Vernon Kay drops the show introducer
Show introducer Conor said Vernon Kay had dropped him when he was a baby. Conor’s mother had queued to meet Vernon at a Radio 1 seaside event and, because she was a huge fan, apparently handed her child over. Vernon lost his grip, but Conor’s mother reacted quickly enough to catch him. Conor remembered none of it himself, still regarded Vernon as “a good man” and treated the incident as a story worth telling rather than a lasting grievance.
Rhianna plays Innuendo Bingo
Rhianna returned to face Chris in Innuendo Bingo, wearing a shower cap after previously trying a plastic skirt and poncho. The team had now banned ponchos because they offered guests too much protection. Early clips featured a Loose Women guest who needed to be “boofed” because of her fine hair, followed by a long sequence from The Great British Bake Off about tarts, soggy bottoms and fruity tops.
Both players struggled with the familiar cycling commentary about red and purple helmets, while clips from local radio, the Today programme and MasterChef kept the water moving. Chris broke their agreement not to spray each other in the face, then apologised after catching Rhianna directly. A final replay of the cycling clip left her drenched, completing one of the wetter games of the feature.
Dear Scott
The Posh Radio 4 Lady read messages about Edinburgh performer Barry Morgan, whose Twitter account appeared to be sending spam links, and Diamond Dave, the Californian singer, organist, DJ and master of ceremonies who had become Scott’s latest obsession. A listener living near Dave’s regular venue offered to pass on the show’s admiration. Scott refused to pay for another international flight after previously bringing singer Wing from New Zealand, but said he would cover an appearance fee if Diamond Dave could reach Britain himself.
Another listener asked whether Scott’s name was trademarked because he wanted to create a firm but moist orange cupcake with a fruity filling. Scott was happy to lend his name to it until the team warned him to be more careful about endorsements. The letters also considered whether Fearne Cotton spraying Chris during Innuendo Bingo represented progress from the days when she barely knew who he was.
The rant phoneline
Chris’s new telephone service had quickly become a victim of its own success. He had switched the phone off rather than answer calls, causing people to leave complaints about being unable to reach a phoneline designed for complaints. The voicemail count first reached 135 and then 392, while text messages demanded that he answer, complained about being cut off and asked him to return calls because the senders had run out of minutes.
When Chris finally picked up, the caller’s rant was about how long it had taken to get through. Scott concluded that the service was making people angrier rather than helping them, while Chris argued that the demand at least proved the concept. The trial had therefore succeeded in attracting callers but failed at the rather more important task of listening to them.
Celebrity dreams on Stupid Street
For Oh! What’s Occurring?, people on Stupid Street were asked which celebrity had most recently appeared in their dreams. The answers included David Beckham as an alternative bridegroom, Vanessa Feltz skiing on pigeons before swimming with turtles in a Jacuzzi, Will Ferrell telling jokes, Jamiroquai’s Jay Kay giving chase and Matt Cardle offering a cuddle. Prince Harry also appeared more than once. Any listener who had predicted one of the named celebrities earned ten Danny Howard points.
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