Innuendo Bingo could not survive coronavirus
After 13 years, Scott and Chris officially ended Innuendo Bingo.
The reason was painfully obvious.
The feature required two people to sit opposite each other with mouths full of water and then spit that water everywhere when an innocent television or radio clip sounded rude.
In 2020, that was almost a textbook example of what people were being told not to do.
The game had already been absent for months.
Rather than let it quietly disappear, Scott wanted to give the feature a proper ending.
The show had one final unseen game in the bank
There was a bonus.
Before the pandemic, Radio 1 had recorded an Innuendo Bingo with Jason Mraz which had never been broadcast.
The transcript makes this explicit, despite the source filename labelling the episode “Innuendo Bingo With Maya Jama”.
Scott and Chris therefore had one genuinely new round left for the farewell.
Jason had played before and understood exactly how wet he was about to get.
This time he even arrived wearing sunglasses.
Thirteen years had produced an extraordinary guest list
The programme spent the day revisiting favourite moments.
Prince William and Catherine had once been asked about the game, although Scott wisely accepted that spraying one another with water was probably not ideal royal participation.
Daniel Radcliffe had played.
Hugh Jackman had played in an edition guest-hosted by Harry Styles when Scott could not make it.
Will Ferrell’s people had apparently worried about how much water and spitting was involved, while Will himself insisted that if they were going to do it, they should do it properly.
Tove Lo nearly walked out.
Tan France spent much of his appearance trying not to get his clothes wet.
Emily Atack supplied one of the most gloriously squelchy editions.
Lewis Capaldi and Joel Corry produced another unforgettable round.
The show counted down its favourite moments
A top five celebrated the feature’s weirdest history.
Some editions had taken place outside the normal studio.
There had been sneaky versions in libraries and universities.
Celebrities who normally arrived at Radio 1 expecting a straightforward interview instead found themselves drenched while Chris sat opposite them attempting to keep water in his mouth.
Listeners sent in memories of hearing the feature in cars, offices and drive-throughs and laughing so hard that other people thought something was wrong.
Scott loved the thought that people around the country had all been laughing at exactly the same stupid thing at exactly the same time.
There were still guests Scott wished he had got
Asked for the ultimate missed booking, Scott returned to one name he had joked about for years:
Barack Obama.
Chris reminded him that repeatedly saying “we could just DM him” had never made an appearance by a former US president especially realistic.
Now it was definitely too late.
Innuendo Bingo was ending.
Jason Mraz played the final game
The last round used exactly the formula that had sustained the feature for so long.
Water in mouths.
Carefully selected clips.
Increasingly helpless laughter.
Jason Mraz sat opposite Chris and tried to survive material from British television and radio which became filthy only when removed from its original context.
MasterChef provided comments about the inside of someone’s pie.
Gardening and daytime television supplied more unintended filth.
A Victoria Wood programme delivered another line which collapsed as soon as it was heard without context.
By the end, everybody was soaked.
The feature received the ending it deserved
Scott admitted the farewell felt unexpectedly emotional.
Innuendo Bingo had been part of his programme for longer than many radio features ever survive.
It had followed the show through different eras of Radio 1, different studios and a huge range of celebrity guests.
Coronavirus did not make the game less funny.
It simply made the basic mechanics impossible.
Rather than try to invent a sanitised version without the water, Scott and Chris decided that would miss the point.
The final Jason Mraz edition ended the feature while it was still recognisably itself:
ridiculous, wet and impossible to explain to anybody who had never heard it.
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