Jump to content
Unofficial Mills

Recommended Posts

Posted

Today's review is from Grace...

Howdoo sailor? You’ve got the lovely me guiding through you through the ups and ups of today’s show, hopefully you listened, it was a corker, even if Scott’s “Alright Treacle” was a bit off. Chopper suggested a week where Scott uses a different accent for the start of each show, is it wrong I’d really love that? If you were unfortunate enough to miss the show, then I would most certainly recommend listening again.

<B>BBC3 – What is going on?!</B>

Everyone knows BBC3 right? Famous for Doctor Who reruns (wahey) and the countless amount of Two Pints of Lager episodes it shows late at night. Well, Scott’s got a bit of a problem with the selection of programming on BBC3 currently, as there’s been a lot of risqué programmes on at the moment. First off was “Help! I smell of fish”. If you laughed at that (Chopper, I’m looking at you), then you are a mean, mean person, it’s a serious affliction to have to live with. I personally wouldn’t dream of laughing at that. *Ahem*. Scott was right in suggesting that they could have maybe been a bit more sensitive with the title of the programme, it is a bit “good mornin’!”. Then Scott brought up “F*ck off! I’m a hairy woman.”, to which Chopper added that there had been “F*ck off! I’m ginger.” Scott took a bit of convincing on that one, but I can confirm that it does exist, I watched it. It had the little guy off of Big Cook, Little Cook (quality programme!) who rides a spoon. I kid you not. There’s also been “F*ck off! I’m fat”, “My big breasts and me” and “My penis and everybody else’s”. Scott had a point, y’know.

<B>Squeezing partners’ spots?</B>

So Scott was in the park (and before you ask what he was doing there, he was walking through), and he noticed a couple nearby. The lad was leant face down with the girl straddling him (ooh er), and she was really intently squeezing the spots on his back. Yep, you read that correctly, Scott watches couples in the park. And he was complaining about the stuff on BBC3! Anyway, Scott wants to know if that’s normal, because he’d never let anyone squeeze his spots; that’s just mingin’. Laura then admitted that she often squeezes James’ spots, but they have an agreement she can’t pop any on his face or neck. And they wear those blackhead strips together, ahh true love...

<B>Scott can’t whistle!</B>

Scott’s got a problem- he can’t whistle, he was at the Prince gig with Shayne Ward, and Shayne did a really loud whistle. You know the ones where you put your fingers in your mouth then blow? (I can’t do them, but some can.) Now, Scott really wants to be able to do this as he doesn’t like to be made to feel inadequate, so he’s set about learning. Sarah from Manchester phoned up to teach Scott and Chopper this fine art, by instructing them to put their forefingers in their mouth and blow. Chappers and what seems to be half the country appears to have misunderstood this, and actually put four fingers from both hands, so eight fingers, in. This could be witnessed in every other car on the motorways, according to those who texted in. Scott also revealed he can’t make those farting noises with his armpit (tsk, I’m a lady, I shouldn’t be writing this), which prompted a lot of people texting in saying they can make farting noises with their legs and, interestingly, their boobs. This link also got an amazing innuendo bingo comment from Scott – “When I blow it doesn’t work!”. Hilarious. This leads me nicely onto…

<B>Deliberate innuendo bingo on the lottery!</B>

As you may well know, Scott hosts the midweek lottery on Wednesday nights, and on being told the jackpot he said “That’s a big one, you better get started!”. Make of that what you will.

<B>Scott can’t draw, either.</B>

Today really is the day to make our Lord feel inadequate, as Scott and Chopper’s drawing skills are being put to the test by Laura. This all started with Scott bringing up some celebrity artwork that’s been put up for auction, most of the pieces are a bit okay, but Mackenzie Crook’s drawing of a ship is amezzin’. Konnie Huq’s (her off of Blue Peter) picture however, was another matter. I believe Chappers said “I’ll give you a fiver, but keep the painting.”. Anyway, Scott and Chappers had a few minutes during a song to draw a cat, an owl and a crocodile. The efforts were, frankly, abysmal. Chopper’s owl looked more like a penguin and Scott’s crocodile looked like, well, let’s just say it wouldn’t look out of place in a toilet. To check out these pictures you can go to Radio 1 online, and if you want to see some forum members’ efforts then go to Your Views on the forum.

<B>Chicks dig musicians, or do they?</b>

Now Scott’s got a friend who’s a drummer in a band. Not a very good band, apparently, but I digress (what’s new?). Anyway, girls, being the shallow lovelies they are, really dig guys who are musicians. But what Scott really wants to know is if that’s all musicians, or just drummers/guitarists/bassists etc? Where do we draw the line? Some musical instruments are, after all, a lot more attractive than others. Scott then demonstrated this with an amazing violin rendition of an Irish folk song. I’ve got to say, it wasn’t too sexy. Unless I was a leprechaun, then I’d be his. Scott also pulled off an astounding bassoon performance, followed by the accordion. But the real question on the lips (or fingers?) of those texting in was if Scott had ever blown a French horn…

Finally, Scott finishes the show with a story from across the pond, about a new brand of burglars. Imagine for a second, if you will, that you’ve just broken into a house, what do you steal? Cash? Jewellery? Electronics? Nope, nope and nope. You steal the oven door of course! Then pass it off for a plasma screen TV, making a quick $300. Those crazy Americans. Clever, but crazy none the less.

And so ends another Scott Mills Show, I’ve got to say, today was an absolute cracker. Listen tomorrow, when it’s Only Bley Friday, for the Wonder Years, and come along to Your Views and join in with the banter.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Posts

    • Richie Anderson in for Rylan tomorrow.
    • Mylo and Rosie said at the end of their show today that they would also be on Early Breakfast on Thursday 24th July (even though the schedule still says Dean)
    • James is in for Dean from Monday 11th to Thursday 14th August. Dean is in for Greg from Monday 11th to Friday 15th August. Jaguar is in for Sarah on Friday 15th August.
    • Tara Kumar is in for Alyx on Sunday 13th July.
    • Conor Knight & Lauren Layfield are in for Matt & Mollie on Monday 14th July.  Matt is solo on Tuesday 15th July.  Jerry is in for Mollie between Wednesday 16th & Thursday 24th July.  Maia Beth is covering Future Pop on Wednesday 16th & Wednesday 23rd July. On Sunday 27th July the Chillest Show is reduced to an hour, and 20.00-21.00 is a BBC Proms special with JADE. On Thursday 31st July 18.00-20.00 in place of Jack's show it's the Dance Party Warm-Up with Danny Howard (ahead of the Ibiza weekend).
    • Dean McCullough in for Greg w/c 4th August. James Cusack on EB.
    • Well looks like Mollie is off all month now so presumably a personal matter. 
    • Intrigued why Matt & Mollie aren't presenting breakfast on Monday, with James in for them instead (which has happened before).. or even James given a chance to present the breakfast show?
    • Sam & Danni seem to be down for Breakfast on Monday. James Cusack on Going Home. That’s another new name in the list of “people who have hosted Going Home in 2025”.
    • Wednesday, surely? But this is another mess, as this weeks Summer press release said it’ll be Sam & Danni no Jamie from the 28th - so it’s actually a whole week earlier!
    • Jamie Laing’s last show before his summer break will be on Wednesday 16th July.
    • I worked out once Scott spent 3 months of a year off his own slot in the Moyles days and more like 4 in Grimmys days, six weeks of his own holiday and projects, six covering Grimmy plus some ad hoc days 
    • Back on topic, I think there's quite a few of the current Radio 1 presenters who would be able to adapt to Radio 2's style in the future. It's more of question of how many of them will actually end up there. With much of R2's line up changed over the past couple of years, it's quite possible we won't see much movement there, and R2 management might even decide to look elsewhere to bring in new presenters in future.
    • With OJ covering on bank holidays. She is the best person for the job however... they're going to end up with a situation like Scott covering R1 breakfast back in the day, where she spends quite a bit of time off her own slot covering Breakfast, plus her own holiday and other commitments. She's been filming for something recently which has meant she's been off several days a week since May. She was off last week, on breakfast this week, OJ is on Mon/Tues next week, then She's off the following two weeks.
    • Looking back at this I would say now that Sara is the main cover - I think she has been reestablished as it now 
×
×
  • Create New...