Why could phones not smell things?
Scott had recently walked behind a woman who smelled amazing.
He wanted to know what perfume she was wearing.
He did not want to stop a stranger and ask.
That produced what Scott initially thought was a brilliant technological idea.
Phones needed a version of Shazam for smells.
Instead of holding the phone up to music, you could discreetly point it towards somebody and identify the perfume or aftershave.
The team began discussing whether a phone could ever contain the sensors required to do it.
Then somebody reminded them of Google Nose, an old internet joke which had already imagined something very similar.
Scott was annoyed that even his stupid futuristic inventions appeared to have been thought of before.
The Honey Badger was perfect Australian television
Scott’s obsession with Australian television had intensified.
The new Australian *Bachelor* was former rugby player Nick Cummins, widely known as The Honey Badger.
Scott loved his interviews.
Cummins spoke in phrases which sounded almost impossible to manufacture outside Australia.
One included sweating “like a bag of cats at a greyhound meet”.
Another described somebody as “tough as woodpecker lips”.
Asked how he would approach the uncertainty of *The Bachelor*, he repeated advice about simply hitting it “with pace”.
Scott thought the combination of reality television and somebody who naturally spoke like that was ideal.
He was already arguing that Australian versions of programmes such as *Love Island* were more entertaining than their British equivalents.
The Honey Badger strengthened the case.
The phrases designed to annoy your partner
The show also returned to things people deliberately said because they knew their partner hated them.
One woman used “cool beans” specifically to watch her boyfriend react.
Scott’s own partner had a habit of replying to photographs with “somebody’s doing well”, regardless of whether the phrase really fitted.
Chris admitted that, during a relationship, he had once slipped into calling his now-wife “mate”.
Listeners offered “yas queen” and deliberately irritating responses to selfies such as “oh, loves herself”.
The feature was not about genuine arguments.
It was about discovering one tiny phrase which made somebody irrationally annoyed and then using it repeatedly because you knew it worked.
Robyn joined the final Breakfast Show
The biggest guest of the four-day run was Robyn.
Scott was nervous because he considered her a genuine pop legend.
She spoke from her studio and discussed her return with “Missing U”, Scott’s Tune of the Week.
She talked about performing in Ibiza, Annie Mac watching from the side of the stage, the sunset and going to Pikes afterwards.
Everything was going well.
Then Scott asked about the studio.
Because Robyn was Swedish, he asked whether it looked like IKEA.
“No,” Robyn replied.
Scott knew immediately it was a terrible question.
Chris looked at him in disbelief.
After the interview, Scott replayed the moment and admitted nerves had made him ask one of the worst opening questions of his career.
Four days and out
The show then staged an absurdly emotional farewell.
Scott and Chris had covered Breakfast for only four mornings between Nick Grimshaw finishing and Greg James beginning.
They spoke as though a major broadcasting era had ended.
Listeners sent nostalgic messages about having “grown up” with the programme despite it starting on Monday.
A montage looked back at the week.
Then Scott and Chris stepped aside for Greg.
Radio 1’s shortest Breakfast Show era was over.
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