Scott had watched Family Fortunes from behind a blanket
The second archive podcast returned to Scott’s appearance on *All Star Family Fortunes*.
Scott had watched the broadcast the previous night and admitted he had spent much of it hiding under a blanket, occasionally emerging to see how badly things were going.
Chris, by contrast, had opened a beer and enjoyed every moment.
Scott’s team included his dad Pete, stepmum Sue, friend and former flatmate Fraser and sister-in-law Mandy. They were competing against Janine Duvitski and her family.
The entrance itself had already felt strange to Scott, with the family walking down a staircase together without much rehearsal.
Pete Mills became one of the stars
Scott’s dad was not especially comfortable with television.
That did not stop host Vernon Kay persuading him to perform an elephant impression when the subject of jungle animals came up.
Scott pleaded with the recording not to be replayed, which naturally guaranteed that it would be.
Pete’s elephant noise was later set against Shakira, creating a completely unnecessary remix that Chris enjoyed almost as much as the original television moment.
There was also an old family joke about Pete apparently responding to questions about his job by saying “nothing”, even though he did in fact have one — another example of nerves making the Mills family look increasingly chaotic on television.
Then Scott said zebra
The real disaster belonged to Scott himself.
Asked to name something you might see in the jungle, he answered confidently:
Zebra.
Almost immediately, he realised the problem.
Scott tried to defend himself by saying he had been thinking of *Madagascar*, while Chris pointed out that the pressure of a television studio had clearly done something to his brain.
The answer naturally became the only thing people wanted to send him on Twitter.
Scott could no longer open his mentions without seeing zebras.
An old Family Fortunes contestant made him feel slightly better
To cheer Scott up, the show revisited a classic clip from an older version of *Family Fortunes*.
A contestant asked to name something people take to the beach answered “turkey”.
Asked for the first thing you buy in a supermarket, he again said “turkey”.
Asked for a food often stuffed, he said “turkey” for a third time.
Another answer was “Hurricane Higgins”, despite that already having been used.
Scott took some comfort from the fact that however bad “zebra” had been, he had at least managed more than one answer.
Even the opposing team’s entrance somehow involved Bamboleo
Scott also remembered that the Duvitski family had walked on to *Bamboleo*, a song already deeply embedded in the Scott Mills show.
He insisted he had nothing to do with the production choosing it.
That gave the archive another neat link back to the show: a disastrous celebrity game-show appearance containing Pete’s elephant, Scott’s zebra and, for no obvious reason, *Bamboleo*.
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