Capital Summertime Ball 2024

[Jono]

<b>It's been a hectic day so I'm here to bring you a quick round up of today's breakfast show, as written pretty late in the early hours of Friday morning!</b>

<b>Morning Banter</b>

Scott had a bit of cutlery dillema last night whilst dining out with a female friend at a posh restaurant. He didn't know which piece of cutlery to use for each course, and ended up knocking the peas right off his plate and on to the floor. One caller suggests that if you don't know what to do, you should watch Pretty Woman.

<I>Scott: "Oh my god you're such a girl"

Caller: "And you're not?!"</I>

Also in this very posh restaurant, was an American lady who leans over and asked Scott about who Jade Goody was. But how do you explain who Jade was? You can't really explain her to someone out of Britain. Scott explained she was one of the losers out Big Brother, but a millionaire. She's not really on the same level as Paris Hilton, and isn't really like Jessica Simpson either.

So yesterday Scott played the Jordan and Peter Andre "recording" of A Whole New World. It was stuck in Scott's head as he was in the shower. Well remember when Paris Hilton released her record, the team said they could kinda make any one sound good any one these days. So either Jordan is singing geniuinely rubbish, or she sounds really good and the machine they use to make people sound really good has been reversed to make her sound bad. Which one do you think it is? You're the judge.

Today on the American Name Game we had Kimberly Bumgardener and Willy Boner.

<I>Scott: Do you have a Willy?</i>

It turns out Georgina off of the news is a Bumgardener. Apparently Bowman used to have German origins which is "Bumgarten" and quite literally translates to that.

<B>Talking sh*t</b>

Meanwhile, on that high brow level, Scott went for a quick post-show drink yesterday (excluding Chappers). He went the loo for a number two, but the toilet was blocked. The toilet was now starting to flow, and the contents were still in the bowl. There are now people waiting to get in to the toilet. What would you do? Scott opened the door, and ran. Delightful.

<b>Laura's Diary - Episode 4</b>

And at 8.15 exactly today, it was time for Laura's Diary with Fox Mary. Today's instalment comes from the 22nd August 1998. Today Laura had just got back from a long walk in the rain. She needed to clear her head, and was soaking wet.

<I>Diary: "It felt good getting wetter and wetter"

Scott: Hang on a minute, is this the same diary as yesterday?!</I>

Daddy then told Laura off for bringing mud and water into the house and up the stairs. Laura was interpreting dreams from what Ben had said in his sleep. If the call he made whilst sleeping was for someone else, it means it could be divorce or something of a similar nature.

Whilst she was out in the rain, Laura thought of the Spice Girls a lot. She thinks she needs more girl power, and that she needs to confront Ben. She compared the situation to 'Stop!' and now knows what to do. Despite Geri leaving the 'SGs', they were okay, so Laura will be fine without Ben. Or so she thinks...

<b>The Florist Game</b>

More of the Florist Game again, and this time we've gone international. Today's message? Pretty simple - "I'm out! I told you I would track you down. You'll wish you hadn't given evidence against me, do not contact the police". She was quite happy to write anything you wanted in the card for flowers.

<b>Hoff Mania</b>

Finally, the quiz that is starting to grip the nation as the day goes by. He still couldn't pick out a best bit of Laura's Diary, and last night he went to a carboot sale. He picked up a stuffed beaver that looked like Moira Stewart. Today listeners needed to identify the mystery voice... but who was it?

Today's prize was the chance to be on the first space shuttle mission. In reality, it's a copy of the best of The Hoff's album.

Helena was on. She was terribly excited, and terribly posh. She's got blonde hair, blue eyes, and is 26 - depending on whether she knows what year it is. She's a house mistress.

<I>The Hoff: Good actual mornin'</I>

Of a girls school.

<I>The Hoff: Good actual mornin'</I>

She guessed that it was Kate Moss. But was hopelessly wrong.

Then we had Joanna. She's short, bald and 21.

<I>The Hoff: Good actual mornin'</I>

She thinks it might be Lilly Allen. But was completely wrong. The calls kept flooding in.

Stuart was also on. He's no good with French, so let's cut to the chase. He thinks it might be Charlotte Church. And you know, he was right.

The Hoff's going to Ramsbottom tonight, because it's got a really weird name.

<b>Geek Speak</b>

Another good show, although I think the format needs a shake up. There's only so much of the same features each day that I can take so early in the morning. A full review of Friday's show is coming tomorrow!