Rylan and Scott

[Riz]

Scott's back this week, after feeling poorly for most of last week. Lets hope he's here to stay this time...

<b>Sunset Tan</b>

You might've heard Scott mention this before, when he was talking about the 8 year old girl in America whose Mother took her to an all famous tanning salon to get fake tanned for the school photos. Scott's found, believe it or not, and even better episode from this American fly-on-the-wall reality show on E! In this episode, theyre doing a home visit, which in itself is quite generous. These fake tan professional, Holly and Molly, are very attractive, and Scott reckons even Chappers wouldnt mind a visit from them, i bet hes willing to pay aswell... Anyway, this isnt just any old home visit, they happen to be going to a morgue, to fake tan a dead tv presenter. He was always tanned on telly apparently, so there should be no change, no matter if hes dead or not.

Laura: <i>"That's so what you're going to be like when you're dead"</i>

And I reckon shes probably right with her comment to Scott. It seems he doesn't deny it either, he's well up for it.

Holly and/or Molly: <i>"Just get me a bucket and i'll dip him in it"</i>

And it appears the girls aren't too keen on fake tanning Mr TV Presenter, surprisingly. Sunset Tan starts in the UK at the beginning of July on E!

<b>Phone Flush</b>

Caller on the phone has a, well, intriguing conversation about what happened to his lost mobile phone. He was out on a night out wth some friends, and decides he needs to go to the loo to take a dump. Whilst sat there evacuating, his phone rings, and as human instincts go, he reaches to answer. With his mind obviously concentrating on other things, he fumbles and drops it down the loo. With a mobile phone down there, amongst other things, he deicdes to flush the toilet first, hoping the phone is too big to go down, then he could reach down and get it. Sadly though, plan failed and the mobile is flushed away.

Later though, he rings his mobile to find a foreign man answering at the other end.

Laura: <i>"Had it gone through the sewage all the way to France?!"</i>

Hmm. Nice theory. Anyway, Scott gives it a call later in the show to find the same foreign, well French, if you can really call him that, answering. Scott doesnt really get anywhere with him, and the bloke doesnt seem to fully understand whats going on. So Chappers gives it a go, with his unmistakable French accent. Again, getting nowhere really, however, there is an uncanny likeness between Chappers and the 'French' blokes accent... theyre both really bad impressions of French people. Was the caller having Scott on?

<b>Laura Blows One</b>

Any One Night With Laura entrants feeling really annoyed at losing the competition? Give todays show a listen and it'll soon make you feel like a lucky man. Just during the show, randomly, feels like she needs to pass wind, and being the lady she is, decides she must share it with the nation. Off she goes, arse to the microphone, properly blowing one like an actual man. Lady like? Not our laura.