Chris had left the gym too long
Chris had been avoiding his gym.
Not because he hated exercising.
Because he had missed enough sessions with his personal trainer for going back to feel socially awkward.
Each missed appointment made the next one harder.
Eventually the embarrassment of explaining himself became a bigger obstacle than the workout.
Scott recognised the pattern immediately.
People did the same thing with dentists, hairdressers and friends.
Leave something unresolved long enough and simply walking back through the door can feel impossible.
The show asked listeners for places they had accidentally exiled themselves from.
Rob did not think he belonged at Oxford
September’s university features had almost finished everywhere else.
Oxford was only just beginning.
The new Fresher of the Week was Rob, 18, from Carlisle.
He had arrived at Oxford University carrying serious impostor syndrome.
Rob said he had achieved AACC, while he believed the expected offer had been around three As.
He had done well enough at interview to get in.
Now he was surrounded by people he considered much cleverer than himself.
Scott and Chris decided Rob was exactly the fresher they wanted.
He sounded less like a stereotypical Oxford student and more like somebody who had slipped through a secret door and was waiting to be noticed.
Scott gave him a pep talk.
The university had admitted him.
That meant he belonged there whether he felt it yet or not.
Dev had become sexy as a genie
Radio 1 colleague Dev Griffin was still on Strictly.
Movie Week had turned him into the Genie.
Chris suddenly saw him differently.
He had always known Dev was good-looking.
Fancy dress somehow made the fact more obvious.
The conversation broadened into people becoming unexpectedly more attractive when dressed as superheroes, characters or something completely unlike their ordinary self.
Scott had enough Strictly memories to enjoy somebody else becoming the office dance celebrity.
Ask Me Anything found Darrell
Then the programme connected to Darrell Bradford.
His profession was something Scott and Chris had not realised still existed.
Darrell was a professional mourner.
He could be hired to attend funerals when numbers were low, when somebody needed support or in circumstances where family relationships were complicated.
Darrell explained that professional mourning had historical roots stretching back thousands of years in cultures where a large turnout could signal importance or status.
His modern work was much more discreet and compassionate.
He needed a backstory
Scott asked the obvious question.
What happened if another mourner asked:
“How did you know them?”
Darrell said he received enough background information beforehand to participate respectfully rather than stand out as an obvious stranger.
He might know details about the deceased and the family situation.
The job was not about pretending grief for comic effect.
It was about helping create the atmosphere or support the family had asked for.
Darrell estimated he attended around six funerals a year professionally.
Scott immediately planned his own funeral
Chris could not resist.
Scott would definitely want a big crowd at his funeral.
Perhaps he should hire extra mourners like buying social-media followers.
Scott objected strongly.
He believed his funeral would be well attended without paid extras.
The conversation became increasingly dark as the pair imagined Scott lying in state in the Live Lounge.
Scott asked them to stop planning his death.
The subject would return on Friday anyway.
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