The Cuffing Queen had to speed through the chart
Kate was about to go on holiday to the South of France.
Scott had assumed the 38-date archive could run for weeks.
Now he realised the Cuffing Queen would be unavailable.
That meant racing through a much larger group of dates.
The show had already reached date 13.
Kate’s notes continued to reduce each man to the details which survived: the way somebody walked, what was in their car, how much effort they made and which apparently harmless habit immediately became irritating.
Date 38 still waited at the end.
That was the man she remained with.
Scott began treating the countdown more and more like the Official Chart.
The Ostrich Pillow prepared to fly
Scott and Chris were travelling to Glasgow after the show.
Their huge padded Ostrich Pillow was coming with them.
Scott thought ordinary neck pillows were useless because the wearer’s head still rolled around.
The Ostrich Pillow solved that by covering almost everything.
Chris pointed out that the wearer also sacrificed a substantial amount of dignity.
They planned to find out whether looking completely absurd was worth better sleep.
Why did pilots always sound like pilots?
The programme became interested in airline language.
Pilots and cabin crew regularly used phrases most passengers would never use in normal life.
The wording could still sound impressively authoritative.
Scott and Chris began discussing the rhythms of safety announcements, flight-deck updates and the calm tone which made even mundane information sound important.
That connected with a listener whose voice sounded uncannily like a familiar automated telephone voice.
The show found the actual voice they were thinking of and put the two side by side.
Scott’s delight came from hearing something normally experienced as anonymous technology suddenly attached to a real person.
Ella earned her birthday message
Where Do You Think They Were? returned with Ella.
As with the earlier birthday victims, Ella was promised an enormous Radio 1 birthday celebration.
The condition was listening to her parents reconstruct the circumstances of her conception.
The story involved an early relationship, alcohol and a song which had apparently been playing around the time.
Ella handled the information better than some of the previous contestants and even liked the song which became associated with the story.
The feature was becoming increasingly elaborate.
A normal birthday shout-out now required parental interviews, mood music and a reconstruction of events which most families had carefully avoided discussing for decades.
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