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Unofficial Mills

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Afternoon, it is the webmaster here. Let's crack on and remind you that downloadable now from the Radio 1 mobile site are the catchphrases "delish I can tell you" and "I like turtles". Text 'mobile' to 81199 if you have a wap enabled phone.

Scott's got a problem with his neck so he can't make eye contact at any of the team today, whilst Laura's needing to rush to the toilet because of James' cooking the night before.

Laura's got a problem. She's got to get a wedding present for someone she used to go to school with. But rather than asking for presents, they want guests to contribute money to the honey moon.

Now what's with kids and imaginary friends? Scott's mate has a friend called Tom. And the one that doesn't speak's kids had imaginary friends called 'Jim' who got ran over by a steam roller. It seems most imaginary friends die in

Sally Traffic on Radio 2 had a great innuendo today as she's just had a "blow job".

And P Diddy is after a PA. Just like Jady Goody off of that show. But the most important requirement is that you need to have a degree. So remember kids, stay in school, and you could be P Diddy's PA. But the amazing bit is the people get to decide on who should be the finalist. So if Scott sends Laura there, we could in theory vote her in as Diddy's PA.

Right, we've finally got a Dear Deirdre's casebook update. Carl's changable girlfriend, you've heard about it enough, but there's been further developments! It's a bit of an anti-climax. Maria told Carl he'll never neglect her again. As per usual, Carl talks to his imaginary friend. And this is the point where Deirdre gives her great advice. To be honest her advice was just common sense, that even Chopper and Scott could have given.

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