TheCooperScooper

OK, my typing speed, as tested by numerous employment agencies, is 71 wpm I knew that years spent hanging around on chat rooms was good for something... Oh, and that's not touch-typing either - it's kind of halfway between touch-typing and two-fingered hunt-and-peck, because I can type without looking at the keyboard (though it's faster if I look down), but I do use more than one finger on each hand Mark

Thanks again Mark

Pretty much. I model myself on Chris Moyles too

I was in that programme, in the background when Neil Buchanan was "making" that big picture - I was limping along towards the Rotunda Bingo Hall in Folkestone... At the time, Elaine the cashier (I worked as a bingo caller at the Rotunda) had given me a pair of her boyfriend's old shoes, and they didn't fit too well, hence the resulting limp... As for the quotes around "making"... I heard that it was some of the crew that made the big picture, then removed a section and filmed Neil putting it back on - then they showed the clips in reverse order to make it look like he made the whole thing himself! I do know that it was a very hot day on the day of filming, and the poor cameraman up on the gantry really suffered! Cheers, Mark

I don't take no drugs

Crossed with a sword fish. Don't worry, she agrees

I like Georgina Bowman and Carrie Davis I hate Jo Whiley and Zane Lowe, the music he plays is too hard

I don;t get it

She is the most attractive woman I've ever seen. Cheers, Mark

Yes Here's my wife - http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/markcooper/wedding/wedding.htm

Thank you. I consider that a compliment to not only my handsome looks but also to my communicative skills.

They are awful though, she's like a teenage girl high on Sunny D while he wishes he was a rapping Bill Cosby

I like her fringe

Why does it say Kelly Osbpurne nexy to me name?

Smells like teen spirit

Is Aled actually gay?

I think he is incredibly irritating myself

Fearne and Reggie are horrendous to listen to on a Sunday

Top Gear's back soon I guess then. That and the Krypton Factor are my two favourite current shows

They are horrible to listen to. They hurt my ears,

Woo-ey. Well done. She's good mother material

He has such an athletic body

I can't wait, it will make my July

I think it has got worse since Laura left

No Calls (to the tune of "No Scrubs" by TLC) (Note: A "telcan" is a term to refer to a telecanvasser - just in case you didn't know And I know that they can also be female - it just worked out better for the filk this way...) A telcan's a guy who sits by a phone And tries to sell crap to the public Always sayin' what you should want He just talks from his... from his... from his... from his... So... No I don't want your windows No - you ain't havin' money of mine No I don't wanna buy timeshare No - please stop wasting my time [CHORUS] I don't want no calls A telcan's a guy who can't get no cash from me Got my number offa his list He's making me pissed Trying his spiel on me I don't want no calls A telcan's a guy who can't get no cash from me Got my number offa his list He's making me pissed Trying his spiel on me But a telcan's ringing me And he's selling really hard But there's no way I'll buy what he's offering This guy must be a scrub, 'cause he got me out the tub Ain't buying from no deadbeat (deadbeat) So... No I don't want your windows No - you ain't havin' money of mine No I don't wanna buy timeshare No - please stop wasting my time [CHORUS] Now listen to me here when I'm talking Oh yes son I'm talking to you This place is a listed building Oh yes son I'm talking to you I'm gonna sue for harassment Oh yes son I'm talking to you Wanna grab all of my money Oh no I don't want no No calls No calls No no No calls No no no no No calls No no (no) [CHORUS 4 TIMES]