natalie deakin

Chappers has had a strange day. He had to do some filming with Lovejoy off of Soccer AM to do with the FA Cup Final. Except Chappers was the only Man United fan there, all the others were Chelsea supporters. It was quite intimidating for him. Also Chappers and Dave have been invited to the man that played Jimmy Corkhill’s 50th birthday. He hasn’t replied back yet. A girl wanted Chappers to help her get Pink to sign her stomach. <b>Laura Jiggling</b> They recorded Laura yesterday on power plates. The online people have told them there not allowed to put the video on the Radio 1 site because it doesn’t inform, educate or entertain. The video can be found on Youtube and Unofficial Mills. Jenny got in touch with the show about her ex-boyfriend. She split up with Nick 3 months ago and he’s left some of his things behind at her house. Scott rang Nick up and told him what Jenny Said. He asked Nick questions about Jenny, for every question he gets right he gets some stuff back and if he gets the question wrong Jenny smashes some of his stuff up. Nick got his DVDs back because he knew the colour of Jenny’s eyes. She smashed up his football mug and his decks and vinyl because he got the last two questions wrong. <b>Pillow Fighting League</b> Jo Whiley is up for a bit of a pillow fight with Scott in the next couple of days. People pretending to be celebrities texting in about the PFL. Paul the drummer off of The Kooks is up for a pillow fight. Chappers wanted to make sure it was the real drummer by asking him questions and it was the real drummer. Matthew Hugguard an English cricketer would to have a pillow fight. <b>Florist Game</b> The florist game is back and Laura is sending the flowers. The message was ‘I miss you. I can’t wait to feel your skin on my skin again, for you to kiss my soft lips. I hunger for your touch. I want you to caress my silky thighs. Nibble my rocky bleep. Part me like the red sea. I want you to caress my bleep and bleep my bleep. I’m all yours, come and get me.’ They failed because the man would have sent the flowers with the message.

<b>Chappers Is Worried</b> Chappers is very nervous about the football: Man. Utd away to AC Milan. He said real United and Liverpool fans don’t want a Man. Utd and Liverpool final. He is also annoyed because Nicola is on May on the Girls Aloud calendar and that’s a bad omen for the month and it could all go wrong. Nicola could also be on October which is Chappers’ birthday. Chappers went and fetched the calendar and Nicola is on October and it will be a bad year. The show got a mention in the Bizarre column in The Sun thanks to Victoria Newton. It said: ‘Cheeky Radio 1 scamp Scott Mills tried to flog me a revealing picture of Laura Sayers, one of his team taken at the Sony Awards. It’s worth a fiver and a bag of crisps but any naughty snaps of Scott would fetch a lot more – over to you Laura.’ Scott mentioned the Pillow Fighting League again. Digit is through now and Scott will keep Chappers up-to-date. Scott thinks there should be a PFL over here. Jamie Lynn off of Essex said she would like to represent Essex in the pillow fighting. Scott would like to have a pillow fight with Amy Winehouse and Mika. Chappers said Amy would batter Scott in a pillow fight. <b>Science Experiment</b> Chappers has got another game for Scott and Laura to play. It involves Tutti Fruttis, sweets that go pop in your mouth and two cups of fizzy pop. They have to see how much sweets and pop they can get in their mouths. The winner is the last one to blow their load, plus they have to face each other. Laura says she has no chance because she can’t keep her mouth shut for 5 seconds. Scott and Laura both blew their loads at the same time. Some people think Chappers’ scientific experiment is a contender for Innuendo Bingo. Scott said: ‘Surely I’m going to end up blowing my load over Laura or vice versa.’ Laura: ‘I can’t fit anything else in my mouth.’ <b>The Biggest Loser</b> Scott and Chappers play against each other. When Laura walks down the street people always ask her ‘who’s the biggest loser’. When they answer ‘yes’ to a question they get a letter, the first to get loser is the biggest loser. Scott was the first to get LOSER because he got booed off stage for singing Chacarron. He once had to wear his teacher’s tights in a school play. Scott had his picture taken with David Gest but it was Jo Whiley’s idea. Also, Scott has taken toilet paper from a public toilet to replace the one at home and a bailiff once came after Scott. <b>Scott and Chappers Plans</b> Scott and Chappers are going to a gay bar on the Saturday 12th and it’s Eurovision and they’ll be the only gays in the village. Dave off of London text in about picking girls up in gay places saying the last thing we need is a flood of straight guys that we can’t have.’

<b>More Innuendo Bingo</b> Jo Whiley played something earlier that involved Chappers, Scott and some animals. Scott says Jo has gone too far and Chappers thinks she pushes over the line. Dom off of The Chris Moyles Show said ‘have I got time for a quickie?’ Edith appeared twice saying ‘now it’s not much fun playing on your own is it?’ and ‘I’m a bit sore today’. <b>In Trouble with the Ladies</b> Chappers is in trouble with the ladies again. Last week Chappers was sorting out his sports news in the live lounge. George and Debbie (the head of news) were talking about fashion and Debbie was wearing a dress. On Sunday or Monday night Chappers was watching Coronation Street and Gail Platt was wearing the same dress as Debbie. Yesterday Chappers mentioned to Debbie that Gail Platt was wearing the same dress as her and now Debbie is furious with him. There were lots of texts coming in saying something about Scott and balls. Scott is presenting The National Lottery tonight. He tried to change the script but they wouldn’t allow it. People wanted Scott to give out the lottery numbers for tonight even though it’s live. Chappers wanted to give out tickets for an audience but Scott didn’t want one. <b>Answer Phone Messages</b> Some people have answer phone messages so it sounds like your having a conversation and then you hear leave your message after the beep. Laura’s sister Mary has it on her phone. There is a driving one when you hear the car crash at the end of before you leave a message. Scott would like to know if the people that have those messages are the same ones that wear novelty ties. <b>Another Advert</b> Scott found something on Youtube and it’s quite disturbing. It’s the scariest advert ever, which has been on air in America. The advert is a man advertising his rent-a-gun shop. The man’s voice scares Chappers. Scott wanted people to image being in Church, school assembly or round your Gran’s house and your phone rings and you hear Chappers kissing an animal. Now it’s on the mobile WAP site. They received a letter today but it was hand delivered. The letter said ‘To the Scott Miles Show Crew, grow up.’ Scott thinks the letter is from the boss. A voice spoke which could be Emlyn said ‘it’s from the new exec.’ One of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan’s friends has put all of their contact details on her myspace page. Scott wanted to leave Paris a message but her mail box on her phone was full. He paged Paris instead and gave her the studio number. <b>The Man that cut Scott’s Mum Up</b> The man refused to apologise yesterday. Until the man apologises Scott is going to have a bit of fun. Scott rang him again and played Blue – Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word, Madonna – Sorry and McFly – Sorry Isn’t Good Enough. The man hung up every time and swore on the phone. A man e-mailed Scott about a girl he went out with a couple of days ago on a date. The girl calls her dad daddy and she’s posh. She also has loads of cats and refers to them as their mummy and talks to them. Craig off of Somerset rang into say his current girlfriend of five years has made a Myspace page for their cats and there is an online community of cats. Chappers was speechless. Libby off of ‘You Call’ rang up about her boyfriend Craig off of Somerset ringing up Scott. She says Craig is jealous because her Myspace page for their cats has more friends then him. George off of Newsbeat says her cat speaks French to her. Laura calls her boyfriend James: pops. <b>A Brazilian</b> This started with Scott’s record of the week by CSS. Scott told Chappers there all Brazilian women and he wanted to know if Brazilian women have a Brazilian. Chappers said yes because that’s where it came from. He said they have one because they wear bikini thong things. Someone called Scott and Chappers pratts because the reason they’re called Brazilians is because there shaped like Brazil. Chappers did some research and found out Chile is the only place that looks like a Brazilian. He also said they could call it Chile because there would be less to keep you warm.

Chappers was furious and angry about the cricket and Laura is overly concerned about Scott’s welfare today. Scott is fine but Laura knows when there is something wrong with him. Chappers noticed a story on the Daily mirror website. The article is about Scott and Tim Westwood. The headline is ‘DJ in Pimp Plead’ and is about Scott begging Westwood to pimp his car, but got turned down. The photo they used is of Scott dressed as a toy soldier at the Radio1 Christmas party. Scott only asked Westwood once to pimp his car. For several months his car has been parked in the BBC car park where the important people at the BBC park their cars. The tax has run out on the car and he can’t move it, it won’t pass the M.O.T and can’t get a tax disc for it. A lot of people are angry upstairs because the director general parks his car next to Scott and say it’s an eyesore because of the swear words on the car. Scott found a website that quite disturbed him. In Wichita in America they have a problem with ladies of the night. Scott thought ladies of the night looked like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. <b>More Naked People on the Phone</b> Laura off of Buckingshire had been naked for 30 minutes and told Scott she planned on being naked for about 45 minutes. Rick off of Grimsby planned on being for 15 – 20 minutes. Scott asked him to do naked star jumps while he was on the phone and he did them. <b>The Website for Good Looking People</b> Scott was going to send pictures of the whole team in to the website. He was busy yesterday and only had time to send pictures of Chappers in. The first photo is the last publicity shots that he did Radio 1. The next picture is of Chappers in just his boxer shorts. The last one is of Chappers doing sit-ups in Germany and you can see up his shorts. Now the people on the website are judging him, if he gets an 8 or above, he will be a prospective member. Chappers doesn’t think he will get in. <I>Scott said: ‘Don’t put yourself down, let us do it for you.’</I> <b>TV Adverts</b> Scott got sent a video on e-mail. Youtube describe it as the worst advert ever. The advert is for a furniture shop in America and is a bit like the DFS advert. The furniture shop is called Montgomery Flea Market and the man that owns the shop describes it as a ‘mini mall’. The owner sings a sort of rap and lasts for about 2 minutes in the advert. When Scott worked in Bristol there was a man that used to run a furniture shop called Brian Steel from Half Priced Suites. He appeared on all his adverts and Scott can remember the whole advert. <I>Scott: ‘Hello, I’m Brian Steel from Half Price Suites, fed up with waiting 28 days for delivery for your new suite. Not any longer. Half price suites, simply the cheapest.’</I> Brian still does his own adverts but has moved on to carpets. <b>Celebrity Growler</b> Nobody could guess who the celebrity growler was. Someone was certain it was Deidre Barlow off of Coronation Street. The other guesses were Uma Thurman and Lily Allen. <b>The Castaway Finalists</b> The finalists are Alex, Catrine, Lawrence and Rabena. Scott and Laura spoke to them all except Lawrence who wouldn’t answer his phone. Laura pretended she was Becky Thistletw*t from the Castaway Production Office and she spoke to Alex. Scott pretended he was Jeremy Pink from the Castaway Production Office and spoke to Catrine and Rabena. Rabena worked that Jeremy Pink is actually Scott Mills. <b>Mousetrap Minefield</b> Scott and Laura are both blindfolded and have to walk across the floor which is booby trapped with mousetraps. Laura went first and got mousetraps on her heel and both of her toes. Scott had his thick socks on and Laura spinned him around. One mousetrap got stuck to his toe. He shuffled some out of the way and trod on three one after the other. Chappers couldn’t have a go because of medical problems. Jo Whiley agreed to have a go at Mousetrap Minefield.

Scott got caught red handed doing something he does quite often. He saw someone outside Radio 1 who he didn’t want to talk to. So Scott pretended he was on the phone and having a conversation (even though there was no one on the other end of the phone). He normally has his phone on silent but today when he was walking past the person pretending to talk on the phone, his phone rang and now he feels bad because the person now knows that Scott is avoiding them. Scott has no need conversations on the phone when he doesn’t have to at all. When Chappers is at his sport desk in the live lounge, he sees Scott walk through quite often and speaking on the phone. Chappers said: ‘Are you very rarely on the phone to anybody?’ Scott said: ‘Very rarely.’ Chappers: ‘You git, you rude git.’ Scott pressed the red button last night to watch the My Chemical Romance gig and after the gig Scott’s video podcast came on with his flatmate doing comedy. Chappers would like an audition to be Joseph on Any Dream Will Do; he would be kind of alright with a loin cloth on. Scott calls it Any Queen Will Do. <b>Innuendo Bingo</b> Chris said: ‘right, hard one? Yeah if you like.’ Another one: ‘hey Dom, fancy a bum.’ Debbie McGee said: ‘if you weren’t already known and you were just somebody new coming on my books. I would put you up against the same music video as Rachel.’ And Chris Moyles again, ‘I’d go for the man’s part.’ Coxy said: ‘come play with me.’ Dom on Moyles’ shows: ‘not wishing to probe to deeply Dave.’ Even Zane Lowe has been included, he said: ‘it’s the two lovely ladies who are on with me in the studio tonight.’ Halle Berry said: ‘I can’t tell you how good it makes my insides feel, I wish you could be inside right now and you would actually know.’ <b>Chris Moyles’ Naked Blog</b> Scott decided to talk about Moyles’ Girls Naked Blog. Rachel, Carrie and Jocelyn off of The Chris Moyles Show are naked. Scott got half way through watching it and had to turn it off. He doesn’t like seeing people naked he works with. Chappers said he’s seen Chris Moyles naked before and he’s quite a cuddly bear. He saw Chris Moyles naked at Euro 2004 when they were swimming. <b>Chappers’ Mistake</b> Chappers has made a mistake today and he’s angry about it. Chappers’ little boy is four tomorrow and he wants an England shirt for his birthday. Chappers has bought his son an England shirt with his name and the number 4 on the back. When Chappers went back to the shop he realised that Steven Gerrard wears the number four shirt for England and now his little boy is going to be running around as a scouser. As a Man Utd fan its hell for Chappers but the one who doesn’t speak loves it because he supports Liverpool. <b>Avril Singing in Different Languages</b> Someone at Avril Lavigne’s record company has had a brilliant idea. . The idea was to sing the chorus to ‘Girlfriend’ in different languages. Avril sang it in French, Italian, German and Mandarin. Scott doesn’t think Avril spent enough times getting the words right. <b>Old People Saying Embarrassing Words</b> Hannah e-mailed in because her dad’s new favourite word is wicked. Laura says wicked every 5 minutes. Scott said when should you stop saying wicked. Chappers would have thumped Scott if he’d been asking him. Paul off of Nottingham says his brother is 42 and always says crucial. Jess got in touch to say her mum is 46 and says well cool. Paul off of Bristol text in to say his dad is 51 and says rad. Chappers says top banana is a wrong phrase for any one to say at any age. Someone’s dad still says bling and he’s nearly 60. Louise off of Kent said her dad is 52 and he answers the phone and always says whassup. Ian said his dad is 68 or 69 and still says yo. <b>Radio Quizzes</b> Scott found someone more stupid than yesterday on New Zealand radio. On this quiz the answer is Sunday, so the woman has to work out what the question is. The answer is what day is father’s day? The radio presenter gave her a lot of clues and even gave her the answer. It took the woman ages to work out what the question was.

Its Scott’s birthday and a lot of people have said nice things to him and Zane Lowe gave him a big man hug and called Scott handsome. Scott doesn’t like a fuss on his birthday but Chappers thinks they should make a fuss of Scott because he is special too! Chappers even made Scott a cup of tea. Scott told someone to record this because it will never happen again. Scott looks upon Chappers like almost a father figure for advice. Chappers asked Scott if he wanted a smack or something because they’re the same age today. A friend of Scott’s has got a problem. His mate used to go out with someone and they split up six or eight months ago because they weren’t getting on that well anymore and were drifting apart. Yesterday Scott’s friend saw the person they used to go out with and now they’re really hot. Chappers thinks Scott’s friend has to move on. Someone text in saying ‘if they dumped Scott when they were ugly, now they’re hot they probably won’t touch Scott with a barge pole.’ Scott said it isn’t him, he’s asking for a friend. Scott has bought a tear stick for tomorrow to help the boys cry on demand to win My Chemical Romance tickets. The one who doesn’t speak tried to put it under his eye and instead put it in his eye and then couldn’t see. <b>Scott’s Birthday Messages</b> They found lots of people to give Scott birthday messages. The first message was from Sue Merchant off of BBC Local Radio. There was a mention for Scott on BBC Radio Norfolk and they didn’t even know who Paolo Nutini is. Keith Middleton off of BBC Hereford and Worcestershire gave Scott a birthday message and played some camp birthday music. Chris Moyles sang happy birthday down the phone to Scott earlier. Charlotte Church left a message which sounded Welsh and Scottish. Cilla Black left Scott a birthday message. Cheryl off of Girls Aloud left Scott a message and said she wouldn’t mind a bit of Scott or Chappers if she wasn’t married. Kylie Minogue, Lorraine Kelly and Russell Crowe all left messages. All the celebrities that left birthday messages for Scott all sounded like Radio 1 presenters putting on accents. <b>Innuendo Bingo</b> Today Sara Cox said: crikey, I want a gob full. Comedy Dave said: it’ll pull her off. Then Comedy Dave and Chris said: I’m a two finger man as well. Yeah so am I. Chappers said when Sara Cox says ‘crikey, I want a gob full’ it manages to sound even filthier. <b>Celebrity Wife Swap</b> Scott got a sneak preview of this weekends Celebrity Wife Swap. It features Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee and Vanessa Feltz and Ben off of Phats and Small. Ben never stops mentioning about Phats and Small’s biggest hit ‘Turn Around.’ Someone text in saying Paul Daniels and Vanessa Feltz would be the new Phats and Small. Scott rang Dom off of The Chris Moyles Show because he opened the Lemur Sanctuary at Whipsnead Zoo. They were a few hundred people there.

<b>What DJs Have Been Saying</b> The Radio 1 listeners have been vigilant again. They have been telling Scott what the other presenters have been saying. Today <I>Jo Whiley said, “As many people in the same bed at the same time. That’s all I do at homeâ€. </I> Scott thinks Jo is probably absolute filth and you learn something new about her everyday. <b>Chappers’ Revenge</b> Scott wasn’t sure whether to play it because it’s the worst acting ever. The revenge call is related to Lucy and her housemate who resembled a cow last night. Chappers tried to put on a South African accent which he thought was good. <b>Scott’s Bad Luck</b> Scott thinks everything is coming back to haunt him. He lost his wallet at the weekend and last night he went into the bathroom and the mice are back again. Scott has got a plug in thing that plays a noise that only the mice can hear. George off of Newsbeat had one but someone got upset because they saw a mouse running away with its hands in its ears, Chappers said that wouldn’t work it would have to hop. George got a cat in the end and Scott asked if they plugged the cat in and Chappers said that would be very wrong. Also someone has deleted Laura and Scott’s Myspace pages. He thinks this is happening because of all the bad things he’s done to people in the past. Scott thought he would have found a Bubba today. In Southern California there is a diner called ‘Bubba’s Diner’. Scott rang them and they don’t except calls with withheld numbers. The person Scott is supposed to be going out with tonight has blown him out. <b>The Caller from Yesterday</b> Lucy rang in yesterday. She lives with her housemate who’s just got a brand new boyfriend and there are a lot of loud noises coming from the room next door that keeps Lucy awake every night. Scott told Lucy to play Jo Whiley and Comedy Dave on a rollercoaster. Lucy played it last night but her speakers weren’t big enough so they didn’t hear it. She said her housemate resembled a cow last night. Scott was confused to how she would make a cow noise. Then played Chappers animal noises and he had to guess them. <b>Lloyd</b> Lloyd taught Scott about the World Cup. He has raised quite a bit of money for Comic Relief by making some announcements at his local Sainsburys last week in Oswestry. He asked about a Drew Peacock and a gentleman who had lost his daughter called Miss Tesco is cheaper. Lloyd even used the name Ivor Biggin. Scott said if he had heard Lloyd he would go straight to the self checkout machines or shoplift.

Happy Birthday

thank you for the message

<b>Football at Wembley</b> Chappers was quite happy because on Saturday he might be playing football at Wembley. It will be the first football match to take place at the new stadium. Chappers might score the first ever goal or the first ever own goal. Scott got asked as well and think’s he might do it. Charles rang in to say he thinks Chappers will be the first person to be sent off at Wembley. Scott would pay good money to Comic Relief if Chappers was the first person to be sent off. Chappers is tempted to tie his hands behind his back so he doesn’t do any gestures. <b>Rallyoke</b> Chris Moyles said if they reach £400,000, then tomorrow Chris will tell all the listeners about Scott in Belfast and Chappers might tell us a story about Scott last weekend. <b>Dave or No Dave</b> Scott rang a pub in Edinburgh and Chappers said there would be a Dave and there was a Dave. John off of Philadelphia e-mailed in and said at the Waffle Houses in America there is always someone working there called Bubba. Scott played ‘Bubba or No Bubba’, he rang some Waffle Houses and there was no Bubba’s working at any of them. Scott started to think he’s been had at his own game. Brian got in touch to say he’d found a Bubba working in a takeaway in Ayrshire. <b>BBC Radio Ulster</b> Scott may have caused some offence to people outside of Northern Ireland with the tracks ‘Horse It into You Cynthia’ and particularly ‘I’ll Make Love To You In The Hen House If You’ll Only Egg Me On’. Some people are saying ‘I’ll Make Love To You In The Hen House If You’ll Only Egg Me On’ is not suitable for day time radio because of the lyrics. Chappers was shocked by the words in the song and thought it would be quite difficult to fit in a hen house but it would be fine if it was two hens. ‘Horse It into You Cynthia’ means stuff it into you Cynthia which means get it down you love, a drink. Chappers said Scott made it worse and the one who doesn’t speak nearly fell over with laughing.

i think chris moyles might be funny as an x factor judge

Scott is considering giving up exercise because everywhere hurts after he went for a run yesterday. <b>The Florist Game Is Back</b> About six months ago somebody e-mailed Scott to say that the florist he called up refused to put what he wanted to say on the card, because it was too rude. Scott embarked upon a mission to see what you can or can’t get away with and what they will or won’t put on the card with the flowers. This time Scott rang a florist in New York, the message was for Jo Whiley and it said, ‘I have your cat, do not call the police or the pussy gets it. Leave $100 in a bag in Washington Square. I will trim some hairs from your pussy and will send them to you as proof if you like. If you ever want to stroke your pussy again do what I say. Love Al Say Shon. Someone in New York got in touch with the show saying ‘no way would any florist in the Chelsea neighbourhood never say no to anything you have to write on the card.’ <b> Scott’s New Favourite TV Show</b> Scott says the programme is first class. The show is on ITV2 and its called Australian Princess, where girls who aren’t very lady like get a chance to be a real princess. The winner gets a tiara worth over $42,000 and its there’s to keep. Paul Burrell (he was Princess Diana’s butler) is in charge of teaching the girls how to be a princess. Someone got in touch with the show to say that Paul Burrell has got his own wine out called ‘The Royal Butler Wine Collection. Scott said does he have no shame. <b>Luck with the Ladies</b> Scott doesn’t have much luck with the ladies but now he thinks he’s found the perfect woman. He got an e-mail from a Russian girl called Katrina who is waiting for a visa to come over to England. This is where Scott comes in. Katrina wants to come over here to find a man and Scott could be her choice. So he wired £10,000 to her account and she arrives tonight. Kerry off of Lincoln rang up to say that she got that e-mail as well from Katrina. Dan rang up to say that he got that e-mail as and he replied back and she blew him off.

it looks like joel off of radio 1

the view - same jeans

alan carr isn't really funny

i thought he was brilliant on friday

<b>Scott’s Flatmate the Comedian</b> Chappers was disturbed after he saw some pictures of Fraser in drag. Scott said Fraser looked like he’s off of Sheila’s Wheels (advert). They put him in drag to see if it would raise a laugh. Last night they went to a pub in South London called The Bedford. Lenny Henry was on the show to give advice on Fraser’s comedy gig last night. Fraser was on fourth at the New Act’s Night in drag. Lenny said Fraser isn’t a good looking woman and it’s not an attractive look for him. The introduction they gave Fraser was ‘Fraser, Scott Mills’ Flatmate’ and Lenny said he had no chance. Fraser started off by telling everyone why he was in drag and Lenny thought it was a good opening line. Lenny said Fraser talked too much, there was to much waffle between the funny bits and the funny bits weren’t funny enough. The crowd weren’t really finding him funny. Lenny said because Fraser it’s scared and he’s fearless it’s a good advantage. He needs someone to go through the material with him and he needs a wicked suit. Lenny bought in his Comic Relief red suit for Fraser to wear at his next gig. Fraser has got till the end of the week to make people laugh. Scott had acquired an electric shock collar. The remote control is going to be given to member of the audience and if they don’t find Fraser funny they press the button and Fraser gets a shock. Scott put it around Laura’s arm and pressed the button and she didn’t make a fuss. Scott thought it hurt but that’s because Laura had the booster button on. Tim rang up to say Fraser was quite funny and would pay to go and see him. He would pay £20 for an hour for Comic Relief. <b>Scott’s House Got Broken In To</b> Yesterday during the show Scott was a little worried/agitated because the alarm in his house was going off for about 2 and a half hours. He eventually found out someone had broken into his house, but it wasn’t a burglar. A company that provide gas and there British and Scott isn’t even with them broke in to his house and fitted a gas card meter but left no card. There are no signs that they broke in and no forced entry. Scott hasn’t paid his bill and isn’t with the company and now has a card meter. Last April Scott changed over from the British company to the company he’s with now. He rang the company he’s with and they told him he’s still with the British company. When he rang the British company to ask about the card, they told him he’d have to wait between 7-10 days. Scott was really ANGRY. One person text in saying they came back off holiday to find a new gas meter fitted in their house. <b>Hotel Stories</b> Carla rang in to say about her traumatic morning. She works in a posh hotel and she cleans the rooms. Carla went into the room to fill up the mini bar and the fridge and there was a strange smell in the room. She went into the bathroom and the smell wasn’t there but when she went over to the bed and pulled back the bedspread there was a big poo. The guest that had stayed in the room had had an argument with manager about room service the night before. Tom off of Lichfield rang in to say about a couple of years ago he worked in a hotel and the same thing happened to him. He pulled back the bed covers and there was a smear of poo there. Quite a few times there was blood all over the place. Chappers got told a story about an international sports team. The team went to the same hotel for a number of years and always had the same rooms. One of the players took a shine to the girl that always cleaned his room every morning. He never understood why the girl always gave him a dirty look, never wanted to talk to him and kept her distance from him. Every morning when he went for breakfast, another player would go into the room with a mars bar and put a big brown mark down the middle of the bed. So when the girl went in she thought he’d left a great big skid mark. This happened every year. The team aren’t international anymore. <b>Scott’s Opinion on the Eurovision Songs</b> George off of Newsbeat asked Scott for his opinion. Justin off of The Darkness – Scott thought the song had a lot of high pitched wailing, too many ideas all at once and a really unpleasant brass bit in the middle. Brian Harvey – Scott thought the song sounded a bit like ‘I Believe I Can Fly’. Liz McClarnon - Scott thought the song was a bit like The Commitments/Son of a Preacher Man. Big Brovaz – Scott thought the song was bad Evanescence. Cindy – Scott said it shouldn’t be allowed because she’s French and the song is boring Celine Dion rubbish. Scooch – Scott loved the song and it has to win. <b>Laura, Wind and Nuts Magazine</b> Scott called Laura gross because she farted and he wanted to know if something died in her bum. The smell went all round the room. Chappers new issue of Nuts magazine arrived and Lianne off of Shipwrecked had her kit off in the magazine and Scott showed Laura. Laura said the bikini was quite cheap looking and the picture wasn’t appealing. Laura thought Lianne’s boobs were fantastic on Shipwrecked. Scott flicked thought the magazine to see if anything interested Laura but nothing took her fancy.

i can't wait to see him on fame academy - i will be voting for him

<b>Scott was backstage at The Brit Awards</b> Scott was really really excited about The Brit Awards even thought he’s been about 5 times. This year Scott and Chappers weren’t nearly invited because last year Chappers got chucked out and Katie Melua said some things about Scott. He also managed to blab an artist’s pass and he went to the artist’s area and it was all red and very well lit and Scott looked brilliant. Scott and Chappers were in a sound proof room, the room smelt of puke and Scott nearly got hit by a piece of scenery. Chappers showed he knows about women’s shoes and wanted Edith to ask Corinne Bailey Rae about her shoes. Scott found out he had to sit at a table with the girls from Wags Boutique and didn’t know what to talk about at the table. Chappers said they would probably talk about make up, spray tan, dental work and white wine. He had to sit with the Wags because he got bumped off of the Radio 1 table. Chappers told Scott that one of the Wags has a 6 feet wide picture of her breasts above her bed. Scott got really excited. Scott was going to miss the dinner because it was served at 6.15 and he’s on air till 7.00. Edith got to The Brits by going on a taxi bike. She went to the toilets to put her makeup on and nearly tripped over Jake Shears’ feet. So if he has a limp it’s Edith’s fault. Edith had to wear special pants underneath her dress. There like the pants Sienna Miller wore. Edith left her other pants on the cubicle floor of the women’s toilets. Chappers thought it might be a good idea to sell them on e-bay. Laura was on the red carpet with Edith. Scott kept doing his Russell Brand impression and saying ‘you swine’. He tried to find out which ones Russell Brand has or hasn’t had by asking everyone backstage at The Brits. Russell hasn’t had George off of Newsbeat. Gary off of Snow Patrol has had sex with Russell Brand twice in the same night or maybe three times. The Brit Awards were live for the first time in 18 years. Chappers said its taken 18 years to get over what happened in 1989. Scott found the clip and he can’t say how he found it. In 1989 it was presented by Samantha Fox off of boobs and Mike Fleetwood off of Fleetwood Mac. And it wasn’t the best live show. Jo Whiley said she knew it was Scott straight away when he did his Russell Brand impression yesterday when he rang her. Scott made another call this time to Dermot O’ Leary. Dermot knew it wasn’t Russell Brand on the phone and worked out it was Scott. Yesterday Scott left Dermot a message pretending to be Russell and Dermot rang Russell back. Dermot thought the impression was fantastic. Scott and Chappers got to talk to Steven Tyler and played him a clip of Girls Aloud vs. Sugababes – Walk This Way. Steven said it’s not about liking it it’s for charity. So maybe he didn’t like their version. Russell has had Steven twice. Joss Stone stormed passed Edith like a spoilt brat, Joss then said b***h live on air several times. She didn’t know who Russell Brand was and said s**t while still on air. Noel Gallagher kind of hinted that Justin Timberlake and Artic Monkeys have won awards.

i prefer jk and joel

can't stand her

i haven't watched but by the advert it looks stupid

i like your poster

<b>Afternoon Banter</b> Scott did some exercise yesterday and now he hurts all over including his hair. He hopes he gets snowed in tomorrow and then he won’t have to go and do any exercise. Chappers says Scott looks good. Scott was reading the Daily Star and inside there were pictures of Jade Goody doing calming Kung Fu moves. Scott is always in the park doing Kung Fu for hours and there are never any photographers. <b>Your Room Isn’t Your Room Anymore</b> Chappers has still got bits of stuff in his bedroom at his parents. His mum at the weekend tried to palm off on him his old sponge ball, but he left it there. He still sleeps in that room when he goes back home. Scott asked Chappers that question because Rob had e-mailed in. Rob used to live in a pub when he was younger, but moved out to live with his girlfriend. When he first moved out he took the stuff he needed and at Christmas Rob was supposed to take some of his stuff from his bedroom at home back to where he lives and he didn’t. His mate Jack e-mailed him to tell him he’d seen an advert in the local paper with Rob’s mums name and number on it. The advert said: for sale, videos, games, magazines, musical instruments, a whole room for sale in a clear out. Good prices. Call Jean on and then the number. Rob didn’t have a clue about the advert. Scott rang Jean and bought some of Rob’s stuff. He gave him the chance to win some of his stuff back by playing Price Is Right, except Rob is playing against Chappers. The first item was an electric guitar which Chappers won because he was the closest with £5. The second item was a TV and Nintendo 64 which Rob won because he said £15. The third item was a collection of thimbles; Rob won then because he got the price right at £2. The final item was four videos which Chappers won because he was closest with £2.50. Chappers really wanted the videos because there was one with Pamela Anderson in it. Scott bought all the stuff for £39 including a cuddly tomato which he didn’t tell Rob about. Jenny off of Walsall went to university in 2004 and found out that before she went that her parents were planning the room change. When Jenny returned home a few months later for Christmas her brother had her room, her sister had the other two rooms and Jenny had to sleep on the sofa bed. Mark rang up to say something happened when he was fourteen. One day when he went to school his mum and dad were under the impression he knew they were moving. His mum and dad were waiting for him at school, but Rob got a lift home from football. When he got home the house was empty and he thought he’d been dumped by the family. James rang up and said when he was 17 he went on holiday with hid friend. When he came back off holiday the house was empty. His parents had moved without telling him and they’d left a message with the next door neighbour. Lisa off of Birmingham said when she was 15 her and her family moved and her brother was living some where else. It took her brother a week to find them. <b>Oh My God I Can’t Believe It</b> The girl who accused Scott of lying last night and wouldn’t let it go rang up again today. She thought Scott was lying again because she thought Scott had said coming up next is Mika, and then he played it 15 minutes later. Scott said Mika is coming up soon which doesn’t mean next. So she didn’t win Kaiserchief tickets. Later on that girl rang up again because she thought she heard another lie. When Scott was playing Omarion – Ice Box, he sings ‘I’ve got an ice box where my heart used to be.’ But Scott didn’t lie so she still didn’t win tickets. <b>Scott’s New Jingle</b> Yesterday Scott was talking about Sue Merchant off of BBC Norfolk and liked her jingle. The man who does the jingles for Sue has sent a jingle for Scott and Zane Lowe. Zane loved his jingle and wished he had a voice like the man who says the jingle. Scott got another mention on Radio Norfolk. Last night Sue read on her show, ‘Hello Sue, could you play a song for my friend Laura who got engaged to her boyfriend James, love the one who doesn’t speak (she’ll know who I mean).

i had a dream about scott that i had work experience at radio 1 and i got kept on, even though i listen to him everynight