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Life In The Day of an Animal

Kelly

By Kelly
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Kelly

Kelly

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Typical Dog's Diary Entry

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My

favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Typical Cat's Diary Entry

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the carpet. Today I decapitated mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could not hear the noises and smell the food. I heard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around their feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog recieves special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

I just got sent this, and it made me giggle muchly. :D

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KingTutsWWH

KingTutsWWH

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This really appealed! Very funny.

Brought to mind Stewie the scarey baby on Family Guy!

He's definitely the best character. HOW those Yank writers came up with a homicidal baby complete with screamingly camp Noel Coward accent, is beyond me.

Then again talking dogs are pretty thin on the ground too.

;)

'To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity'.

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Eyl9

Eyl9

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They appear to be. Mine like to lay across my keyboard when I'm trying to work. It's bley annoying!

My cat sits and watched my screen and trys to hit the cursor as I move it around. It keeps stealing clothes from my room too and dragging them downstairs.

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KingTutsWWH

KingTutsWWH

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Only 1 entry in my dog's diary for today.

Didn't know whether to send this to Most Embarrasing thread or here. He does have a habit of doing the following:

12.30pm Having a walk. Oh look, really posh restaurant. Owner's back is turned. Think I need to evacuate my bowels on it's doorstep, as opposed to over there where she won't have to scoop it up with numerous plastic bags. Hmm looks like I had a curry yesterday! Eugh. Still gagging

Love him dearly though.:)

'To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity'.

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