FIFA had asked José Mourinho about aliens
Scott and Chris began with footage from the previous night’s FIFA Best awards.
Among the enormous football names and predictable sporting questions came something considerably stranger.
José Mourinho was asked to imagine an interplanetary football competition and consider who would coach the team.
Scott listened more than once and still struggled to understand why the conversation had suddenly moved towards football against aliens.
Chris translated it into pop terms.
It was like asking a singer whether they would headline a festival on Mars.
The pair immediately considered stealing the question for future celebrity interviews.
Bath students demanded togas
Then Grace, a fresher at Bath, called to make one thing clear.
Scott and Chris were playing a toga party at the weekend.
They therefore needed to wear togas.
Scott argued that DJs normally ignored fancy dress themes.
Grace was unmoved.
How could somebody come to a toga party without a toga?
Chris had already brought bedsheets into Radio 1 to experiment.
Some were damp from the rain.
One looked slightly more worn than the other.
Scott was not thrilled by the idea of sharing Chris’s bedding as stage clothing.
The pillowcase plan was rejected
Scott suggested cutting holes in a pillowcase for a more minimal version.
Chris wanted significantly more coverage.
The pair realised neither knew how a real toga was supposed to work.
The production team had anticipated this.
They had found a Roman clothing specialist known as Doctor Toga.
Doctor Toga explained the draping
The expert said the material needed to move diagonally across the torso.
Over the left shoulder.
Back down towards the right.
Then around and back towards the left so the right arm remained free.
That free arm made sense historically.
It also created a problem for Scott.
He DJed predominantly left-handed.
Chris joked that Roman senators probably had not designed the garment with modern DJ decks in mind.
Doctor Toga explained that the toga was a status garment rather than practical workwear.
Its very awkwardness helped show that the wearer was not out doing heavy labour.
Romans did not party in their togas
Then came the disappointing truth.
When Romans attended banquets or parties, they did not necessarily sit around all night in formal togas.
They had more comfortable garments for reclining and eating.
Scott thought this undermined the entire modern concept of a toga party.
Students had spent decades recreating a Roman party while wearing the item Romans themselves might have removed for it.
The historical correction did not cancel Saturday.
Scott and Chris still had to dress up.
Macy had rough eyes
Fresher of the Week Macy returned sounding exactly like somebody who had started university properly.
The source described her as having rough eyes after another night out.
Her boyfriend had also visited from Newcastle, introducing the familiar problem of a relationship from home entering a brand-new halls environment.
Scott remembered his own early university girlfriend visiting Southampton and feeling as though she was marking territory around his new social circle.
Macy said her boyfriend had got on well with the flatmates.
That was already better.
Funny Business reached Rimmers Music
Tuesday still meant Funny Business.
One call went to Rimmers Music, a perfectly genuine musical-instrument company.
Scott immediately asked whether the person answering was “the Rimmer”.
The business handled the call with exactly the calm professionalism the feature depended on.
Rex Orange County reviewed his first Live Lounge
Rex Orange County, or Alex, joined after completing his first Live Lounge.
Scott asked whether the room looked different in real life from the videos.
Alex said it did.
Without the lights, curtains and Live Lounge branding, it was ultimately just a room, smaller or differently configured than people might imagine from watching online.
He had covered Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber’s “I Don’t Care”.
Scott declared the performance a triumph.
Alex admitted doing the first one had been scary.
Now he had broken the seal, returning for another should be easier.
COMMENTS