Granny Tinder had become bigger than Tinder
Lynette returned for her weekly appearance and immediately congratulated Scott and Chris on their recent radio award.
Scott joked that the next time the programme won something, Lynette should attend the ceremony on their behalf.
They could even find her a Love Island contestant as a red-carpet companion.
The conversation demonstrated how far Granny Tinder had developed.
What had started as an 80-year-old grandmother judging her granddaughter’s dating profiles was now treated like a full show franchise.
The fitness podcast needed a name
Lynette had recently returned to exercise classes.
Scott and Chris had therefore decided she should front her own BBC Sounds fitness podcast.
Several jingles had already been produced.
The possible titles were deeply questionable.
OAP-E — a play on PE.
Lynette’s Light Lunges.
OnlyGrans.
Scott also liked Senior Fitizen.
Lynette rejected most of them immediately.
She did not want something which excluded people simply because they were not grandparents or pensioners.
The original idea, she reminded them, was simply that she would lead everybody through exercise.
The workout would be intentionally gentle
Scott imagined a video in the style of a high-energy Eric Prydz workout clip, only slowed down dramatically.
Left toe.
Pause.
Right toe.
Longer pause.
The music suggestions ranged from Fat Joe to Frank Sinatra.
At one point the programme imagined an exercise move based around a hip replacement.
Chris realised the idea could appeal both to older people who wanted gentle exercise and younger listeners who simply enjoyed Lynette’s personality.
The BBC Sounds business plan was becoming alarmingly detailed for something that had begun as a joke.
Granny Tinder still had actual men to judge
After the fitness-podcast brainstorming, Lynette returned to Zofia’s dating profiles.
One candidate was a 24-year-old dentist whose bio promised to fill cavities free of charge.
Lynette liked him more than Scott expected.
The grandmother’s standards remained consistent.
A stable job helped.
An innuendo could be forgiven if the rest of the profile sounded decent.
Deliberately bad instruments entered the quiz
Don’t Look It Up used familiar songs played badly on flutes, recorders and kazoos.
Scott said there was something inherently funny about an instrument being played badly on purpose.
The quiz was less about technical music knowledge and more about whether a melody could survive complete destruction.
And because it was Wednesday, Bamboleo still appeared on schedule.
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