Scott refused to do lazy Halloween radio
Scott had noticed television and radio programmes transforming every ordinary feature into something Halloween-themed.
He complained about presenters wearing costumes to work and food being renamed for one day.
Then he immediately did exactly the same thing.
The Who Game became the Whoooo Game.
Scarlett Moffatt joined.
Scott insisted this was not because putting Scarlett on a Halloween programme was itself supposed to be frightening.
She simply happened to be a good guest.
The BBC canteen had renamed lunch
Scott went to inspect the Halloween menu.
Tomato soup had become wizard’s beef and blood tomato soup.
Squash and pumpkin soup gained a devilish description.
King prawns became Devil’s Fingers.
Listeners sent their own workplace examples.
There was zombie lasagne, cheese-and-ham ghosties and ordinary pizzas renamed with references to black slime.
Scott’s favourite part was how little some dishes actually changed.
A normal lunch could become Halloween food by putting “zombie” in front of the name.
Peak geekery arrived from the Apple event
The previous night had also included an Apple product launch.
Scott had been told by somebody close to him to leave them alone while they watched it.
He could not understand why people voluntarily sat through live technology presentations about laptops and tablets.
A listener had experienced the same thing with her boyfriend.
Scott played clips from the presentation, including the excitement around a new MacBook Air and the ability to engrave an Apple Pencil.
For the people who loved it, this was a major event.
For Scott, it was peak geekery.
Britain’s most haunted person had dating ghosts
Halloween provided the perfect excuse to return to ghosting.
Listener SJ claimed to be Britain’s most haunted person.
Not by spirits.
By dates.
She described men who disappeared, returned later and then disappeared again.
One ghost had resurfaced after an earlier disappearance, only to cancel another meeting because he had supposedly been underpaid.
Scott thought “I’ve been underpaid” was one of the most inventive excuses Ghostbusters had ever heard.
The story blurred ghosting and bobbing, the behaviour the show had named earlier in the year when somebody repeatedly resurfaced before vanishing again.
SJ had experienced enough versions to qualify for the title.
Pumpkin guts were not for Scott
The programme also discussed the reality of carving pumpkins.
Scott liked the finished Halloween image.
He disliked putting his hand inside and removing the wet stringy contents.
Listeners were divided between people who found carving therapeutic and those who agreed that the internal pumpkin texture was one of the least appealing parts of the entire holiday.
October ended appropriately.
The month had moved through wedding suits, conception stories, nightclub tattoos, celebrity perfume and a mouse in the Live Lounge.
On Halloween itself, the most frightening thing Radio 1 could find was still dating.
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