Chris accused Scott of never doing a proper job
The show began with one of those arguments where a throwaway insult unexpectedly became real.
Chris said Scott had never done a proper day’s work outside radio and would probably be useless in an ordinary job.
Scott was offended.
He had worked hard for years.
Chris clarified that he meant the kind of job involving customers, managers and tasks which had nothing to do with broadcasting.
Listeners immediately began offering Scott work experience.
Travel agencies, pubs, chip shops and other businesses wanted to test whether he could cope.
The idea would continue on Thursday.
Chris was gaming while Scott Googled himself
Chris had also become obsessed with mobile games, particularly a stickman golf title.
He accused Scott of being on his phone just as much while pretending not to be a gamer.
Scott admitted one regular use of his screen time.
He Googled himself.
Chris thought this was significantly less healthy than playing golf with a tiny cartoon figure.
Could James Corden actually sing?
The programme then discussed James Corden’s singing ability.
Listeners knew him from musical performances, *Carpool Karaoke* and television appearances, but Scott and Chris wanted to decide how much of the singing was genuinely strong and how much came from confidence and production.
They played examples and argued over whether Corden should be treated as an actual singer rather than simply somebody famous who could hold a tune.
The debate remained unresolved.
Dating-app photographs could become dangerous
Another listener had received a dating-app message which was not really about him.
The person messaging wanted to know about the friend standing beside him in the profile photograph.
Scott thought this was brutal.
The user had swiped on one person purely to request an introduction to somebody else.
The friend being requested was not impressed either.
The story became another example of dating apps creating forms of rejection nobody had needed before smartphones.
Cheryl’s houseboat escape
Then came the day’s Great Escape.
The show disguised the caller as Cheryl.
She had arranged a Tinder date with a man who lived on a houseboat.
His car was not working, so Cheryl collected the Chinese takeaway.
They ate on the deck.
She washed up.
Then they settled down to watch a James Bond film in the bed area.
The man fell asleep within around five minutes.
Cheryl sat there wondering what to do.
Eventually, around midnight, she decided to leave alone.
One foot on the jetty, one foot on the boat
Getting off the houseboat should have been straightforward.
Cheryl stepped towards the jetty.
One foot reached solid ground.
The other remained on the boat.
Her movement pushed the boat away.
The gap widened.
Cheryl found herself doing an involuntary split between boat and land.
Then she fell into the water.
Scott and Chris could hardly believe that a disappointing date had ended with an actual swim.
Cheryl managed to reach a ladder, climbed out and left.
She never saw the man again.
The programme named the exit the swim of shame.
Scott had dated on a narrowboat too
The story reminded Scott of a relationship years earlier with a woman who lived on a narrowboat around Rickmansworth.
Her parents lived on another boat nearby.
Scott admitted he had sometimes used Tesco toilets for anything requiring more privacy than the boat facilities could offer.
Chris considered this another piece of Scott’s biography which should have been disclosed much earlier.
Cinema food rules shocked everyone
The show also heard from a cinema manager who corrected a widespread assumption.
Customers could often bring in their own cold snacks.
The main restriction was hot or strongly smelling food.
Scott had spent years paying cinema prices because he thought outside food was forbidden.
He reacted as though somebody had exposed a major consumer conspiracy.
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