Everyone was talking about Squid Game
Scott had not yet properly watched Squid Game.
That did not matter.
The programme had become so culturally dominant that he already understood the basic idea.
Children’s games.
Very adult consequences.
Scott therefore asked listeners to create a specifically British edition using the games people remembered from school.
The suggestions arrived immediately.
The bleep test became genuinely terrifying
Scott’s first thought was the bleep test.
Most people already remembered it as unpleasant enough without additional consequences.
Then came British Bulldog.
I Spy.
The Floor Is Lava — only with actual lava.
Sleeping Lions — with actual lions.
Hopscotch, where the ground could disappear after every jump.
Snakes and Ladders, but with real snakes.
Egg and Spoon, where dropping the egg had much more serious consequences than losing a sports-day point.
Chris repeatedly reminded Scott he did not need to keep saying that players would die.
Everybody understood the Squid Game premise by then.
Heads Down, Thumbs Up caused complete confusion
The most common listener suggestion was Heads Down, Thumbs Up.
Scott and Chris had never heard of it.
Members of the production team could not believe this.
Attempts to explain the rules only made them more confused.
Put your head on the desk.
Put your thumbs up.
Somebody touches or squeezes one.
Then you somehow have to identify who did it.
Scott still did not understand.
The argument would spill into the following day’s programme.
Racehorse or Racing Novel became Fifty Shades of Neigh
Don’t Look It Up introduced Racehorse or Racing Novel.
The names made the round much more suggestive than expected.
Need Me Cowboy sounded like a racehorse.
It was actually a racing romance novel.
The plot involved a cowboy called Levi Tucker and enough romantic language for Scott and Chris to become distracted from the quiz itself.
Another title, Pant Raid, sounded equally capable of belonging to either a bookshop or a racecourse.
The team decided the round deserved a better name.
Fifty Shades of Neigh.
Scott considered it some of his finest work.
Bamboleo Wednesday returned as normal
The weekly Gipsy Kings ritual continued in the middle of all the Squid Game planning.
For a few minutes nobody had to understand playground rules, racing novels or anything else.
It was Wednesday.
That was enough.
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