Haircuts had become sheep shearing
With salons finally open again, Chris had claimed the haircut Scott bought him as a present.
The barber described the first days back not as hair cutting but sheep shearing.
Months of lockdown growth meant ordinary trims had become major jobs.
Scott immediately used the haircut as part of a broader campaign to improve Chris’s appearance, even suggesting a tan next.
Chris objected that his body had apparently become Scott’s renovation project.
Scott admitted there was some self-interest involved in buying somebody else a grooming present.
Lynette was fully vaccinated and sitting in the courtyard
Granny Tinder returned in excellent form.
Lynette had received both vaccine doses and reported no major side effects.
She was enjoying the sunshine in the shared courtyard of her over-55s development.
Scott briefly imagined the word “courtyard” meant she was living in a castle.
Lynette corrected him.
It was simply four bungalows sharing an outdoor space.
Once all the neighbours were safely vaccinated, she was looking forward to something much closer to a courtyard party.
Zofia created “co-longe”
The first Tinder profile belonged to Stefano, 27, an Italian gentleman’s fashion designer living in London.
His interests included sharp suits, shirts and expensive cologne.
Zofia read the word aloud as:
“co-longe.”
Scott and Chris stopped everything.
The mispronunciation instantly became more important than the profile.
Zofia knew what the word meant.
She had simply managed to produce a new version of it while reading live on Radio 1.
Scott was delighted because the show now had another word which could never be said normally again.
Stefano received a full Granny Tinder inspection
Lynette liked the Italian name but then became suspicious of a man interested in expensive suits and fashion.
Scott had to remind her that straight men were perfectly capable of dressing well.
The profile went through the normal Granny Tinder process in which every job, hobby and adjective was treated like evidence in a background check.
The feature’s charm remained the same.
Dating apps encourage people to compress their personalities into a few lines.
Lynette then took those few lines extremely literally.
Naked Attraction’s descriptions were still an obsession
The programme also returned to the audio description on *Naked Attraction*.
Scott and Chris had originally found the service funny because the programme required unusually vivid descriptions.
By this point, blind and visually impaired listeners had also explained how genuinely useful audio description was.
The obsession had therefore become both a source of comedy and one of the show’s unexpected accessibility discoveries.
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