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Unofficial Mills

4th May to 10th May 2008

Jono

By Jono
in The Scott Mills Show

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Danishgirl

Danishgirl

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I picked up a free magazine at our school yesterday and there was something about weird stuff you can buy on the internet. What about a tea-table that's an exact map of Baghdad?

Il n'y a qu'un devoir, c'est d'être heureux; il ny'a qu'une vertu, c'est la justice -Denis Diderot

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Danishgirl

Danishgirl

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I worked in Boots when I was a student and someone returned a faulty lady shaver and it had hairs on it - no joke! Disgusting!:puke:

Eew, that's gross!

Il n'y a qu'un devoir, c'est d'être heureux; il ny'a qu'une vertu, c'est la justice -Denis Diderot

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Monitorabbit

Monitorabbit

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Oh god yes - I worked Saturdays in the fashion department of a well known department store when I was a student, and a lady returned trousers with a faulty zip - however she had obviously worn them commando and not washed them before bringing them back.

Wouldn't have minded so much, but the zip had only broken because she had bought a size too small in the first place. :grrr:

UM is a nice place

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Kitai

Kitai

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Or just:

Dog Poo.

The ad reads:

"Fresh unused dog poo ready for immediate collection. 100% Guaranteed to be untouched by human hands.

This poo is from a healthy German Shepherd dog and is brown in colour. there are no worms or fungus growing in it. It is firm and is in a pile. It can be moulded into different shapes and is guaranteed to stink to high heaven if you try cooking it in your oven.

The successful winner of this luxury dog poo will get a free bag of dog poo with our compliments.

Your dog poo will be handed to you in a doggy poo bag.

Collection in person only.

I am selling this dog poo as I am a university student and I need to buy food for my family (i'm a mature student) and my dog. The fees are really high and I need every penny i can get.

Of course I am hoping that some rich benefactor will buy it in order to help me pay my tuition fees for 2008/9 as I am a mature law student with a growing family - I hope you enjoyed my listing - please feel free to email me your comments - rude or otherwise!!!"

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Kitai

Kitai

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Dog Poo! WTF??

Yep. The real deal.

The questions on the page:

"Q: hi can you tell me if it comes with pebbles attached?

A: Yes, we can send the dog poo with some attached pebbles but this will be subject to surcharge of 12p per pebble - if you are lucky enough to win please state the amount of pebbles you wanted included in your purchase - thank you.

Q: thank god for ebayers .. i really need some runny stuff, if you were to feed the animal some weetabix or curry would it moist enough to place into a jiffy anti smell bag and post somewhere.. several people over the years have chosen by default this.

A: Sorry, we don't condone cruelty to animals -- however, we would happily mix it up with some water until runny but we cannot post - can you imagine the bag breaking on the postman!? It would be very messy!! Happy Bidding

Q: Wow!! Quality stock you have there, however I was wandering if you stock the type with a foot print in the middle? Thanks

A: Yes, your luck is in. We also stock this 'product' in the type with a footprint in. We dp a selection of different fottprints from welly boots to high heels. Happy bidding

Q: Hi, do you have this item in any other colour. Thanks

A: Hi, Thank - you for your question and interest in our item. It is possible to get this type of poo in white - however it does need to be left for some time to 'weather' unfortunately we havn't got any weathered poo in stock at this time. However, if you would like to place an order and pay we shall instigate proceedings for the weathering of our poo. We can assure you that we are not fly by night cowboys who would take your money and send you something that we found on the street corner that had been there for a while - we would produce said poo ourselves and take great pride as the country's leading pooateirs. We could supply red poo but this invovles kicking the dog really hard which is a course of action we frown upon. Good luck in your search if our poo is not suitable for your purposes."

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Jono

Jono

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Urgh am I being unreasonable by taking a friend to see Jimmy Carr when I ordered tickets in February. My girlfriend says it's inconsiderate. But she wasn't there then!

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