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Unofficial Mills

What sucks in your life?


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Not really a big moan, but whever I see 1 of my friends she seems to be informing me of "gossip" which I don't know anything about nor have any interest in.

The other day she wouldn't shut up about someone who caught her eye over the weekend and I got the whole story there, including the details of the inevitible dramas. Yesterday I was getting all sorts of stories about how she'd been off on a date with that person and had ended up going back and having a lot of fun blah blah blah. At least she acknowledged that she tells me details about her love life etc and when I give advice its almost always ignored.

Don't get me wrong, shes a nice girl and I don't grudge her a love life at all. Its just she always seems to meet people who have baggage or ends up running into problems with them very early on. I've said to try and be single for a while and just have fun, but like I said, its advice which falls on deaf ears

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I can see why though she doesn't try that though, being single sucks big hairy donkey balls...

I know it does, I've been single for over 2 and a half years and in that space of time I've had virtually no interest/attention from the opposite sex.

My problem is that this is almost every month, someone new will come along and she'll get really into them only for dramas etc to start very early on. I've lost count of the number of times I've said to her if shes having problems after only having just met the person then its not a good sign and mabey she should just call it a day. I know from experience the gay/lesbian world can be a rather bitchy and bitter place when things start to go wrong, possibly more so than the straight world.

I just think there comes a time when someone has to perhaps put a hold on getting involved with the emotions of a relationship and concentrate on enjoying themselves and having a bit more fun, be it the physical side of things or just having a good time with friends. Not that I'm saying give up on love and be only out for 1 thing, but just to take some time out, away from the stresses of relationships and enjoy being single.

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I keep overthinking things and all I am now able to see is how I'm being screwed over constantly... all that is missing is the why, but then there is ALWAYS something vital missing, either something conveniently omitted from what I'm told (or sometimes a blatent lie)... such as why I'm apparently NOT ALLOWED to have ANY of the very things I might actually ever want in life, only stress, hassle and endless shit... when good things DO happen, I soon feel like I'm being punished with double doses of shit. What did I do to deserve that? and why do I bother continuing with any of it?

There's also that feeling I can't shake that even worse is coming... it's like living the NOTW thing...

Professional eater of puppy dogs, baby heads and killer of grannies...

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No I'm straight, but I've had lesbian and bisexual friends and at 1 point I was very close to a lesbian couple, so close infact that I think the only time I wasn't doing things with them was when they were in the bedroom haha.

I'm no longer friends with the couple and they're no longer together either, but when I was friends with them, I would hear stories from them about other girls they knew, and when they had fall outs and eventually broke up it was rather bitchy and bitter, more so than any straight relationship I've ever seen.

Perhaps its unfair for me to throw gays into the same catergory like I did to begin with, as my experience is just with the lesbian side of things, I just assumed it might have been similar there as well.

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Dating sites... if you don't meet anyone, you can at least get a good laugh at the strange profiles on there.

I know it doesn't help much when you have a broken heart though :(

Umm well I don't have a job any more, but that's the thing with temping, I'll hopefully get something new soon. I'm struggling a bit with insecurity about things at the moment. That and I feel like I'm going to pass out sometimes. I actually did pass out while I was in Australia, not really sure why, so the dizziness worries me when it comes on.

'Forget happiness I'm fine, I'll forget everything in time'

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I thought/hoped this weekend would sorta help with the way I've felt lately... what should have been a good weekend has gone spectacularly south and made me feel even worse and reminded me of the endless pain, so yeah... thanks life. I give all and all I ever GET lately is pain. If it's not physical it's emotional and I'm bloody sick of it. The Moral of my life seems to be NEVER have hope, because it will ALWAYS be crushed. Every. Goddamn. Motherfucking. Time.

It's not so much a feeling of being under a cloud (or if it is, it's a big one that stretches far beyond the horizon) but more like being suffocated under a really big pillow... all I know for sure is that if that continues, I'm just going to let it ALL end... sick of the uphill battle and it's already sapped the strength I had. This is where I quit now. I hate this whole situation where I'm Right and there's nothing Left for me...

Professional eater of puppy dogs, baby heads and killer of grannies...

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I'm about to change jobs (driving test permitting) and its not really felt that strange till today. My manager mentioned at work this morning that this may well be my last week, and its only now started to feel very real.

Having said that i'm becoming increasingly nervous about the theory test as well. I was told i have training for a week then have to sit it. I've not touched anything on hazard perception simply because i don't know what cdroms are up to date. I assume the hazards will be similar for a bus as to a car, but with the obvious extras like bridges/tunnels and narrow roads thrown in.

I just keep having to try and remind myself that the personel department have told me that its only a small percentage of drivers don't actually make it through their training.

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Well, it's summer and all that.. wooo! But I have to babysit my brothers for the rest of the week, and for a few more weeks.

So far today, one tried to kill the other, there's been 2 arguements and now the littlest is saying that he hates the other, and refuses to come into the house until the other one leaves. And none of them will have lunch, and the one in the garden is still in pjamamas and won't get changed because he doesn't want to go into the house etc. etc

I was meant to go out with my friends today, but i'm stuck at home with the devil children. Story of my life.

The sheep is not a creature of the air.

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