Scott and Chris returned to the iconic 2–6 slot
After time away, Scott and Chris were back for a temporary spell in Radio 1’s famous afternoon slot.
Both had been on holiday.
Scott had gone to Madeira, where Cristiano Ronaldo’s presence seemed to be everywhere.
The airport carried his name.
There was a museum.
There was the famous bust.
Chris had chosen something much closer to home: a New Forest holiday park.
Their first experiences of live entertainment were therefore very different.
Scott had been surrounded by Ronaldo memorabilia.
Chris had watched Chico perform a full set, including the inevitable *It’s Chico Time*.
Chris relaxed so much during a massage that he drooled on the therapist
The holiday park also provided Chris with a massage.
It worked extremely well.
Possibly too well.
Chris became so relaxed while lying face-down through the massage-table hole that saliva began to escape.
Then he realised where it had gone.
Onto the therapist’s foot.
She quietly moved her foot away.
Nobody said anything.
Chris spent the rest of the massage wondering whether he should apologise.
Scott thought the correct moment had probably passed.
Calling the therapist the following day specifically to discuss the drool might make the whole thing worse.
Scott had committed his own massage offence
Scott could not act too superior.
He had enjoyed a massage beside the sea in Madeira.
At some point, he accidentally let out a small fart.
His defence was environmental.
The waves were loud.
Perhaps the therapist never heard it.
Chris therefore had visible drool.
Scott had possible wind.
The show decided massage therapists probably encounter far worse bodily noises than customers imagine.
The question would continue the following day.
Laura applied for premium-listener status
Listener Laura had a story from her Duke of Edinburgh Award expedition as a teenager.
Her group was in Aberdeenshire doing a project connected with the decay of wildlife.
They were walking when they came across a pleasant older couple with dogs beside a Land Rover.
The teenagers stopped and chatted.
Nothing about the interaction seemed especially remarkable.
After around 15 minutes, the group spotted something much more exciting for their project.
A dead deer.
They rushed off to photograph it.
Back at camp, somebody asked the obvious question
When the group returned to base, they were asked:
“Did you just meet the Queen?”
Only then did Laura understand.
The older woman they had casually spoken to was Queen Elizabeth II.
The man with her was Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh.
Laura and her friends had been completing their Duke of Edinburgh Award, met the Duke of Edinburgh himself and failed to recognise either royal.
Even better, they had then abandoned the conversation because a dead deer was more useful to their project.
Scott and Chris thought this was one of the strongest premium-listener stories the feature had received.
VIP status was automatic.
Rapper or Accountant and Bardcore returned
Don’t Look It Up brought back Rapper or Accountant.
Names linked with artists such as Travis Scott and Snoop Dogg tested whether Scott and Chris knew real names as well as stage names.
Then came Bardcore, modern pop transformed into medieval-style arrangements.
After a holiday break, the show had immediately returned to its natural state:
royalty, bodily embarrassment and medieval cover versions in one afternoon.
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