Scott waited for food poisoning
Scott began Friday convinced he might not make it to the end of the programme.
He had eaten a strip of beef from the communal fridge which he thought tasted as though it was “on the turn”.
Once the idea had entered his head, every sensation became potential evidence that food poisoning was about to arrive.
That reminded him of a previous holiday mishap in Tenby.
Something had landed on his arm while people nearby were eating ice creams. Scott, believing it was a splash of vanilla ice cream, licked it.
It was not vanilla ice cream.
He later became ill, and the memory did nothing to calm him while he waited to discover whether the suspicious beef was going to have the same effect.
The week had been full of strange communication
Scott and Chris looked back at the stories which had occupied them since Monday.
Bobbing had become part of the show’s dating vocabulary.
The Dog Whisperer, Dr David Sands, had been asked to interpret Freddy’s reaction to “How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?”
Helen’s Ghostbusters story had involved a man supposedly from a notable Devon family disappearing before their date.
And Chris had become obsessed with ringing people and opening with “Wasssup”.
Then Beth arrived with a bobbing story which made the others look minor.
Two and a half years later: “Hey stranger”
Beth had met a man and spent time with him, including watching a film at his house.
Nothing developed into a relationship.
Then he disappeared.
Beth did not hear from him for around two and a half years.
When he eventually returned, there was no dramatic explanation. He simply contacted her in the casual way bobbers seemed to favour, behaving as though the enormous gap in communication barely existed.
The remarkable part was how much he remembered.
Beth said he recalled obscure details she had mentioned years earlier, including the fact her car had been in the garage.
That made the disappearance even stranger. Somebody who had apparently paid close attention at the time had nevertheless managed to vanish for more than two years.
There was enough conversation after the return for Beth to wonder whether the contact might actually continue.
Then the replies slowed again.
Several days could pass without anything.
Scott reached the obvious conclusion: he had not stopped bobbing at all. He had simply completed an unusually long dive before returning to the surface.
A later Facebook friend request only reinforced the pattern.
Beth was not convinced she wanted to reopen any of it.
Scott and Chris wanted to know whether anybody could beat her record. Two and a half years was now the benchmark for being “super-bobbed”.
The celebrity calls produced shade
The “Wasssup” idea continued too.
Calls and messages to famous contacts did not always produce the enthusiastic response Chris wanted, with some celebrities sounding confused or unimpressed by the sudden throwback greeting.
That only encouraged him.
The feature was no longer really about whether the person understood the reference. The possibility of being ignored, rejected or given a very flat response had become the point.
By the end of the week, Ghostbusters had evolved into bobbing, bobbing had become super-bobbing, and ordinary telephone etiquette had been replaced by shouting a 1990s catchphrase at famous people.
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