Germany wanted Radio 1’s football experts
England were about to play Germany at Euro 2020.
A major German radio station invited Scott and Chris onto its breakfast show to discuss the match.
There was only one obvious problem.
Scott did not know enough about football to justify being presented as an expert.
The solution was simple.
Chris would write the answers.
Scott would deliver them with confidence.
The whole thing became Faking It, only on live international radio.
Scott’s crib sheet contained properly football-sounding language
Chris armed him with phrases designed to make any answer sound knowledgeable.
Elite engineering.
There are no easy games at this stage.
References to Sancho, Bellingham, Mason Mount and Raheem Sterling.
Scott read them as though these were thoughts he had personally developed through hours of analysis.
At one point the transcript even has him place Steve Coogan among Premier League stars.
Whether that was a verbal slip or ASR confusion, the overall effect remained the same:
Scott was bluffing hard.
Joachim Löw’s finger-sniffing became part of the international analysis
Then Scott reached Germany manager Joachim Löw.
There had long been viral footage of Löw engaging in unpleasant touch-and-sniff habits on the touchline.
Scott could not resist.
He described Germany as having a finger-sniffing manager.
Millions of German listeners were potentially hearing Britain’s supposed football representative bring up one of their coach’s least dignified viral moments.
Chris was delighted.
The German host proposed a musical bet
The station’s host Oli suggested a wager.
If Germany won, Scott and Chris would play the German football song *54, 74, 90, 2006*.
If England won, the German station would play England’s big football anthem.
Scott and Chris deliberately nominated Shout for England by Dizzee Rascal and James Corden.
They knew perfectly well it was not the song every England fan would automatically choose.
The idea of German radio solemnly treating it as England’s defining anthem made the bet even better.
Adding an O apparently made names sexier
Måneskin singer Damiano David also prompted a separate observation.
“Damian” sounded ordinary.
“Damiano” sounded glamorous.
Scott and Chris began applying an unnecessary O to names to see whether the effect was universal.
Cristiano Ronaldo was cited as further evidence.
The theory was not scientific.
That had never stopped the show before.
Love Island supplied the missing-word quiz
Don’t Look It Up used *Love Island* language and missing words.
The football blag had already required Scott to sound knowledgeable about one subject he only partly understood.
The quiz gave him another opportunity.
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