Scott had somehow reached adulthood without a Happy Meal
Chris had spent the weekend thinking about one of Scott’s January revelations.
Scott had never had a Happy Meal.
Not as a child.
Not as an adult.
Chris found this almost unbelievable.
So Monday’s show corrected it.
Scott received the full experience rather than simply ordering a small burger.
There was food.
There was the branded box.
There was a toy.
Scott even debated whether to choose chips or the healthier carrot option before Chris insisted the point was to do it properly.
The feature was admittedly not Radio 1’s most complicated piece of broadcasting.
Scott still treated opening his first Happy Meal like a cultural milestone.
“I’m a bad person” returned
The show also invited listeners to confess things they knew were wrong but had either never admitted or only recognised as bad in retrospect.
Previous examples included a manager turning clocks backwards so staff stayed at work longer and a supposedly committed vegan eating chicken nuggets after nights out.
One listener had even put ordinary milk into a lactose-intolerant flatmate’s lactose-free milk after becoming annoyed with them, something Scott and Chris regarded as genuinely dangerous rather than funny.
Monday brought new confessions.
One woman admitted farting directly into her sleeping partner’s face to wake him.
Others revealed smaller acts of revenge, selfishness or dishonesty which had felt reasonable at the time and much worse once said aloud on national radio.
The feature allowed a range from petty to genuinely questionable.
Scott and Chris were happy to judge each one.
Jack’s dating ban lasted about a month
Listener Jack had previously announced that 2019 would be a year without dating.
His recent romantic life had gone so badly that he wanted to stop entirely.
By the beginning of February, the plan was already collapsing.
Valentine’s Day was approaching and Jack had decided the dating pool had effectively run dry.
Rather than meet somebody new, he would message people he had already dated or spoken to before and see whether any old connection could be revived.
Scott and Chris watched while Jack started sending messages.
Replies came back quickly enough to surprise him.
One person said it had been ages and suggested meeting for a drink.
Another old contact who had ghosted him sent a selfie.
Jack suddenly had more possible Valentine’s options than he could keep track of.
The man who had sworn off dating was now considering how many people he could potentially see on the same day.
Donald Trump remained accidental entertainment
Scott also played another Donald Trump clip which had become his latest favourite example of unintentionally awkward public communication.
The show had spent much of 2018 remixing Trump phone calls and mannerisms into radio features.
2019 was apparently going to continue the tradition.
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