Chris genuinely tried to become Batman
The archive moved to one of Chris Stark’s more ambitious attempts to find a life outside Radio 1.
He had attended a large audition to play Batman in an arena production.
It was already an unlikely casting choice.
What made it better was that a television news report from the audition managed to catch Chris in the background looking increasingly panicked rather than presenting him as the next Bruce Wayne.
The American voice needed work
Scott got Chris to recreate the Batman lines from the audition.
The feedback on the day had been that he needed to sound more American.
Chris therefore attempted the heroic voice again, with the kind of conviction which suggested he could still somehow rescue the role after the event.
He had not got the part.
Radio 1’s response was to turn the failed audition into a song.
Using Chris’s dramatic readings and the repeated declaration that his name was Chris and he was Batman, Scott and Beccy created a consolation anthem from the material.
It was probably the closest Chris was going to get to a superhero soundtrack.
Then came It’s Chris
The second half of the archive episode revisited an even more elaborate idea.
Chris had become fascinated by the wave of fly-on-the-wall reality television built around ordinary businesses and personalities.
His conclusion was that he should make one himself.
The programme would be called It’s Chris.
His friend Duggsy became the cameraman and Danny Howard was recruited to provide narration.
Danny was given lines to read without necessarily being allowed to understand the full scale of what Chris was building around them.
The documentary began with teeth and a bakery
The pilot followed Chris through the sort of everyday material reality television can make look significant.
There was tooth-brushing, which horrified Beccy when they watched it back.
Chris woke Duggsy with slaps on the thigh and noises which did not exactly suggest a premium factual production.
They went to a bakery but tried to avoid displaying brand names, only for the camera to find other obvious branding instead.
Duggsy’s framing and focus became part of the story because Chris kept criticising the quality of the footage while still behaving as though a major broadcaster was one meeting away from commissioning the series.
Pinner became the glamorous location
The production then took in the local sights around Pinner.
Even Katy Waissel’s campaign headquarters became material.
The joke was that Chris could present almost anything as though the cameras had captured an important moment in his celebrity life.
Nothing was too ordinary for It’s Chris.
The BBC pitch did not quite go to plan
Chris and Duggsy eventually took the idea to a BBC commissioner named Jan.
They arrived late, initially went to the wrong building and then discovered the camera battery had run down, forcing part of the great television pitch to be captured on a phone.
Chris also managed to get Jan’s name wrong and quickly moved to the question he considered most important: how much money could this make?
The professional feedback was less enthusiastic.
The sound and focus needed work, and the programme needed stronger relationships and more depth.
At one point the commissioner even interpreted Chris and Duggsy’s on-screen relationship as that of a couple, prompting Chris to clarify that Duggsy was not his partner.
Somehow, the pair left the meeting convinced it had gone quite well.
The hope remained.
The commission did not.
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