Scott had appeared on Match of the Day
The show opened with Chris discovering Scott had been involved with Match of the Day.
Chris was not exactly angry.
He was baffled that something involving football had happened to Scott without Chris knowing in advance.
Sport was usually Chris’s territory.
Scott reminded him that television producers did not need to ask Chris’s permission before involving somebody else.
Chris conceded the point while still sounding slightly wounded.
Their new publicity photographs were finally happening
Weeks after complaining that their nightclub posters made them look like bad magicians, new photographs were being organised.
Then the photographer or team suggested one of the most predictable DJ poses possible.
Could they wear headphones around their necks?
Scott and Chris immediately refused.
That led to a wider discussion about the standard poses attached to different professions.
Boxers posed with fists raised.
Construction workers wore hard hats even if they normally worked in an office.
Photographers held cameras in front of their faces.
Cabin crew pointed towards imaginary exits.
Olympians bit their medals.
Young farmers ended up in flat caps.
Scott realised promotional photography often reduced somebody’s entire career to one prop.
He did not want his prop to be headphones.
Playground Insults returned for Avengers: Endgame
At 3pm, Scarlett Johansson and Chris Hemsworth sat opposite one another for Playground Insults.
Scott and Chris had recorded the feature earlier but were amazed it had actually happened.
*Avengers: Endgame* was one of the biggest films in the world.
Playground Insults was normally saved for equally big bookings.
The rules remained simple.
Insult the other person until somebody laughed too much or one insult clearly won.
Do not take any of it seriously once the game was over.
Scarlett went straight to ugly
Scarlett opened brutally.
Chris Hemsworth was simply ugly.
Everybody had apparently been talking about it.
Hemsworth replied that beauty was on the inside and suggested Scarlett’s inside was awful.
The game then became more specific.
Scarlett mocked his growing collection of grandad-style cardigans.
Hemsworth responded that Scarlett was lucky she was beautiful because there was “nothing up here”, effectively calling her dumb.
Scarlett protested that she had started with a sweater and he had gone directly to intelligence.
Black Widow and hair-and-makeup became targets
Hemsworth questioned what Black Widow’s superpower actually was.
Scarlett turned towards his behaviour on set.
She said he spent more time in hair and makeup than everybody else and accused him of keeping people waiting.
Hemsworth denied the details.
The argument sounded enough like genuine colleagues bickering to make the feature better.
The insults also reached spelling his own name and Hemsworth’s arms, which Scarlett compared with Thanksgiving turkeys.
Then both actors repeatedly undermined the game by complimenting one another.
Scarlett admitted he looked great.
Hemsworth praised her.
Scott declared it perhaps the most polite Playground Insults they had ever recorded.
The attempts at hatred had proved the two stars liked one another too much.
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