Scott and Chris were doing Breakfast as well
The final week of June came with an extra workload.
Scott and Chris were also covering Radio 1 Breakfast for Grimmy.
The daily podcast therefore opened with the slightly delirious energy of people who had already been broadcasting for hours before their normal afternoon show began.
Chris had another practical problem too.
His trousers had split again.
He blamed his thigh gap, or lack of one.
Scott’s advice was much less technical.
Eat better.
Go to the gym.
Stop expecting trousers to solve the problem.
Instagram screenshots created panic
The programme then investigated a question capable of terrifying almost anybody who had ever looked at somebody else’s profile.
Does Instagram tell someone when you screenshot them?
Listeners were suddenly worried.
Scott and Chris worked through the rules.
Ordinary posts and Stories did not generally trigger a screenshot notification.
Disappearing photos or videos sent through direct messages were different.
Screenshot one of those and the other person could be told.
The relief was immediate for some listeners.
For others, the distinction created a new category of social-media anxiety.
Scott advised checking before screenshotting anything which could become awkward if exposed.
Sandra chose a woman for straight-universe Scott
The previous week’s conversation about which celebrity might suit Scott in a parallel universe continued.
This time Scott’s mum Sandra was called without much preparation.
If her son were straight, which famous woman would she pair him with?
Sandra suggested names including Pixie Lott, explaining that she seemed sweet, kind and good-natured.
Scott was pleased with the quality of the answer.
Chris found the whole exercise slightly surreal.
Scott also noticed that he routinely ended calls with listeners by saying “love you, bye” but had not said the same thing to his own mother.
Messages immediately pointed this out.
Tom became the definition of hero to zero
Love Island supplied the day’s main relationship inspiration.
Tom appeared to have a very promising situation with Maura.
Then he made one catastrophic comment and repeated it in front of people who could hear.
The mood changed instantly.
Scott described it as going from hero to zero in seconds.
That launched a listener search for the shortest relationships people had ever managed.
One playground marriage lasted around five minutes.
Another caller ruined things by telling a girl his car was sexier than she was.
Scott and Chris decided school relationships were particularly efficient.
Some started and ended before the person had even got home.
Ask Me Anything joined the Tall Persons Club
The day’s Ask Me Anything guest was Stuart Morgan, a director of the Tall Persons Club of Great Britain and Ireland.
Stuart was around six foot nine.
The club had height guidelines, with men around six feet and women around five foot ten qualifying.
Scott and Chris immediately imagined theme-park-style height markers at the entrance.
Stuart explained that the club created social opportunities for people who shared the same practical issues around height.
Shorter men sometimes attended too, particularly if they wanted to meet taller women.
The organisation held regular events and had even helped relationships form.
Scott liked the idea that one physical characteristic could become the basis for an entire social network.
The Stark Guide reached the Black Country
Chris also delivered a guide to the Black Country, including local dialect.
Friend of the show Doreen or “Korean Billy” helped explain expressions such as “bostin’”, meaning great.
The guide celebrated the accent rather than treating it like something to correct.
Scott spent the rest of the afternoon trying to sound local.
The results were not consistently bostin’.
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