Teddy’s morning walk became a dating proposal by proxy
Scott met another dog owner while walking Teddy.
The dogs did the normal canine greeting and spent far longer sniffing each other than any human introduction would allow.
The woman asked about Teddy’s breed and age.
So far, completely normal.
Then she suggested Scott and she should talk again because the two dogs might be able to make multi-cavapoo babies together.
Scott was taken aback.
He had only just met the woman.
Teddy had not been consulted.
The whole thing felt to Scott like somebody propositioning him through his dog.
Chris pointed out that owners often talk about breeding in exactly that practical way.
Scott still felt the suggestion was surprisingly forward for the first conversation on a pavement.
Teddy’s reputation was apparently at stake
Scott became mock-offended by the assumption that Teddy would simply be available.
His dog was not “loose”.
Chris reminded him that dogs do not think about social reputation in the way Scott apparently did.
Scott disagreed.
Teddy was a reflection of him.
The proposal therefore felt weirdly personal.
Teletubbies sounded deranged in an adult pitch meeting
Listener Jessie returned to describe children’s television using an adult brain.
This time Teletubbies received the treatment.
Four giant brightly coloured creatures live in a strange grassy landscape with television screens built into their stomachs.
A baby’s face appears in the sun.
A vacuum cleaner called Noo-Noo moves around the house.
The Teletubbies largely survive on Tubby Custard.
Poe has a scooter.
A lion and bear occasionally appear on wheels.
When presented calmly as a children’s show, everybody accepts it.
When Jessie described it literally, Scott and Chris could not understand how any television executive had heard the idea and approved a budget.
Chris rediscovered Power Rangers after the pub
The feature had made Chris nostalgic enough to revisit Power Rangers.
After a trip to the pub he went home and watched old episodes.
Memories came flooding back.
Chris had always wanted to be the red ranger.
The following morning he discovered his phone history showed he had been searching online for the original Power Rangers toy he could never afford as a child.
The combination of reopening pubs, childhood nostalgia and adult disposable income was apparently dangerous.
The quiz mixed law with Gemma Collins
Don’t Look It Up included material based around the law and the spectacular language of Gemma Collins.
The pairing sounded bizarre.
On Scott and Chris’s quiz, that was normally a sign the round would work.
COMMENTS