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What sucks in your life?


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I've gone and got myself the beginnings of a niiice sickness bug two days before my last exam! Well done Emma! I'm all shivery, then red hot, then feel as if I'm going to throw up, then I'm okay for a bit, then I'm all cold again, eurghgh.

Awww :( It's so easy to get poorly just before the exams. I hope it goes away soon. Take 2 paracetamol just before your exam, it'll make you feel better for long enough to do the exam, and try to get plenty of sleep too.

I've got a headache at the moment and feel so tired but reckon I won't be able to sleep tonight which is annoying because I've got a 9am exam.

'Forget happiness I'm fine, I'll forget everything in time'

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1 of my so called "friends" sucks.

Firstly I was properly screwed over when it came to my best friend, who I have very strong feelings for. I discovered last week that contrary to my initial thoughts, it was my friend who asked her out dispite the fact I had told them just days before I would never make a move on someone they liked because friends are important to me. I would have expected them to extend the same courtesy to me, particularly as they knew I had been trying so hard to find out what she liked in a guy so I could do whatever it took to get her attention, changing image, more outgoing, weight loss etc. They let me carry on with all this for a good week before I found out something was going on between them and this also was a factor in them going down in my estimation.

As much as I've tried not to for the sake of the girl I now feel myself resenting them more and more every day. If anyone treated me the way she had been treated by my "friend" i'd have binned them off long before now. They seem to be incapable of telling the whole truth with anyone including their girlfriend.

Over the last couple of weeks she's been on the phone/text/msn almost daily telling me all about the stress and upset she's had. Nights out get spoilt becase her other half has too much to drink and she ends up having to look after them and stop them getting in to trouble, they were found to be telling lies about who they talking to and why they were going off to meet people, she told me that at the weekend they admitted they had told lies to their friends about why they werent talking to them, and seems to think that acting like a child will let them get away with all of this.

I have a suspicion they think I'm trying to come between the pair of them. The girl has been coming to me for a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk things over with and I think this has got my "friend's" back up. Last week when I asked if she was happy with things being sorted out between them she said she was but could tell I wasnt, I told her that its between them but she said she still wants to know what I have to say on it all.

It angers me so much to see someone get treated this way, and it is only made worse because she is my best friend, and also because I know that I would treat her so much better if I was ever lucky enough to be going out with her. I just wish there was something I could do to make things better for her.

You may have also noticed I've been saying "friend". This is because I dont know if I can, or even want to, consider them as a friend any more

Not impressed with censorship

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Been a year today since my best friend Beth died... Just got back from visiting the grave. Someone put a congratulations balloon on the grave.... why would someone do that?? Bit down today... Me and Clara cried lots when we were at the grave. Beth's mum gave us the job of sorting out the flowers and getting rid of the balloon... SHe also told us to have a can of black label for Beth as it was her favorite drink.

Kitty <3

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That's pretty expensive. You'd think they'd be prepared to pay for it.

What sucks is I feel ill and I'm still on a downward spiral. I feel like I'm annoying my friends and pushing them away because of how I feel about myself. I just feel worse and worse about myself and can't seem to turn things round.

'Forget happiness I'm fine, I'll forget everything in time'

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Ditto to all of the above. And I mean ALL of the above.

trust dc to get it bang on.

Been a year today since my best friend Beth died... Just got back from visiting the grave. Someone put a congratulations balloon on the grave.... why would someone do that?? Bit down today... Me and Clara cried lots when we were at the grave. Beth's mum gave us the job of sorting out the flowers and getting rid of the balloon... SHe also told us to have a can of black label for Beth as it was her favorite drink.

thats awful. i still think about a friend i lost over 3 years ago now, every day.

on the grid.

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My sleeping pattern is completely messed up, I didn't get to sleep until 4 this morning and then I just had a really long nightmare about exams. I ended up sitting three at once, some of them weren't even subjects I do and all the results got posted for everyone to see. I know this should be a wakeup call to get my arse into gear but I still don't have enough motivation.

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My sleeping pattern is completely messed up, I didn't get to sleep until 4 this morning and then I just had a really long nightmare about exams. I ended up sitting three at once, some of them weren't even subjects I do and all the results got posted for everyone to see. I know this should be a wakeup call to get my arse into gear but I still don't have enough motivation.

i had the same trouble until the start of last week when i finally got my sleeping pattern back in order, i hate missing out the entire days. thank god i have got it back to normal though, becuase i'm working in telford all next week and i have to be there from 8 in the morning. 6.30 rise for me if i want to beat the traffic then!

although i have my sleeping pattern back to normal i do still have the strange dreams. i dreamt the other night that my cousin was asking me if nicolas anelka could lend £200 from me, and i just remember saying that he dosen't need it because he plays for chelsea and earns lots of money.

on the grid.

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I think stress causes weird dreams. Several of my friends have described having weird dreams to me lately. I've had dreams where I've woken up late. Last night I had a dream where my parents had invited me and a load of my friends round for dinner at 8pm but it was 11pm and my friends just weren't bothered about getting to my parents' house and I was frantically trying to get them to go there because I knew my mum would be angry if we didn't show up.

What else sucks... Got an exam at 9am on Saturday. Some people have finished already and most of my friends finish next Thursday, but I've got another week and 2 more exams after that, so everyone will be out celebrating and I won't.

Oh and everyone seems to be getting ill. I feel pretty awful, have managed to go 2 days now without paracetamol but my stomach is playing up and the reflux and IBS are getting annoying. I could go to the doctor but I know there's nothing he can do so I'm stuck on a really boring diet and hoping it sorts itself out.

'Forget happiness I'm fine, I'll forget everything in time'

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right.... As some of you are aware, I've recently been made homeless. I'm OK btw, got a roof over my head and food to ewat, but I'm staying with my nan till I get my own place sorted, so don't have an internet connection, Still a geek, just a no-tech one for now =]

I have had to cancel my planned trip to Alton Towers this weekend though, which as you can imagine, is a massive blow.

See you all soon, Nik =][=

Nik B.

Born to Toads.

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