Gooood Mornin', it's only bley Monday and it's The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills. Laura's back, Chappers is in, and so I have the feeling it's going to be a good show.
Scott had a lot of thank yous this morning – thanking JK and Joel, the strange taxi driver, and Chris who was rubbing in the fact that Scott has to host the breakfast show for the next fortnight. So it was smiles all round.
Morning Banter
First random text of the day was someone telling Scott to ring Green Day to wake him up now September has ended. Scott also declared his love for early morning television, is he trying to get us to switch off JK and Joel? Chappers suggested he'd been watching Barney again, but it turns out Scott has been watching Sky Sports 2 – well there's a first for everything. He'd been watching the Australian women performing aerobics.
Chappers: "Somebody else read the sport I'm done!"
New Breakfast Jingle #1
"Summer is behind us, Winter's drawing in,
It's warm under the duvet; don't let the cold air in,
Now it's time to rise and shine, and get up from your pit,
Brush your teeth and comb your hair and may be have a shhhh.. ower,
The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills ‘cos Chris is on Holiday… National Radio 1…"
More texters this morning included a guy loving the new jingles (so do I), a guy freezing and someone discussing Top of The Pops from last night. It was a very bizarre one last night I have to agree – Bez and Happy Mondays and Jeremy Bowen was presenting. If you saw the show Fearne just seemed to be pretending to be nice as Jeremy continued to read from his cards. I seemed to find everything he said amusing. The best line had to be Jeremy wanting to be Tony Blackburn – Quality Sunday night programming.
Chappers: "War correspondent Jeremy Bowen? What was he doing? Live from Beirut?"
This teacher demonstrates diaries cause more bad then good…
Diary Disasters
At the weekend Scott went for a drink with his friend, and whilst in the pub his friend produced his 18-year-old sister's diary and begun reading it to six people. It contained every detail you wanted to know about her. Scott then wanted to hear from those who read their sister's diary. Scott then got some grief from a caller called Alex who said Scott was wrong to have listened to his mate. She claims he should have left the pub as she'd experienced something similar. Alex's contained details about her sex life, which meant her mum then gave her a sex talk. Don't these people not know they're supposed to have one of those new fangled diaries with the lock? Or do what I do and just keep or mine on a private online blog! Scott continued to discuss the diary story throughout the show; one texter said we now all know how Anne Frank feels whilst Chappers doesn't know what the point is of a diary.
As well as that the team had found out Laura kept a diary when she was younger, and they made a plea with Laura's sister Mary to find the diaries from 96, 97 or 98 and send it in. Scott said he'd make sure there was a daily extract. I bet you can't wait to find out what alcohol she was drinking then – it's got to be better written than her Harry Potter extract.
Chappers said it was wrong for boys or girls to read their partners texts. Scott said he'd done it once, and the whole team admitted to doing it before. One caller said he'd been reading his girlfriend's diary and texts for five years. And many more calls and texts came in about reading diaries and reading texts. If you want to hear more of these revelations – go to BBC Radio 1 Online and listen again.
Rate My Listener
It's Celebrity Look-alikes week on Rate My Listener. Today's listener is Tony who is unfortanate enough to look like Sven Goran-Eriksson. Well I say he looks like Sven, he looks more like Alistar McGowan impersonating Sven. Tony's from Ireland, he's mistaken for being Sven a lot, he's married to Maureen and his ideal woman would be Nancy. Scott didn't actually ask if he's slept with any work colleagues, but still…
Click_here_to_rate_him_happy…
Are you bored of school dinners? You need a bit of Scott's School Dinners in your life. Today on the line was Jack about to go to school. He had a whole bundle of great lessons including sport and literacy and his usual lunch is a packed lunch with fruit, yoghurt and brown bread. He doesn't really enjoy his lunch a lot, and would prefer to have pine-apple and ham pizza and chips. Based on the success of 'Your Home is At Risk' is Scott's School Dinners. Jack earnt a box of 10 iced doughnuts, pizza for the class, and a deep fried mars bar.
New Breakfast Jingle #2
"Hello from Scott Mills, and his production team,
Hello if you're online logged on to the live stream,
Hello if you're tuned in your car or shower,
Now here's what's coming up, in the next half an hour,
The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills ‘cos Chris is on Holiday… National Radio 1…"
Scott's not a fan of sport (go figure) but was able to correct Chappers on his mistake during today's sports bulletin about the Middlesbrough match. He'd also like to clear up that yes there is a bottle of night nurse on Scott's desk, but he was unsure why listeners were texting him about it.
Exclusive!
Scott played an exclusive today – The Darkness' new single, 'One Way Ticket'. I'm personally unsure, and it was a mixed reaction from everyone listening to the show who I was with. I think they've lost their appeal, but I don't think it's a bad effort. Discussion included 'how can you have a one way ticket to hell and back' and again mixed reaction on the text. Some thought it was crap, some loved it.
The On Hold Game returns
The On Hold Game
And much to the delight of my friends, the On Hold Game was back again today. Some guy called Steve from Manchester has been ripping this feature off, but Scott says it's a compliment more then anything. Today Scott and the team called a mobile phone company, and put them on hold, giving them a taste of their own medicine. Today's On Hold Game came with some more cheesy music and some great lines including 'have you ever considered one of our holiday packages to Basra?' and 'for lost relatives please press three'. A hilarious call, and something my friends enjoyed hearing. One caller wants to know when the music that was played in today's game will be available for purchase, Scott said he'll try and get it out in shops or online. We'll have a clip online of the game within the next 24 hours for you to download.
Let's go back to the day when Tony Blackburn did breakfast…
Situations Vacant
Over the last week Scott's been putting adverts in the newspaper all of the UK asking for readers to apply for strange things and ring a telephone number. This advert was placed in an Irish newspaper: "Volunteers wanted to test time machine. All ages wanted, could be dangerous. Please call Professor Chapman for this unique experiment." So who would you pick? The first guy who left a message was John, who wanted to be the guy who 'went back to the future' (he can't remember his name) and wanted to get the lottery numbers for the next week. The next girl was a journalist who'd like to write about the time machine in her column and John was so desperate to be picked, so much so he didn't say a lot about himself. Finally, there was a doctor who had a serious message to put across – do not mess with time travel.
It's still not too late to try and win a date with the lovely Laura. If you want to win the chance to date her, fill in the form online on the official Mills pages.
Chappers: "She's looking hot at the moment with bacon fat and yolk rolling down her chin"
New Breakfast Jingle #3
"Tired, shattered, exhausted, whatever you want to say,
That's not why we're here, we're bright everyday,
Why would we be tired? Anyone would think,
That last night Scott had a little too much to drink,
The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills ‘cos Chris is on Holiday… National Radio 1…"
Record of the Week
This week's Record of The Week is 'Switch It On' by Will Young. Scott will be playing it all week – whether you like it or not.
Paul was back on the line today, he was the guy from last week who had sent Laura some flowers. She had last week off and had been assured Chappers would give her the flowers this week. One of the people that didn't speak (probably Emlyn) last week took the flowers home to his wife last week, rather than leaving the flowers to die in the studio for this week. Scott encouraged listeners to send in chocolates, flowers and wine to Laura using the usual Radio 1 address.
I'm a legend…
Carpark Price is Right
Today Scott had a brand new game for his breakfast show – a highly original feature called 'Carpark Price Is Right'.
"Come on down Scott Mills!"
Joined by the host with the most, Bruce Forsyth, the team sounded well up for the game, and believe me it's worth a listen again. It's so bad it's funny. The beauty of the feature is you don't really need to be in a car. Today's caller was Dena and Graham. Today's assets included a wine rack, a pair of 9 carrot gold hoop earrings, and a Playboy neon bunny light.
Brucie: "I've got one of those"
Chappers: "Thought you might, Brucie"
Graham won 2 – 1. Scott didn't quite manage to cut them off properly, maybe tomorrow, eh? Join Brucie tomorrow for another round of Carpark Price is Right…
Brucie: "Say goodbye Mr Fish… He's waving!"
A brilliant show to start the two weeks, proving Scott Mills really is the Lord. Don't forget to catch the show tomorrow morning from 7am, and check out my review tomorrow night.
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