Rylan and Scott

[DC]

sarcastic or true, depending on your experience.

It's seemingly time for me to drastically change my ways in life. I've spent 22 or so years of it being the nice guy, not perfect because nobody is, but getting along by trying to be honest and respectful. And admit my mistakes and when i'm wrong.

Sadly it dosen't of seem to have gotten me far, if anywhere at all come to think of it.

So if your anything like me and want to do better, it seems you have to...

Step 1:- Buy a stupid fucking hat just like Dappy from N-Dubz wears (make sure it has strings). And adopt a wannabe 'bad boy mentality', just like Katy B "sang" about.

Just as long as you don't end up in jail according to Katy, you should be able to get away with everything else then!

Step 2:- Walk around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment and act like a bad man. Maybe start a fight when there's apsolutley no need to, and constantly look for trouble.

Step 3:- Walk/Hop around like you've got a brick in your fucking shoe.

Step 4:- Completley drop the nice/honest/being yourself (unless you are already a bell end) type thing when your trying to pull a girl, and act like a fucking twat who's gonna cause her nothing but misery for the rest of her life.

Step 5:- Try to sleep with her sister/best mate at some point if you get into a relationship with the girl in question. And hide it... badly.

Step 6:- If you get her pregnant, don't stick around to help. Use the classic excuse "it's not you... it's me". Then repeat step 4 with another girl (above).

Step 7:- Adopt a certain way of talking. Like your some sort of failing rapper who's still trying to live the dream, for example use words like

"innit", "blood/blad", "you get me star?", and others to that effect. Refer to Dappy from N-dubz for more on this.

Step 8:- Don't ever use grammar, you don't want to put across any self respect. Start typin n talkin like dis innit cos it makes me luk lyk a bad man g! ... and so fourth.

Well there you have it. If I ever snap at some point and start using the above steps i'll let you know how it works before someone kills me for being a prick.

end

add to this or add your own rules.

[MrDoovdeHaxorz]

I can name quite a few who follow these exact rules, some famous (footballers, a certain overrated F1 driver, etc).

I will say it's true that being nice etc hasn't really got me anywhere, (except for constantly screwed over that is, which makes me legitimately angry, anger that gets directed straight at the t*** causing it) which makes these 'rules' ring true. I can't say I know many 'nice', law abiding etc people who got anywhere from it.

[DC]

agreed. there's so many bad examples in the celebrity world, and many seem that obsessed with them they can be influenced heavily by them. especially young people growing up.

i wouldn't want things to go back to how they were in the 50's and 60's. but when my grandad was my age it seemed a lot easier to get along in life just acting yourself, being a generally honest and sincere guy. there's no denying society has lost so many positive values since then, and that makes me sad and angry.

[Viv]

God, I am seriously impressed by the above post. Among today's crazy young loons, here is someone great.

[DC]

i was pissed off and angry as i usually am these days and decided to re-write my about me section on my bacefook. i need to be in that mode to come up with it and express it properly, but i look upon it in another mood and another time and realise it's still very true.

[TheEpicPlum]

I use innit all the time. So does my mum.

No one at my school does. Fucking posh twats.

[DC]

well as long as you don't walk around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment, and beat people up for no reason.

[Behelzebub]

My rule of getting through life? Don't develop OCD.

[TheEpicPlum]

I tell myself that 252.5252 times a day, as I tap my head with my left index finger. I've also been to see the doctor every second Tuesday the moon is on the left hemisphere to make sure I haven't developed it, and I wash my hands 52 times a day to make sure I don't catch it.

Yeah.

[MrDoovdeHaxorz]

My rule lately is give up on happiness and hope.

[franzi]

These rules definitely don't apply around here. If someone behaves like this, they probably get quite far around my age, where everyone who drinks/swears/behaves like a tw*t seems to be liked and admired. However, when getting older, this doesn't work anymore. People aged 20 and above prefer "normal" people who are just being themselves and nice. They want to have honest people around them, not ones who behave like sh*t...

[Lee.]

Step 3:- Walk/Hop around like you've got a brick in your fucking shoe.

This sums up alot of areas around Leicester!!!

[DC]

i hate to be so negative, but the midlands is very suspect to this. peoples attitude around here and expectations border on the unbelievable. and when you think you've found a decent girl, there seems to be no way in. and if you develop a relationship, there seems to be some sort of bizarre problem that you couldn't make up in your wildest dreams along the line.

[MrDoovdeHaxorz]

and when you think you've found a decent girl, there seems to be no way in. and if you develop a relationship, there seems to be some sort of bizarre problem that you couldn't make up in your wildest dreams along the line.

AMEN. Totally feeling that, like literally right now...

[DC]

people have faults no matter who they are, nobody's perfect. but as i mentioned above, the acceptance level for a 'decent human being' around here is very very low it seems.

it's hard for me to explain in some ways, but it's like i'm running out of options and time. i can feel my mind giving up on the idea of finding a decent girl who i could build a life with, i believe in myself and i know i'm a good person so i don't feel so much pain about it now. i'm sort of concentrating on other things in my life like my friends, and sort of hoping the right girl will see me having fun and being myself. problem is apart from the odd dark patch in my life i'm mostly like that anyway, and nothing came along back then either.

and yet i step back from that and look at it all in a bigger picture, that's when i realise that i don't want to drift into ignorance. i know i'll find it sad that i'm going to be 40 years old at some point, coming home to myself if i don't sort it out. when i have a lot of time, love & effort to give someone.

[MrDoovdeHaxorz]

i have a lot of time, love & effort to give someone.

I find whenever I do try to give that out etc, it's always to someone who doesn't actually want it... and the ones who DO are ones I don't want to give to or don't deserve it.

Now... I'm not sure I have anything like that left anymore thanks to experience, which also tells me not to bother.

[Viv]

Thanx for providing me with a number of hoots this morning !! seriously tho, hope things work out and u find gals with only one head, two arms and two legs.

[MrDoovdeHaxorz]

gals with only one head, two arms and two legs.

Wow that sounds like my perfect woman! Do you know any like this you can put us in touch with? I was beginning to think they didn't exist

DrippingWithDeliciousSarcasm.com

[Timsk]

I've found in the past that some of the best things to happen arrive when you're not remotely looking for them...

And don't ALL people of the fairer sex have two heads anyway?! :* [ducks]