Hello there! Chopper’s off on his holidays, no doubt working on his Scouse accent, so we’re left in the capable hands of just Scott… with a bit of Laura
It was a bit of a quiet show today, but enough banter to keep us all entertained. Who’s been watching Big Brother then? Scott has, and thinks Pete and Nikki should get a private room away from the cameras, especially when they feel the need to play them kissing really loudly. Bring back annoying Craig and Anthony any day…
Scott would like to make it clear Chappers isn’t dead or anything, although Scott could be if he doesn’t take his anti-malaria tablets before next week’s holiday. They seem to be producing a farting side-effect for poor Scott. According to a listener that’s not the only thing that it produces. Side effects of these tablets include paranoia, hallucinations and black poos. It also could give Scott man boobs. What will it do to Laura then?!
Now we’ve not heard much from Laura and James’ relationship recently. Remember James? The loser of One Night With Laura who went on to strangely be the winner. Well today Laura had some exciting news to tell us… no she’s not engaged… nor pregnant… nor adopting a panda with James. James is moving to London so she can live with him in sin! Hurrah!
Record of the Week
This week’s Record of the Week is called ‘Checking It Out’ and is by Rock School’s Little Chris. Whether you like it or not, he’s doing it for East Anglia and the Lowestoft Massive! Go on kid!
Don’t tell Colin Murray…
There’s a new website out there called weddingbet.com. It’s a bit like those Hot Or Not Websites, and a bit like Rate My Listener. Apart from you get a description and a picture of a couple, and have to guess how long they’ll be together. They reckon Laura and James will be together for about 1 year and 8 or 9 months. Must be as long as Colin and Edith’s partnership then! Check out the forum to guess how long one of our couples will last.
Flirt Divert
On the Flirt Divert answer phone one guy had met a nice girl, but amazingly lost his wallet at the same time. Another guy couldn’t even get past the girls eyes to work out whether she had a nice body or not. And then Scott’s favourite message of the day, a guy who hadn’t managed to flush the loo before he left. Was it a ‘phantom pooper’? Colin Murray is the phantom pooper at Radio 1, he leaves some large logs in their toilet. Thankfully he’s off for late night love, so all the business will be left till later.
On this tasteful topic, whilst in Newquay Scott found that in an average bar there was a bathroom valet. He squirts some aftershave on to you, gives you some chewing gum or a lolly pop, and washes your hands for you. He reassures us the guy wasn’t watching him. He had a little dish which required a tip, but he wasn’t sure how much to put in there. One girl gave one bog troll a fiver! Blimey!
Last time Richard Bacon attempted this in a toilet he got a black eye…
We learnt one of the bog trolls in a Newcastle club has been done for selling homemade sandwiches in a club. If there’s six hundred people in an average club, and they all give £1, imagine how much you could earn. Another caller said at a staff party a colleague was so drunk she gave a valet £50 for a lollypop, but wasn’t allowed it back because it was considered impolite. In Swansea they’re called the ‘looky-looky’ men and hand the bog roll to you just before you go to the toilet.
Tomorrow Scott’s sending out ‘Laura the Log Watcher’ to pose as a bathroom valet. Can she do it? Tune in from 4pm to find out.
Not a bad show today, I’m sure it’s going to require a day or two for Scott and the team to adjust to Chappers being off. In the mean time click_here for the best of the last few weeks of shows, or click_here and tell us your views on today’s show.
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