minor things, although one really pissed me off, it was just because they'd all happened in the space of 2 or 3 days it really wound me up. First one, stupid old woman doesn't grasp the idea of a "set down" point, ie you drop off but don't pick up. I'd nipped into a pub at a terminus to use the toilet before setting off again, and when I came out she was standing at it wanting on. I politely explained she'd need to cross to the stop to board and that I couldn't pick her up, a journey of 15 meters, while I went around the roundabout. Then she wants to know what is wrong with where we already are, and again I explain that we don't pick up there. She then walks off in the direction of houses, presumable in a huff with me. Second one, I'm at a hospital at a terminus and an old woman wouldn't wait till I had gone to the toilet before boarding. It was a nice day and in the middle of the afternoon but she still wanted to know why she couldn't "just come on". I couldn't be bothered arguing with her but when I returned I was stomping about and slamming doors to make it exceptionally clear to her I was not amused one little bit by her impatience. Had it been wet or at night yes I'd see she had a point, but I don't like having people on board if I'm not on board or in the immediate area. Thirdly, the main one. I'm just about to pull away when I see someone running up the middle of the road to get me. He wasn't far, and he was sprinting so being the (generally) nice driver that I am I waited a few seconds for him. He gets on board but starts hanging about the doorway, so I ask what the hold up is, then he asks me to wait on someone who is just coming. I ask where they are and he points at someone who is a good 3 possibly even 4 bus lenghts away just casually strolling up to the stop. I tell him she'll need to get a move on, he shouts out at her to run but the whole time blocks me from being able to shut the doors and drive off, which frankly is what I was going to do because he had pissed me off so much. All in all I think I lost about 2 or 3 minutes with all this carry on. That might not sound like a long time, but when its the middle of the afternoon time isn't always easy to gain back and there comes a point that you can be so late that you just know its only going to get worse. I think this filming thing is a security measure, our dedicated airport buses have an addidional camera in the cab and I'm positive its because those are the ones that give change and the rest don't. It works for at least 3 areas that I can think of. Firstly it can help to combat/prove theft on the drivers part. Secondly it can be used in circumstances like Little Miss Jakey to show whether they are infact at it when they claim they've given the driver something they haven't. Thirdly, because the driver has access to cash they could find themselves being robbed and the more cameras you have in different positions the greater the chance of the theif being identified. I've actually got a shot at the airport run in the last few weeks, I quite enjoy it although the paperwork and extra responsibility involved in cash handling is something that makes me glad I'm only making guest appearances on it when they want to add a touch of glamour to the route
  7. Yea, he was stuck in a vicious cycle and went downhill rapidly. His teeth were bothering him so the vet was going to pull the problem ones, but then it was discovered he had kidney failure and the vet wouldn't put him under because he simply wouldnt come round afterwards. He gave us medication to try and help treat it but that had to be taken with food and he wasnt eating because he couldn't so he was simply wasting away. I took him there on Tuesday for the final time but I got to the house and simply put him in his basket and left. I felt bad doing it that way but I didnt want to hang about and delay the inevitable. When I saw him on Monday though he was unsteady and having to almost drag his back half around. We could have kept him alive longer but he would have simply wasted away and it would have been humiliating for him the worse he got, we wanted him to die with as much dignity as possible. Even though me and my brother had moved out he was still considered a family pet, I don't know how bad it must have been for Mum and Dad this last few days because he was the only one of "their boys" who was still there.
  8. Our cat had to be put to sleep on Tuesday. I'm sick of the general public thinking I'm being unreasonable at work, and I'm also sick of the general public taking the piss and holding me up through their selfish behaviour. I'm currently on day 5 of a 12 day stretch. I should be going to the gym but I just don't have the drive this week.
  9. To be fair I think the reason its survived this long is because Viv loves to get things off her chest
  10. I'd have written it here, but I think going to this page would just make it a lot easier to understand https://www.gov.uk/speed-limits Its interesting you say that if it is too fast its not good enough, unfortunatey I have experience that even a low speed accident can still be rather nasty.
  11. I have been there enough times to know the place, and I stand by my original statement. I make no secret of being a city type, the countryside as far as I am concerned is that nasty place you've gotta go through to get from civilised area to civilised area. The reason a lot of country roads are national speed limit is because it means you can get through it quicker
  12. This actually came as a huge comfort to me, the aunt that I mentioned further up the page lives on that backward little island. The power cuts resulted in no internet and thus she was unable to pester me by either taking issue with anything I had written, or annoy me with her seemingly endless postings about how she hates the government and anything to do with them.
  13. GJ94 I don't think its unfair to say I wish Grimshaw's existence wasn't something we had to put up with, out of curiosity how can you describe my feelings on someone as being a "massive exaggeration"? I'd have liked to have had Greg or Scott as his successor. People who are fit to host a major show on one the biggest stations in the UK, not someone from this self appointed cool and faddish crowd we seem to have been lumbered with. I wasn't keen on Matt Edmonson to begin with either but I have managed to develop a tolerance of him mainly due to the fact I think there is an element of parody with his show, I'd even have been able to get used to that, but I'm sorry Grimshaw is not someone I am willing to endure on anything whether it be tv or radio.
  14. Well I'm glad to see that Sony have (for the time being anyway) had the brains not to give breakfast anything. As much as I miss Moyles and the team, I accept they're gone now and that things move on even though the show still had a couple years life left in it yet. The problem time and time again comes down to his successor being someone who is unfit to have a show of that level. I absolutely cannot bear Grimshaw and frankly the fact that he walks the planet is saddening. He, and Radio 1 just come across as a bit fake to me now. The name dropping and obsession with the current big thing is ridiculous, particularly when you consider it will no doubt be replaced by some equally talentless or pointless creatures once their 15 minutes of fame is up. Most people seem to think this breakfast issue is all about getting Moyles back, but many don't take notice of the fact that is it manly a problem a lot of us have with Grimshaw and what he represents.
  15. I've spoken to a few guys about it and its definitly a noticeable thing where the women are concerned, although I would imagine you probably look more towards the guys so might not necessarily take much notice of the breasted types. Sadly though we've gotta take the rough with the smooth, for every solar powered woman out and about in the summer there are many troads, golden deceivers and such like. I'll never forget one woman I saw one day when I was working, 5ft 3/4ish, really slim, tight purple coat, skinny jeans and knee high boots on. As I approached I was thinking ooooh hello, only for her to turn round and probably be old enough to be my mum. I felt violated lol.
  16. Oh yes, I've seen a fair few solar powered women about town the last few days. Good times.
  17. I think its safe to say there won't be any family get togethers where my Mum's sister is concerned for quite some time (not that we're the type that do "get togethers" anyway). She is exceptionally forthright with her opinions on facebook, as am I. The difference being that I know where to hold my tongue where some people are concerned. A few weeks ago she was trying to provoke a row with me to do with the government (to long to explain how it started) and stupidly I rose to it but decided to delete it all and sent a private message explaining Mum wouldn't want to read us arguing, her response was pretty short. Then this evening she starts another one with me, decided to misinterpret a status where I questioned why some guys think shouting to women in the street is gonna get their interest, and I said I notice it seems to be done usually by tradesmen and people at the lower end of the social scale. She decides to get abusive to me saying I'm calling tradesmen members of the lower classes even though I didn't. Phoned Mum to let her know she was kicking off again just incase she read it and thought we were continuing our argument from before, and fortunately I've got her full backing because she understood exatly what I meant and could see my aunt was just trying to look for trouble.
  18. In that respect I'm quite fortunate that I have a flatmate who has no intentions of going anywhere else. I sub let to her and without wanting to big myself up too much I'm a pretty good "landlord", she's behind on the rent but I'm not harassing her at the moment because I know a lot of uni stuff is going on right now so hasn't got much time to get to the benefits office and get everything sorted. I plan on looking at buying a 2 bedroom place mid 2014 and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't need to look for someone for the second room unless she is living with the boyfriend at this point. More long term though I'm also pretty unsure whats going to happen love life and living wise. This whole it comes when you don't look for it is a load of nonsense, if you're single and wish you weren't then I think at the back of your mind you're always looking. I've stopped listening to those who say it'll come when I don't expect it, although someone at work today said to me that if I don't make it glaringly obvious I'm single then it could actually help. I can see where she is coming from but I'm worried that someone may be interested one day but because she doesn't know I'm single she might not actually make her interest known. Tricky one to balance that. As for not having anyone to talk about it with I have the same problem. My flatmate knows its really getting to me, and I've spoken to her about it quite a bit but I don't want to go on about it all the time. As for other friends, I don't really feel able to talk to guys about it on the rare occassion I see them and another of my female friends keeps saying we never see eachother etc but we never get round to making plans to catch up. I could probably talk to my brother about it, but he's dealing with his own depression/loneliness and self esteem issues at the moment so I'm being careful not to "steal his thunder" so to speak.
  19. The friend who wants to make me over has said I need to become more friendly and cheery actually, apparently my rants on facebook come across as grumpy and moany (even thought I've said time and time again they're tongue in cheek and should be read in the style of Jack Dee or Rhod Gilbert). Annoyingly the only friend who seems to wanna get me out and actually help me meet someone out and about is my flatmate and the problem I have there is even though we;re only friends, she is female and I'm male so if we're out somewhere together it may well look like we're together
  20. I'd need to have a good look at all my neighbours before I made any decisions like that, although its been a considerable time since I last did any bedroom gymnastics so the chances of me suddenly deciding to have a crack at a neighbour are a little unlikely. I've got a friend wanting to give me a mini makeover although I'm terrified at the thought of what she has planned for me, and my flatmate telling me she thinks I'd make good boyfriend material for someone so annoyingly my problem seems to be catching their eye. I'm by no means a stunner but when I look at some of the guys out there with nice looking girls by their side it does make me wonder how some manage to find people and I can't :\
  21. Still getting sore after visits to the gym, although its nowhere near as bad now as it was. Also, now well into the first month of me being single for 4 years, bad times bad times
  22. My muscles have never been so sore. Got a personal trainer at my gym and its a bit of a shock to the system.
  23. Best change: Fearne's temporary absence while she's off squeezing a baby out. I don't have much time for her, she is an adult whose on air persona is similar to that of a child and I don't like this pandering to teen fads business which she is rather guilty of I'm afraid. I've also warmed to Sara in a big way over the last couple of years so its quite nice to hear her on the radio a bit more often. Worst change: Without a doubt the farce that has been the breakfast show change. I'm not Grimshaw bashing for the sake of it, I genuinely can't stand him and have thought he was unbearable even when he was doing his night time show and I used to accidently catch bits and pieces of it. I was, and still am, a huge fan of Moyles and think its absolutely disgusting the way he was binned off simply because they think they'll get more idiot kids listening if they have an equally idiotic presenter. Don't get me wrong, I know the day would come where he would either leave or get dumped, I just think they should have got a far far more capable and normal person as his replacement. I've not listened to the show at all since it changed, the closest I ever got was Tina at the start one day doing the news but then it went off. Sorry, but I have a higher intelligence than that.
  24. Only now starting to feel 100% after picking up the winter vomit bug / Norovirus last week. Thursday evening/night was spent in the bathroom, Friday I had very little energy and was feeling very unsteady when I went for a walk down my street and Saturday/Sunday were general aches and pains. Had to take a couple days off work, definitely not like me at all. Hopefully now seen the back of it.
  25. Well I was looking forward to meeting up with a few friends at a house party type event, however there is someone who I am getting a bit of unwanted attention from at the moment and she text me saying it looks like we're going to the same party. Now my night has gone from catching up with friends to trying to avoid being near the girl but also not wanting to be a dick to her and spoil the night as well as dreading when the clock strikes midnight. Not sure how to approach the subject with friends either for fear of sounding big headed. Working in the morning of the 1st though so won't be having a particularly late one.
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