Don't waste money on expensive IPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead. Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again. Save money on expensive personalised number plates by changing your name to match your existing plate. - i.e. Mr KVL 741Y Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view. Save electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat. The best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket. Old telephone di rectories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know. Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam, they will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence. Can't afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film and press them into your eyes. Why pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes. Make your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.