Peter Crouch’s pub jokes had escaped Radio 1
The video of Peter Crouch telling awful football jokes in a pub was spreading online.
Scott and Chris were delighted that tens of thousands of people had watched a feature built almost entirely around making a famous footballer walk up to strangers and say deliberately terrible things.
The success encouraged them to revisit the clips and the reactions.
Crouch remained impressively willing to carry on even when a joke died completely.
Dads were providing dreadful dating advice
The show asked listeners for the romantic advice they had received from their fathers.
Some had been told to judge men by their hands.
Others had been given warnings about clothing, jobs or apparently universal male behaviour which sounded more like family folklore than useful guidance.
Scott and Chris enjoyed the confidence with which dads could present an old theory as established science.
One piece of advice could be passed down for decades without anybody checking whether it had ever been true.
Chris misunderstood “going Dutch”
The conversation reached paying on dates.
Chris knew the phrase going Dutch.
He did not know what it meant.
His interpretation was sufficiently wrong that Scott stopped the discussion to establish the basic definition: splitting the bill rather than one person paying for everything.
For something Chris had heard throughout adult life, this was a substantial gap.
Scott began testing whether there were other common phrases Chris had been using without understanding.
The phrase became another item in the show’s long list of basic knowledge one presenter had somehow missed.
Kate’s dating chart accelerated
Cuffing Queen Kate returned.
Because she was going on holiday, Scott realised the programme needed to move through the remaining 38 dates much faster.
They had reached the teens.
Each entry was now treated almost like a chart position.
Kate’s diary reduced whole evenings to the one detail she remembered years later: a strange walk, a newspaper in the car, an odd fashion choice, too much fast food or a message which killed the attraction.
Scott loved how ruthlessly the notes worked.
A man could have spent two hours trying to impress Kate and be remembered forever as “the one who walked funny”.
The Ostrich Pillow arrived
Scott’s criticism of Chris’s ordinary neck pillow had led the team to order an Ostrich Pillow.
It looked less like travel equipment and more like inserting your head into a padded turkey.
The pillow covered most of the head and face, leaving only enough space to breathe.
Scott thought it looked ridiculous.
He was still prepared to test it on their flight to Glasgow.
The following day, the strange headwear would help create an actual confrontation with another passenger.
Bamboleo Wednesday returned
Bamboleo Wednesday once again filled the instrumental gap with old Scott Mills audio chosen by listeners.
The feature remained one of the easiest ways for tiny moments from years of the show to suddenly reappear.
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