Radio 1 Anthems Scheduling

[Jono]

Fresh from watching Midsomer Murders, I'm back to update you on the breakfast show news.

<b>Happy New Year from Unofficial Mills!</b>

The whole team was in today - even Chappers. Following his disappearing act on the last day of Scott Mills Gold, he's made it into the studio at 6.30am. Blimey. But what a treat we were left with whilst he was off. Westwood was the only DJ that would answer his phone last week, so was given the job of playing out Scott's best bits.

<I>Westwood: "I'm playing out Scott's best bits of the last 12 months... so it should only last 5 minutes"</I>

<b>Your mum and dad did some stuff...</b>

'Birthday Corner' was back on today sounding as fresh as ever. Unfortunately today there was only one card, so it soon came to an abrupt ending. Who said these features are fixed? Don't forget to write to Birthday Corner, The Chris Moyles Show, London, W1N 4DJ to keep this feature running.

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<I>You may moan about Birthday Corner, but Radio Cornwall's equivalent is much more painful...</I></center>

It then emerged that many listeners had listened to Scott's show whilst in the delivery room. One listener had given birth to her son to the tune of Paris Hilton's Stars Are Blind, whilst another was expected around the time that awful Soulja Boy record was being played. Imagine having to be associated with that song for your life? Coincidentally <a href="http://www.thisdayinmusic.com/member/birthdayno1.php">Number 1 on the day I was born</a> was 'The Only Way Is Up' by Yazz and The Plastic Population. That might explain why I was born by caesarean.

<b>Let's play darts!</b>

Scott has discovered he has a new talent. He's realised he's good at darts and 'wiped the floor' with his friend Simon whilst in the pub recently. Chappers reckons he can get Scott "Robert" Mills a place in the darts championship this week, and now Scott is paranoid it might be 'beginners luck'. But it's not as easy as that, there are plenty of complications to this. You've got to have a good middle name, a busty blonde to walk on with, a fat wife, a decent tipple and a good song to walk on to. Scott's thinking that the Benny Hill theme tune would be unique. Either that or 'Man I Feel Like A Woman' by Shania Twain.

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<I>Scott Robert Mills with his fat partner Mark Chapman ahead of the big match...</I></center>

I think he's missing out on a trick here. He should be calling himself Scott Bob Mills and using the Spongebob Squarepants theme tune. And if Scott takes Laura in a bikini the massive wabs should distract the spectators away from the game. Let's not forget that he'll have to do away with the black shirts too if he wants to be a hit.

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<I>Artists impression - all expenses spared here at Unofficial Mills</I></center>

<b>We're bringing Maureen back...</b>

Away from this tomfoolery, Flirt Divert was back on, and as expected the lines were jam packed after the festive period. The first message featured a caller who sounded like they'd had a bit of an accident, and the phone cut off. The second caller came from Nigel who wanted to speak to Maureen (what are Maureen's doing listening to Radio 1?) and the third message came from a camp sounding Irish caller. And before you ask, it wasn't Louis Walsh. Remember to put 07770 774 914 in your phone!

Following on from this, we've now established they're bringing Maureen back. There were some fifteen, eighteen and twenty three year olds on the text with this name. I'd love it if that made the top names of 2008 when the list comes out in December - 'Grace' and 'Jack' are so overrated.

<b>Scott's Got Talent</b>

Laura and her boyfriend James were round at Scott's on New Year's Eve. James has discovered he has a new talent too. I'm presuming the show is gearing up for the new series of Britain's Got Talent here. Anyway, he's decided he's good at impressions and kept them entertained with the impressions right up till the chimes at midnight. As Scott explained, those who think they do good impressions tend not to be.

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<I>Woah woah woah it's Coronation Street's Casanova Dev</I></center>

One caller proved Scott wrong with his Westwood impressions, but he also tried out his Smithers and Burns impression which were rubbish. Other impressions included Janice off of Friends, Jimmy Carr, Johnny Vegas and Loyd Grossman. Scott was keen to get a girl on who would do a Dev impression but none put themselves forward.

<b>Also in today's show...</b>

News on the cleaner front is that Scott's cleaner is back with her boyfriend. So he didn't invite her back for a Christmas Day meal. Meanwhile Scott's mum has had a 'round robin' letter about her friends family, better known as the 'bragagram'. We've done something similar <a href="http://www.unofficialmills.co.uk/show/theyear2007.php">here</a> for the review of the year. Oh and Eileen was back on again, Scott's secret song stalker. Today she was singing to tune of "I'm Not Sorry". She's a teacher you know; I bet parents evenings are a bundle of joy with her.

<b>Record of the Week</b>

This week's Record of the Week (kind of) is The Feeling and I Thought It Was Over. Which is clearly not the situation for their career as they've got an album out soon.

<div class="box1"><font size="2"><b>Your Views - Live discussion on the forum...</b></font>

<b>Grace</b> - Do pubs still have dartsboards in them? What is this, Eastenders? Or the 1960s?

<b>Kelly</b> - Haha, I'd pay to see Scott 'The Wotsit' Mills play darts.

<b>Seb</b> - My clock radio just clicked on and I wondered why they'd given Chappers the breakfast show</DIV>

Join in the discussion each morning <a href="http://www.unofficialmills.co.uk/communities/showthread.php?t=8238">here</a>. And tune in from 6.30am tomorrow for more from The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills.