Chris searches the shops for erotic stationery
Daniel from Birmingham introduced the programme after his window cleaner saw him naked in the shower. The sudden appearance outside the bathroom startled Daniel so badly that he slipped while trying to escape, then hid in his bedroom when the cleaner knocked for payment. Scott decided it was still less awkward than the time a monkey watched him shower in Thailand while drinking his bottled water.
Radio 1’s film expert Rhianna faced Chris in Innuendo Bingo. Football commentary supplied tackles, stained sheets and England players with their “peckers up”, while other clips covered somebody’s plonker, a man named Dick and a presenter declaring, “I’ve got a sack.” Rhianna ended the game soaked and distinctly unimpressed when Chris attempted a friendly high five.
The team continued searching for a song suitable for the sad montage at the end of a sporting tournament. Scott had watched only part of England’s opening Euro 2012 match before falling asleep, but still believed television needed an alternative to Oasis and The Streets. He invited listeners to help create something that could accompany tearful supporters and disappointed players at almost any sporting event.
Chris’s more immediate mission was to find nudie pens that could be sent to celebrities in the hope of receiving thank-you letters. His calls to Staples, Ann Summers, B&Q, Marks & Spencer and a Salvation Army shop produced confusion but no pens. He described them as “tip and strip” stationery and asked one shop for something suitably manly before learning that Blackpool might offer the best supply.
Show and Tell found Irish supporters at Euro 2012 singing Home and Away on a bus, finally achieving the communal performance Scott and Chris had failed to create in post offices. Oh, What’s Occurring? then compared Alan Green’s restrained England commentary with a far more excitable Spanish example. Alan had not said “goal” once during the selected passage, while the Spanish commentator managed 42 cries in a single celebration.
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