Vicki had followed magazine advice far too literally
The previous day’s toe-sucking discussion produced listener Vicki.
At university, she had read an article claiming toe sucking was sexy.
Rather than simply filing this away as questionable magazine advice, Vicki tried it.
She was with a boy.
The moment arrived.
She went for the toe.
The reaction was mainly confusion.
That might have been survivable.
The problem was what happened afterwards.
The reputation travelled through halls
News spread.
University accommodation is extremely efficient at turning one awkward moment into somebody’s defining characteristic.
Then snow arrived.
Someone wrote the phrase:
“Vicki sucks toes”
in enormous letters outside.
Anybody overlooking the area could see it.
Vicki’s attempt to be adventurous had become public branding.
Scott and Chris used the story to ask listeners what reputation they had somehow acquired and what tiny event had created it.
Hannah had become a time lord at parties
Listener Hannah had a much more strategic reputation.
She loved hosting.
The problem came around one or two in the morning when guests began noticing the time and considering going home.
Hannah had developed a solution.
Wait until people were outside or in the toilet.
Walk over to the wall clock.
Turn it backwards by a couple of hours.
Guests returned, checked the time and believed it was still early enough to continue.
Scott could barely believe the deception worked.
Hannah said alcohol probably helped.
She even tricked her own husband
The time manipulation was not limited to friends.
If Hannah’s husband wanted everybody to go to bed, she could change the clock and keep the night running.
Scott described her as a time lord.
Chris pointed out that the method relied on everybody ignoring their phones.
Hannah’s parties apparently contained exactly the right conditions for that.
The technique was dishonest.
It was also undeniably effective.
Fake Boyfriend Service returned from 2018
The show went into the archive for Fake Boyfriend Service.
The old feature was designed for single listeners tired of relatives asking why they did not have a partner.
Chris would call the family pretending to be the boyfriend.
Naturally, the fictional man was ludicrously impressive.
The replay involved Max Power OBE, a name subtle enough to convince absolutely nobody who thought about it for more than five seconds.
Scott and Chris still loved how elaborate the invented partner could become.
Granny Tinder checked in by FaceTime
Lynette appeared via FaceTime using her son’s phone and updated Scott and Chris on swimming and aqua classes.
By this point, Granny Tinder could appear without any actual swiping and still feel like a complete feature.
The programme had spent enough time with Lynette that listeners were simply interested in what she had been doing.
The episode therefore moved from toe sucking to altered clocks, fake boyfriends and aqua aerobics without ever needing a common theme.
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