BBC Three was back on television
BBC Three’s return as a television channel gave Scott and Chris an excuse to revisit their own slightly chaotic history with it.
They dug out audio from a night when they had been asked to provide continuity announcements between programmes. Their first link was missed completely because they were not ready, while another was hit by technical problems.
The old clips included Scott and Chris trying to introduce programmes while sounding increasingly aware that their one-night career as BBC Three announcers might not be going entirely to plan.
The comeback also fed directly into the day’s quiz, which tested them on genuine and invented BBC Three formats.
Francis and Mark sounded far too similar
Brother or Lover brought in Francis, a journalist from Limerick, and Mark, a process engineer who designed piping equipment for a pharmaceutical company.
Their answers made the team suspicious in different directions.
They had spent New Year’s Eve together, had shared rooms at weddings and on trips away, and had gone walking together regularly during lockdown.
But Mark said they only FaceTimed around once a month.
Producer Amy thought they might even be twins because their voices sounded so alike.
The final question asked whether Mark, as a pipe specialist, had ever “inspected” Francis’s pipes.
Francis said he was not allowed to.
Most of the team took that as evidence they were brother and sister.
Scott went the other way.
He was right.
Francis and Mark were lovers, and revealed they were due to get married that year.
Cheryl Hole became Chris’s lingerie consultant
With Valentine’s Day approaching, Cheryl Hole joined ahead of the launch of *RuPaul’s Drag Race UK vs the World* on BBC Three.
Scott decided Cheryl was the ideal person to help Chris with a problem he found genuinely intimidating: walking into a lingerie shop and trying to understand what everything was.
They called a store with Cheryl effectively joining Chris as his remote girlfriend and adviser.
The conversation covered bras, French knickers and the many unfamiliar words that could turn a supposedly romantic shopping trip into an exam Chris had not revised for.
Scott then quietly started mixing completely unrelated products into the descriptions.
A Wi-Fi-operated heat pump and a cordless petrol leaf blower with a curved nozzle were presented as though they might be specialist lingerie equipment.
The shop assistant understandably did not stock them.
Cheryl found the whole exercise hilarious, while Chris concluded that shopping was already difficult enough without Scott deliberately adding garden machinery into the catalogue.
The BBC Three quiz revived some extraordinary television
The day’s Real or No Real round returned to old BBC Three formats.
*My Life as an Animal*, in which people attempted to live like animals, really had existed.
So had *Hotter Than My Daughter*.
But *Reggie Yates’ Extreme Basingstoke* had not.
Scott and Chris then remembered *Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents*, including the time Scott had been DJing abroad while parents secretly watched their children from near his booth.
BBC Three’s return had therefore produced an afternoon of lost television, engaged couples pretending to be siblings and Cheryl Hole being asked whether a leaf blower belonged in a lingerie shop.
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