Capital Summertime Ball 2024

[Riz]

Hi there! Emma’s a little snowed under with coursework today, so she’ll be reviewing your Wednesday show, and I’ll do today’s. Aren’t you excited?

Right in with a bit of <b>Innuendo Bingo</b> from the rugby at the weekend…

Rugby Commentator: <i>” We all love a really big tackle…. It’s gotta be legal though!”</i>

<b>Pleasuring the Students at Fresher’s Week</b>

Both Scott and Chappers were doing their DJ-ing duties at Lincoln and Hull Universities, respectively.

Chappers, as a combination of his Chappers and Dave gig and Man Utd match (part of the Premier League Allstars match on Sky One) at the weekends, is sound <i>very</i> poorly. Only managing to get out one story on the news at 3.30 earlier, he’s beyond the sexy raspy voice. In fact, some are even claiming he sounds like Madge from neighbours… “Harold!”

As for Scott, people in Hull were giving him into trouble for his ‘go to university single’ lesson on last weeks show. People were near to slapping him, because they were claiming their boyfriend/girlfriend had heard the show, and as a result, dumped the soon afterwards! Mary’s off to Aberystwyth university, but as far as Laura knows, she’s single. I wonder if her new found celebrity status as the “girl who reads out Laura’s Diary” will get her anymore action with the lads…?

<b>Record of the Week</b>

…Is Leona Lewis - Bleeding love. Scott’s claiming its not as bad an idea as it sounds, however much I beg to differ… According to Scott, her album that’s coming out is surprisingly not too bad. He reckons she wont be like all the other failures like Steve Brookstein (whoooo?!) and Michelle McManus (the fat lass). Scott guarantees you’ll love it by the end of the week. I hope he’s sure about that…

<b>Are You bored? Get Naked!</b>

So, what do you do when you get bored? Chappers watches telly, Laura cleans and generally puts things in baskets, but one guy in America has proven Scott’s theory that when bored, blokes generally just get naked… (is he speaking from experience?). This American guy decided he had nothing better to do, so stripped, and robbed at shop, with his wanger out and everythin’. After police watched the CCTV, they recognised him because there had been complaints of him standing at his window naked.

Surprisingly though, Scott and Chappers both claim to having walking around their house in the buff. Actually, Scott even elaborates, and tells us he loaded the washing machine this morning completely naked. Apparently, according to Chappers, watching telly with your hands down your pants is another thing blokes do… or is that just Chappers?

<b>Flirt Divert</b>

I imagine flirt divert has been especially busy over the weekend what with it being freshers week an’ all. Heres a little taster of who you met over the weekend…

<i>hello sarah, this is jack splash! Please call me”

“hi matt, its Rachel. Why are you sending me pictures of your dingly-dangly?” - another reason for guys to get naked. </i>

I love how Rachel, the second girl, cant seem to be able to say penis.

<b>Have You Been a Victim of X Factor Guilt Yet?</b>

Scott certainly has. He caved at the weekend when Emma sang ‘Your Heart Will Go On’ off’ve Titanic. Although, you’ll probably remember her better for her dress and her size. So, her and her family are big boned, is the patronising music really needed? I mean, you probably did lugh at some point, but its ashame. Her Dad slaved for 3 days making that dress for her big shot at stardom. The worst bit was when she came out to tell her family the bad news and said “not one of them liked my dress”. Bless her. They should’ve left it there though, but no, they did what is possibly the worst thing to do on x factor, and that was to re enter the audition room with an army of relatives and fight back. But it didn’t work.

<b>Also on todays show</b>, phats and small ‘star’ Ben still cant resist bursting into song when hes on the telly….”hey! Whats wrong with you!”.

Scott plays a clip of a <a href= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9ihncLGOx4&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eunofficialmills%2Eco%2Euk%2Fcommunities%2Fshowthread%2Ephp%3Ft%3D7693%26page%3D11>Swedish TV Host throwing up</a> live on tv, and makes poor Natalie off’ve the entertainment news nearly throw up too…

Don’t forget, Noel Gallagher is doing the legends show tonight