Alrite Treacle? It's the second day of The Chris Moyles show with Scott Mills, and Chappers once again has other commitments. But the team weren't going to let that spoil their day…
Martine and a Chappers look-alike… it's head to head
Morning Banter
At the beginning of the show Scott had found the cleaner hovering the studio hilarious, and he'd had another call last night from Chris. Scott wasn't feeling very well this morning, but then again it was seven in the morning on a Tuesday – I'm sure it brings back memories of the early breakfast show. Chappers is still off making his DVD at the moment – 'Shape up with Chappers' – an exercise video out to rival Martine McCutcheon's video. Watch out for a sneak preview on the official Mills pages soon.
New Breakfast Jingle #4
"Summer is behind us, winter’s drawing in,
It's warm under the duvet; don't let the cold air in,
Now it's time to rise and shine, and get up from your pit,
Brush your teeth and comb your hair and may be have a (pause) bacon sandwich,
The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills ‘cos Chris is on Holiday… National Radio 1…"
Last night Scott's flatmate's friend popped round and he'd splashed out on a Vienetta. Remember those posh adverts? Well anyway, Scott had a nice chunk of minty Vienetta last night. The only dessert that as a child you'd actually completely eat and only comes out on special occasions such as Christmas Day, Weddings and Birthdays. Scott's enjoying his soaps at the moment, but was disappointed by the Kate Moss programme last night on Sky One. I'm afraid nothing's going to be any good after all that vienetta.
The Chris Moyles Show on Radio 1 with Scott Mills – Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like him, Dontcha wish your girlfriend was a freak like him.
Rate My Listener
It's still celebrity look-alike week, but this morning one of the Radio 1 Online team members had put it back to Moyles being on the air and so that member of the team will be asked to clear him desk by 9am. Scott asked listeners to e-mail in to replace him. Scott said it was pretty obvious who today's listener Yvonne apparently looks like (a distant relative or elderly version of) Davina McCall. Original guesses on the texts included Lorraine Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne. Her children had submitted her photograph to Radio 1 online, but claimed she couldn't actually see the link between her and Davina. She's married, has two children and her ideal guy would be Mel Gibson and her ideal woman would be Kylie.
Diary Discussion
Mary was back on the phone again today, that's Laura's sister, discussing Laura's diary. Scott's been banned from discussing the 'incident in the pool room'. She must be saving that stuff for the tabloids. The diary is on its way to the studio right now, and listeners were treated to the first extract from Monday 23rd July 1992.
Scott: "Remember she's your sister"
Mary: "I don't care!"
Today's extract included her encounter with Jamie from her youth club, and the netball match she lost 22-0.
Scott… Saving you from Jamie and his Vegetable Police…
It's another day of Scott's School Dinners today, the quiz for the kids that are bored of their school lunch. Today's caller was Ryan, who's 10, and has aspirations of being a scientist when he's older. He has school dinners, and apparently they're 'really horrible' as the 'vegetable police' had taken their chips away. How can they deprive a child of his chips? His ideal lunch would be hotdogs and jam doughnuts.
Ryan: "I like sprouts, they give me trump power, and I like to use this trump power in the middle of boring lessons…"
By answering some food related questions Ryan won a large kebab, and some candyfloss! For the star prize, enough pizza for all his class, he correctly answered 10 reasons why Vitamin C is so important. Remember, it prevents scurvy! Lots of people then praised Ryan's knowledge, before many claimed it was a fix. No doubt it was the vegetable police, ruining everyone's fun…
"When you try your best but don't succeed, when you get what you want but not what you need, when you feel so tired but you can't sleep, we'll try to fix you here on The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills on Radio 1..".
Busting Marcus
You've Been Busted
And there was a new amusing 'You've Been Busted' today. Jane rang into talk about her work colleague Marcus. She believes he's lying about being a model – apparently he knows Kate Moss. According to Jane he's apparently been in a GAP advert (she's never seen them), and Diesel. He's arrogant and he thinks he's all that. Last week he was away on a photo-shoot in Dubai for Calvin Klein apparently. But last week her friend Sue saw Marcus in a tanning salon in Enfield. Scott and team gave Marcus a call last night and it was the return of Chappers' acting skills pretending to be from the tanning salon. Chappers was giving Marcus a 'courtesy call' from the salon, and told him he needs to use more lotion on the back in the tanning booths. Chappers convinced Mark that there was CCTV in the booths, and said that those that worked in the stores compile a You've Been Framed tape. As the call progressed, Scott 'the manager' came on and asked him when he'd last been out of the country. It turned out the last time he went out of the country was in March, before Scott revealed his real identity. Marcus seemed more bothered about his modesty than the fact he'd been busted… that sums up the guy! It's definitely worth a listen again – or you can hear it on the Unofficial Mills show clips forum.
New Breakfast Jingle #5
"October time is here, and we're back on Chris' show,
Your host is Scott Mills, if he's new to you hello,
Don't be surprised if he sounds quite awake,
Because he loves early mornings like Chris Moyles loves cake,
The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills ‘cos Chris is on Holiday… National Radio 1…"
"Hi I'm Paul the voiceover guy, even though Chris is on holiday I still like to talk over the introduction of songs for Scott. He's on the toilet right now so in the meantime, sit back, relax and enjoy The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills on Radio 1"
Today's Situations Vacant was for a coach for the Swedish beach volley ball team. How many people called Sven Chapperson? Quite a lot apparently. One person, Timothy David Parker, was quick to reply, with lots of expertises; although they don't have any qualifications he is very keen and eager. Scott didn't get any volley ball coaches, but they were all very keen. One bloke was willing to offer some massages and finally one actually has some sporting knowledge. He'd been to Sweden, but had spent a lot of time playing cricket. Which one would you choose?
The Chris Moyles Show on Radio 1 with Scott Mills – He wants preen-up, he wants preen-up"
Yesterday Scott wanted to know why people take their phone to a toilet, and today Scott wanted to know do boys get jealous when their girlfriend has a text message with kisses on the end from another guy? Also today there were greater diary discussion and stories.
New Breakfast Jingle #6
"It's been a very busy show today, not long left to go,
At ten o'clock on Radio 1 will be time for Jo,
Whiley who is lovely, oh what a beautiful sight,
Only two songs left until Carpark Price is Right,
The Chris Moyles Show with Scott Mills ‘cos Chris is on Holiday… National Radio 1…"
A numpty? I think not!
And today was the second day of the legendary feature that is Carpark Price is Right with Brucie. It's based on something Brucie did quite a while ago, I wonder if you can guess what it was… Today's callers were Paul and Carolyn. Brucie introduced some new friends today 'Annette Curtain' and 'Emma Roids'.
Brucie: "Ohh it's a horn of plenty"
Up for grabs on today's show were a nose trimmer, an electric lice comb, and a furry paw-print dog cushion. Some 'must-haves' for all households.
Paul won 2 – 1, walking away with a cushion and a lice comb. Scott seems to be mastering the 'cutting off' segment of the feature of the show. Still one of the finest features of the show – although poor old Mr Fish doesn't get a say in the feature, and where do those mystery voices come from? There's more tomorrow.
Don't forget to catch Spoony's show this afternoon from 4pm, and tune in from 7am for Scott's Breakfast Show. More Unofficial Reviews tomorrow. Keep up the good work Scott and team!
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