Scott wanted people to stop discussing his funeral
Monday’s professional mourner interview had generated an unfortunate running joke.
Chris had imagined hiring extra mourners for Scott’s funeral.
Greg James had then discussed mummification.
By Friday, funeral directors were messaging the programme with practical suggestions for preserving Scott after death.
Scott asked everybody to stop.
Chris briefly suggested laying him in state in the Live Lounge with full hair, make-up and spray tan.
That did not help.
Jesse volunteered for Where Do You Think They Were?
The conception feature returned with Jesse and his mum Pat.
Jesse had very little idea what he was about to hear.
Pat had more than enough detail.
The story began with a ghost hunt.
The group moved around in darkness with lamps at the front and back.
The organisers were deliberately trying to frighten people.
Pat admitted it worked.
Scott and Chris immediately saw the problem.
A spooky night away could create exactly the kind of heightened atmosphere the feature tended to exploit.
The B&B became much less ghostly
The couple returned to their accommodation.
Pat described getting out of the shower first and putting on a revealing red-and-black outfit.
Jesse reacted exactly as expected.
The problem with Where Do You Think They Were? was not merely learning a place and a date.
Parents often supplied visual detail.
Scott said once the image was in your head, there was no way to remove it.
Pat continued.
Jesse wished she would not.
The result was one of the more seasonally appropriate conception stories, even though it arrived several weeks before Halloween.
Rob finished his Oxford week
Fresher of the Week Rob made his final appearance.
He had begun the week worried he did not belong at Oxford.
By the end, he had found housemates, gone out, ordered too many nuggets, discussed condom delivery and admitted to turning the hob off far too late.
Scott and Chris considered the experiment a success.
Oxford had not swallowed him.
He had simply discovered very clever people could still behave like ordinary freshers.
Hull got the Stark Guide
Chris then produced a Stark Guide to Hull.
The feature aimed to make people fall back in love with their town by “rolling it in glitter”.
Hull offered plenty to work with.
The city’s maritime history, distinctive identity and cultural life gave Chris actual material before he inevitably moved into stranger local facts.
Scott enjoyed how listeners from each location became instant fact-checkers.
Any mistake generated messages within seconds.
The guide was never really about perfect scholarship.
It was about making a familiar place sound worth noticing again.
Friday ended with the Who Game
The Who Game returned too.
Old products, television and half-forgotten cultural references were offered up for instant judgement.
If everybody recognised the thing as something which used to matter but now felt distant, it received the traditional response.
“Who?”
Buckaroo and other old games entered the mix.
The combination of ghost conception, Hull tourism and forgotten board games made for a very Scott Mills Friday.
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