The wedding suit still had not gone back
Before anything else, Scott wanted to know why one of the hired wedding suits was still hanging around Radio 1.
He had arranged and paid for suit hire for Chris and some of the ushers.
The return deadline had already passed.
Chris had promised to take the remaining suit back.
He had not.
Scott was now worried about late fees as well as the fact the garment was still sitting in the office.
Chris promised that he would deal with it and pay anything extra.
For Scott, this was one more wedding responsibility which had somehow survived beyond the wedding itself.
James had become a celebrity’s unofficial postman
James the private investigator arrived unusually smartly dressed because he was due to meet a client later.
He then revealed that some of his clients were celebrities.
One had given him permission to talk about a current job without revealing their identity.
The celebrity had been receiving increasingly strange fan mail and gifts.
James had therefore become their unofficial postman, screening what arrived before it reached them.
The concern became serious after somebody sent a mobile phone.
The phone was then used to track where the redirected mail eventually went.
The sender appeared to work out the celebrity’s home location and sent photographs to prove they knew where the person lived.
James said the client had also received unsettling poems, underwear and, previously, human teeth.
The purpose of James’s involvement was now security rather than curiosity.
Anything arriving could be checked before the celebrity had to deal with it personally.
Scott remembered a much less sinister version from his own life, when garden gnomes had gradually appeared outside his house one or two at a time.
Eventually that turned out to be an annoyed neighbour.
A trackable phone and human teeth were on a completely different level.
Ellie reviewed the actual profiles
After the previous day’s list of dating-app clichés, Ellie returned to judge three listeners who had volunteered their own profiles.
The first was James, 27, from Tonbridge.
His bio included the line asking whether anybody knew how to lower the difficulty setting on dating, described him as six foot two and “kind of funny, kind of good looking, kind of cool”, and mentioned that he worked at Rolex.
Ellie was not impressed by the Rolex reference.
Her advice was essentially to click the profile, drag it left and make the decision easy.
A second James, 23, from Nottingham, described himself as a Northumbria graduate and used a skiing line about carrying somebody’s skis if they held his pole.
His photographs included skiing, graduation and pictures with attractive female friends.
Ellie wanted the skiing innuendo kept as far away from her as possible and questioned why men thought posing with good-looking women improved a dating profile.
The final volunteer was Harry, 22, from Derby.
His bio was a pros-and-cons list including being six foot three, having a dog, making good cheese toasties and sharing Netflix.
Harry thought the format was original.
Ellie told him it was simply another profile bragging about being able to make a list.
She would have swiped left on all three.
Scott insisted the exercise was educational.
The three men may have felt differently.
Freya Ridings explained “Lost Without You”
Scott’s Tune of the Week was Freya Ridings’ “Lost Without You”.
Freya called from Denver, Colorado.
She said she had written the song alone in her front room after a difficult period and had never expected it to connect with so many people.
Listeners were using it both as a breakup song and, unexpectedly, as a wedding song.
Its appearance on *Love Island* had helped expose it to an even bigger audience.
Freya said she had not known the song was going to be used.
Friends began messaging her while she was in the back of a cab telling her she was “on Love Island”.
She initially thought they meant she was literally appearing on television.
The success still felt strange to somebody who had written the song while feeling isolated.
Now thousands of people were singing it back to her.
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