Breakfast began with Chris broadcasting from his in-laws
Scott and Chris started two weeks covering Greg James on Radio 1 Breakfast.
Scott was at Broadcasting House with a mask, hand sanitiser and temperature checks now part of the routine. Chris was still struggling with the internet at his own home, so he had moved the programme into his in-laws’ spare room.
There was one small issue: he was not entirely sure they knew he was about to broadcast the Radio 1 Breakfast Show from there.
Scott expected Caroline and Martin to discover it when they heard him talking loudly through the wall.
The programme also reflected another stage of lockdown easing. Wales had removed its five-mile travel restriction, pubs had reopened in England and Northern Ireland, and hairdressers were finally seeing clients again.
The Better Days Quiz returned to Gemma Collins falling through the stage
Because 2020 still felt rather bleak, the show continued its Better Days Quiz, choosing a happier or at least more memorable day from the past and asking questions about the news from that date.
Scott selected 22 October 2017: the day Gemma Collins fell through a hole in the stage at Radio 1’s Teen Awards.
Gemma had been presenting when Love Island stars rose through the stage opening beneath her. Despite being shown where to stand, she stepped backwards and disappeared.
Scott and Chris replayed the moment before listener Katie, part of a family from near Inverness who would compete across the week, took on questions from that date.
Kanye wanted to be president and one pub customer announced “Daddy’s home”
The show caught up on a weekend of reopening.
Kanye West had announced that he was running for president of the United States, prompting Scott and Chris to replay his earlier declaration at the MTV VMAs that he intended to stand in 2020.
Pubs reopening also produced one of their favourite news clips: an extremely enthusiastic man entering a Northern Irish pub shouting that “Daddy’s home”.
Scott regarded it as an alarmingly effective summary of the national mood.
Buffet shame returned with an airline twist
The programme revisited people being cut off from supposedly unlimited food or drink.
Vicky had been on a long flight to Barbados and drinking gin and tonic. When she went to ask for another, cabin crew told her there was no gin left on the plane.
Vicky became suspicious when her mum ordered one shortly afterwards and received it without difficulty.
The plane had not run out of gin.
Vicky had simply been cut off.
That sent Scott and Chris into a detailed debate about whether passengers are allowed to press the call button purely because they want another drink, and where cabin crew disappear to on long flights.
Listeners who worked in aviation quickly explained that crew-rest areas really do exist above or below the passenger cabin — but also warned them not to treat the call bell as bar service.
Scott’s anti-fly advice was highly questionable
Scott had also become convinced he had discovered a way to stop flies entering the house.
His method involved filling a clear bag with water, dropping copper coins into it and hanging it near the door.
He initially claimed flies had “a hundred eyes”, later correcting this to fewer actual eyes but lots of light receptors.
According to Scott, reflections from the coins and water confused them so much that they stayed away.
Listeners immediately challenged almost every scientific detail, but Scott remained convinced the trick worked.
Cheese Louise brought the perfect Breakfast quiz
Listener Louise from Wolverhampton had created a Zoom quiz round called Service Station or Cheese.
The premise was excellent: Scott heard a name and had to decide whether it belonged to a British cheese or a motorway service station.
Louise immediately became “Cheese Louise”.
The round included names such as Finn, Stichelton, Winslade, Willow Tree, Leeming, Darrington, Lymm, Law Cut and Gledrid.
Scott was expected to have an advantage because of his extensive motorway-service knowledge, including his attachment to Beaconsfield, Cobham, Wetherby and, of course, Fleet Services — home of the bridge that once bore his name.
He still found the distinction far harder than expected.
Hairy UK documented what lockdown had done to grooming
The show ended by finding people who had simply stopped shaving, waxing or cutting their hair.
Ashley, a delivery driver nicknamed Wookiee, had hair virtually everywhere and had accidentally booked a holiday at exactly the moment he might finally have been able to get a barber appointment.
Actor Ed in Glasgow had tried cutting his own hair and said the result made him look like the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Listeners also admitted that tattoos had disappeared beneath arm hair and that some parts of the body had become so overgrown they were attempting to comb them.
It was a very 2020 version of breakfast radio: motorway services, reopening pubs, DIY grooming and a presenter conducting the show from his in-laws’ spare room because his own broadband did not work.
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