Hello there, it's only bluddy Wednesday and a text has already arrived at the beginning of the show telling Scott not to ring the Star Phone, pretending to be from Girls Aloud.
Morning Delights
Check out page 13 of The Sun newspaper today and you'll see a mention of Scott, who's stuck between a vicious argument between Cheryl Tweedy and Charlotte Church, allegedly:
POP bruisers Cheryl Tweedy and Charlotte Church squared up last night after the Girls Aloud star bitched: You copied us.
Geordie Cheryl, 22, sparked the catfight by accusing her chart rival of ripping off the band’s sound.
Chappers isn't happy about Gordon Smart, the writer of the article. Apparently the basis of the article was that Charlotte Church had copied Girls Aloud, although if you listen back to the interview it seems much exaggerated!
Chappers: "Gordon Pillock, or whatever his name is, has turned it into a great big massive feud"
One texter reckoned the photograph above looks like Girls Aloud has gone to a night club with their dad and the dodgy night club owner with spray tan has jumped in to the picture.
The Star Phone
Star Phone
Chappers was eager to have Scott ring the Star Phone this morning. He'll be getting himself a restraining order, although Chappers reckons Scott should have one for constantly ringing Mariah. Just after 9 o'clock the mobile phone was off. Chappers has an excuse for everything, he reckons that they were probably just sleeping. Great ideas then, let’s give the phone to people who sleep all the way through the Breakfast Show! At 9.40 the phone was still off, and this time Chappers thinks that they were aware Scott wouldn't ring them today and so they turned it off.
Scott: "Have you got any more crap excuses?!"
Mills in Majorca
There are a lot of people going to Majorca this weekend. It's like Blackpool all over again. Every time Scott mentions it there seems to be a lot of callers saying they're going to.
Rate Them Happy
Yesterday's Rate My Swimwear Person was Mark from London. Scott's noticed that in his photograph there were no women, just men in black speedos. The public has voted him 'buff'.
Mark: "Oh I'm skipping to work now…"
Today's Swimwear Person was Lucy from Edinburgh. One texter wouldn't rate her 'good mornin' because of the wrap around sun glasses, but apparently she's lost them now. She couldn't remember which country the photograph had been taken in, she's been everywhere. As for the statistics, Scott guessed '34E' causing Lucy to choke. '32EE' apparently. She's after a job.
Record of the Week
Rate Them Happy
Interestingly after Rate My Swimwear Scott decided to revert back to last week's Record of The Week, the White Stripes, claiming he was "playing it all week". Was the new Simon Webb song that bad?! But eventually we did get treated to hearing it once more.
It’s Only Bluddy Friday off work
A lot of people want Friday off work, and Scott's mission is to try and get people the day off. One texter would go as far as 'snogging Chappers' to have the day off.
Chappers' Answerphone Antics
Usually when you call 08700 100 100 you get a very squeaky Scott Mills, recorded in 1998, with lots of options for where to go. But yesterday Chappers was messing with the system once more, pretending to be a recorded message during Jo Whiley's show. The poor girl only wanted to get through to Jo's Staff Wars. You really need to Listen Again if you want to hear the full thing (1hr 25 in).
Chappers: "Press 7 for complaints for JK & Joel…"
"Please be SILENT while I connect you…"
"Putting you through to John Wheel…"
"Shut your cake hole, let me finish!"
The call ended with a very polite good bye… He's a comedy genius this guy, and in my opinion the funniest feature of the show today.
El ligón divierte
Flirt Divert
It's international Flirt Divert, and it's hitting Spain with a new catchy number. Scott's got a catchy Spanish jingle for us tomorrow, but until then you'll have to put up with Scott saying it, he didn't even sing it. The international flirt divert number is 07770 758 749. Scott eventually realised that when it's going to have an international dialing code – 00 44 7770 758 749. It just gets catchier doesn't it! I suppose that's one way to get rid of the munters, just give them a long number. But if the UK version is anything to go by, we'll be hearing some interesting messages when Scott's back in his afternoon slot.
Straight from the horses mouth
It's 'Your Home is At Risk' This feature isn't for the 'hairy arsed truckers who want a light saber from Star Wars' only five to ten year olds. Today we had Scott from England – Newcastle to be precise. He's off on a school trip today, so he won't be intimidating elderly people and trying to get an ASBO. A big fan of the Foo Fighters, although he still seems to like Crazy Frog too. For the new album, Scott gambled his brother's favourite light saber. Brotherly love 'eh? For the second prize, the XBox Madagascar game, he gambled his dad's beer fridge. Chappers wanted it, and it's one of his dad's favourite possessions. And finally for 'The Simpsons' Bike, he gambled his mum and dad's brand new car, especially brought so they could fit in Scott's new baby brother. So he's giving it away… With no hesitation, Scott gambled and managed to name all of the winning horses of the Grand National since 1981 in chronological order. He answered them correctly and goes away with three top prizes.
Celebrity Time Check
Forget Chris' 7.47 and 8.10 time checks, celebrity time check is the way forward. Today at 7.10 we had television's Ben Fogle and at 8.10 we had a decent celebrity – Robbie Williams.
Other Discussions
Also on today's show there was talk of last night's Big Brother, tears of embarrassment, and Stars in Their Eyes.
Tomorrow Scott's going to try the Star Phone once more; there'll be a Random Act of Kindness and more of the usual features.
In the meantime there's the message board…
I'll be back tomorrow with Thursday's Review.
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