Don’t know if we’ve mentioned it…
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s this genius idea happening tomorrow, White Stripes Wednesday. They’ve got a new album out tomorrow you see, so they thought they’d devote a day to them to promote the album. Something Radio 1 has never done before! Give the guy who came up with that idea a promotion! Or a biscuit. Scott had a chance for you to win tickets today, just by calling when you heard the doorbell. I think there are probably a few flaws there. It’s my mum’s text alert too, as if hearing it 24/7 isn’t annoying enough.
Listen in tomorrow, as Scott’s giving away head from The White Stripes. Sorry, I phrased that one wrong. He’s giving away a signed drum head from the White Stripes. You know the thing that sits on the front of the drum at gigs. It’s a very exclusive prize. So tune in from 4pm. A barrage of complaints then came in from drummers informing Scott it’s also a drum skin, and that he’s wrong. To wind the drummers up even more, he told some jokes about drummers. Who needs them anyway?
The hills are alive…
Last night Scott booked two tickets to go and see ‘Sing Along To The Sound Of Music’ with his mum next Friday. They play the movie in the cinema, and every one dresses up and sings along. Scott’s going along now he has to decide what he’ll be going as. I think a Nazi uniform would be different, although I think a Prince has already done that before.
Oooh matron!
The Pentagon this week has officially announced it plans to create a gay bomb. So what does this mean? Well instead of bombing people and killing people, they’ll make them all gay instead. So rather than retailiating, the opposition will be full of love. Personally I think it was just a mis-read memo. I mean ‘bomb’ and ‘bum’ sounds very similar. It’s easy to get the two mixed up. You can make your own jokes up about that. Scott joked if this had happened years back; everyone would stop hating each other, and would have the perfect homes. Cue the use of camp sound effects and Westwood’s bombs to make some comedy genius.
And now some interaction from you… the listener
Scott was sent a cassette from a girl called Lisa. She went through her old stuff, and found a box of tapes. There was a sappy mix tape made by her boyfriend at the time in 2001. Scott was hoping to bring us some of the highlights from the tape today, but there are no cassette players in the Radio 1 building. Chappers suggested speaking to Comedy Dave, if any one’s stuck in the past it’ll be him. Chappers reckons Scott was always the one geeky enough to send them out, and never received them.
Chappers: “I’m just saying you were a giver not a taker”
Scott: “You know me too well…”
(One That Doesn’t Speak and Chappers laugh)
Scott wants everything from the past that you might have received from your ex to be sent to him. He’s got a plan involving your sappy pictures, mix tapes, and whatever. Maybe even dodgy video tapes, we don’t know what this plan includes, so he might like them too. Hell, why not even send some used condoms. One caller promised Scott he’ll send some tapes in of him pretending to be a Radio 1 DJ. Normal postal address please!
And later on, Carla called in, and had a new disaster date story. After meeting a guy for a few hours, she wanted to go back to his, for some ‘coffee’. She thought he was a bit of a charmer, and after some wine, they ended up copping off with each other. But it all came to an end when she heard the toilet flush. He was unphased by this, but she didn’t want to do anything more. She introduced herself to the father, and he went off to watch the television, but the lad continued to try it on with her, and even unbuttoned her top! Scott and Chopper decided recreate the moment, with Chappers playing the father figure. Crimewatch must be kicking themselves now for not taking Scott up on the offer of participating in the reconstructions.
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