The eighth floor

[natalie deakin]

<b>Chappers Is Worried</b>

Chappers is very nervous about the football: Man. Utd away to AC Milan. He said real United and Liverpool fans don’t want a Man. Utd and Liverpool final.

He is also annoyed because Nicola is on May on the Girls Aloud calendar and that’s a bad omen for the month and it could all go wrong. Nicola could also be on October which is Chappers’ birthday. Chappers went and fetched the calendar and Nicola is on October and it will be a bad year.

The show got a mention in the Bizarre column in The Sun thanks to Victoria Newton. It said: ‘Cheeky Radio 1 scamp Scott Mills tried to flog me a revealing picture of Laura Sayers, one of his team taken at the Sony Awards. It’s worth a fiver and a bag of crisps but any naughty snaps of Scott would fetch a lot more – over to you Laura.’

Scott mentioned the Pillow Fighting League again. Digit is through now and Scott will keep Chappers up-to-date. Scott thinks there should be a PFL over here.

Jamie Lynn off of Essex said she would like to represent Essex in the pillow fighting. Scott would like to have a pillow fight with Amy Winehouse and Mika. Chappers said Amy would batter Scott in a pillow fight.

<b>Science Experiment</b>

Chappers has got another game for Scott and Laura to play. It involves Tutti Fruttis, sweets that go pop in your mouth and two cups of fizzy pop. They have to see how much sweets and pop they can get in their mouths. The winner is the last one to blow their load, plus they have to face each other. Laura says she has no chance because she can’t keep her mouth shut for 5 seconds. Scott and Laura both blew their loads at the same time. Some people think Chappers’ scientific experiment is a contender for Innuendo Bingo. Scott said: ‘Surely I’m going to end up blowing my load over Laura or vice versa.’ Laura: ‘I can’t fit anything else in my mouth.’

<b>The Biggest Loser</b>

Scott and Chappers play against each other. When Laura walks down the street people always ask her ‘who’s the biggest loser’. When they answer ‘yes’ to a question they get a letter, the first to get loser is the biggest loser. Scott was the first to get LOSER because he got booed off stage for singing Chacarron. He once had to wear his teacher’s tights in a school play. Scott had his picture taken with David Gest but it was Jo Whiley’s idea. Also, Scott has taken toilet paper from a public toilet to replace the one at home and a bailiff once came after Scott.

<b>Scott and Chappers Plans</b>

Scott and Chappers are going to a gay bar on the Saturday 12th and it’s Eurovision and they’ll be the only gays in the village. Dave off of London text in about picking girls up in gay places saying the last thing we need is a flood of straight guys that we can’t have.’