Capital Summertime Ball 2024

[Jono]

Alright my lovers? Here's the first of our new scheme to keep you informed, whilst giving us a bit of a break for the rest of the week. It's the show diary, letting you know what's been happening over the last week!

On Monday's (22/10) show the team were on a bit of a downer after the result of the Rugby World Cup. Don't ask me who was playing, I didn't pay much attention, all I know is that Phil Vickery was the captain. And that's led to even more confusion for those who aren't sports fans as Scott presumed he was the bloke off This Morning that married Fearne Britton. Turns out they just have the same name. It was also pointed out that the other team - South Africa, I'm told - had a better kick start before the game. They had Nelson Mandela giving them some prolific words. Who did England get? Denise Van Outen. You'd have thought Phil Vickery could have got the agony aunt Denise instead. She's always good with words. But no, we got the woman from the Morrisons advert.

There also appears to be some sort of trend on the Flirt Divert hotline this week, as some bloke has just shaved his head for a girl. How romantic. Having a bit of a Britney moment I guess, but I can't imagine it was a hit with the ladies. Oh and Scott's found a new website - songforsomeone.com - that'll do a personalised song for your partner or loved one for a small fee. They are really something quite special. No longer do you need to try out your rubbish music playing skills when you've got this website. The lyrics are already written, so the hard work is done for you, and they just put in the name you want. Brilliant. <a href="http://www.unofficialmills.co.uk/communities/showpost.php?p=217337&postcount=1">Listen back to Monday's highlights here.</a>

Moving on to Tuesday's (23/10) show and Scott's been having ear problems recently. Some might argue he's had them for the whole of his life, but I'm no meanie, so I'll leave the jokes aside. No, he's got an ear infection. But Scott's realised their might just be people worse off than him in life. Take for example the sports reporter called Earl Robinson on a local station in Michigan. He's had the hiccups for a week, and he just can't shift them. Brilliant way to have a day off though. But it seems to be a common symptom for radio presenters, which is worrying Chappers a lot. Even Zane had them the other day.

But if you want a bit of karma in your life, perhaps you should join a new club that's begun in America - it's the 'No Cussing Club', set up by a group of fourteen year old kids. Scott's joined, and he gets an orange 'No Cussing Club' t-shirt, which Chappers argues will be camouflage for him. You even get a certificate, off of the 90s! And not only that, but they've made a rap too. It's truly something special. Check out the video on YouTube. Scott encourages children and listeners to go to school tomorrow and start a similar club. I'm not too sure it'll go down that well.

And proof all Harry Potter fans are stupid. A three year old boy has had to have a traffic cone cut off his head because he thought it looked like Harry's hat. It took about eleven firefighters to take it off. The Harry Potter fans were on again, unhappy with the abuse of their beloved book... and you think The Bible followers get it bad! Some, however, did find the story funny, and that makes them sick.

<i>Listener: "But Dumbledore is gay, you should read it, there's something for everyone..."

* Team Laughs*

Chappers: "Oh, well I'd best start reading it now then!"</I>

<a href="http://www.unofficialmills.co.uk/communities/showpost.php?p=218012&postcount=1">Listen back to Tuesday's highlights here.</a>

And the song for lovers story takes a creepy twist on Wednesday's (24/10) show, when Scott gets a song for Chappers made. Have a tissue ready, it'll bring a tear to your eyes. Entitled "Until Chappers Arrived" it includes Chopper's love for Manchester United, and his wish for his own radio show. There's one very sweet line calling him "a gift from above" - although gift sounds a lot like gimp! Zane popped into the studio to hear it, but couldn't handle the emotion. Was it that sweet, or was he just jealous?

Oh, and have you got a friend who can't keep a secret no matter how much you ask them to? That's what Scott's new feature 'Scott's Loose Lips' is all about. Today Scott spoke to Paula, who wanted to nominate her best friend Becky. If you tell her one thing it'll go through to all of her other mates. Paula told Becky she and her husband had a massive row, and won't go to Kenya at the weekend. Becky loved the gossip, and when Scott got another friend to ring her up it took her no time at all to spill the beans! <a href="http://www.unofficialmills.co.uk/communities/showpost.php?p=218029&postcount=1">Listen back to Wednesday's highlights here.</a>

Moving on to Thursday (25/10) and it's all about the pussy. Can you believe that these days cat lovers will stoop so low to buy expensive gourmet food for their cats? Scott thinks it's ridiculous, and doesn't believe a cat will care, or taste the difference. Scott and his big mouth meant that Scott was forced to test it out, and find out which tastes better. On two plates there was regular fish and meat cat food, normal fish and meat, or gourmet fish and meat cat food. Scott managed to work out what all three samples were on the fish plate. He also correctly identified the meat samples, but actually preferred the cat food to the normal human pâté!

And as part of his mission to show how a-mar-zin' the song for lovers website is, he's got Zane a personalised song. But to prove he's not playing off Zane and Chappers, Zane's song isn't as complimentary or as sweet. Zane was dead excited about this, which featured his sexual way he says 'who's on board', talks about MTV2, how he's ill a lot, and his love for Tesco value breadsticks. This particular song is entitled "The Coolest Of Zane", but I don't think it'll be making 'Fresh Meat' on Zane's show any time soon. The best bit of the song is the ending - "next time you go down under, make it be with me". I imagine there'd be a Nicole Kidman and Robbie Williams style video to it too.

Oh, and Scott found out boys really don't gossip. They really don't care bout juicy news, as Scott revealed today using two male callers. <a href="http://www.unofficialmills.co.uk/communities/showpost.php?p=218047&postcount=1">Listen back to Thursday's highlights here.</a>

And finally, the last day of the week, it's Friday (26/10). Today's special guest was Steve Strange, talking all things Celebrity Scissorhands. He was on last year, remember? This year he's the Assistant Manager, and is apparently a hair expert. How that makes you an expert in that year gap I don't know. But today he was on to meet his employee Aled from the Chris Moyles show and talk through some of the celebrities. Bit of a potty mouth, but he was a laugh, bless him. Scott and Aled reminisced on the days when Nikki came into the academy, and wouldn't let Steve cut her hair. Check out Celebrity Scissorhands on Sunday at 9pm, and every week night on BBC Three. <a href="http://www.unofficialmills.co.uk/communities/showpost.php?p=218105&postcount=1">Listen back to Friday's highlights here.</a>

Don't forget Scott's on the Xtra Factor on Saturday night. We'll see you on board for next week's shows, Monday from 4pm. Bysey Bye...